


Knight of the Realm

by dark_and_terrible



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic (Video Games), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A Queen and her Knight, Adultery, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Complete, Dragon Riders, Enthusiastic Consent, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fantasy, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, King Arthur Inspired, Kings & Queens, Knight Kylo Ren, Knights of Ren - Freeform, Mutual Pining, Mystery, Resolved Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, War, queen rey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-03-07 15:47:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 91,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18876265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dark_and_terrible/pseuds/dark_and_terrible
Summary: Kylo Ren has only ever known war. From the time he was a young boy, he has been trained only to fight and to kill. Back from another skirmish, recently knighted and granted large holdings of land, Ren finds his life markedly more complicated when he's forced to deal more frequently with the dealings at court. Unexpectedly, he is pushed into a new position and somewhat against his will, he is forced into service of the queen: Rey.





	1. Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

> (groans loudly)  
> i promised myself i wouldn't write anymore reylo fic because it largely goes unseen but i was inspired by this really pretty edit on tumblr and if you want to know what it is, ask me and i'll try to find it
> 
> my grandma died recently and my job went (even more) south than it already had so I find myself with a lot of free time  
> i'm sorry if you are reading these and i keep posting them and then not finishing them  
> fair warning, i may not, but if you do read it  
> enjoy!  
> i'm having a lot of fun with it anyway.

❂

Ren could have bet gold on the rain, and how it seemed to show up each time he and the Knights of Ren were en route home, back from some useless skirmish or some great quest. They were in the last stretch of one such journey when it came, turning the sky slate gray - rolling heavily with dark clouds. His men were haggard, hunched over their great black horses. They were a skeletal crew, made lean by hard times and ever lessening rations.

Kylo Ren could roam the world without ever returning to Manaan. 

He should not have felt unsettled. They had done what they had been sent to do, having uprooted small factions of bandits resting dangerously at the outer edges of the kingdom. Something about Manaan always unsettled him - a slippery city built into huge bodies of water. Kylo Ren preferred to have his feet planted firmly on earth, and Manaan was ever sinking. Or at least to Ren, it felt as if it was sinking. 

The roads became mud. They were forced to dismount their horses and continue on foot to the very edge of the city, fighting the sinking mud and the struggling animals. It was always trouble, getting horses in and out of the city. Ren could see the spires of Supremacy, lifted high into the sky and marring the horizon. The city was, during a sunny day, a glittering spire. That day, it was ominous and dark, made spooky by the rain and the clouds. 

Ren used the last bit of gold he had in his pouch to buy their passage to the city on a long boat, powered by a row of tired looking men made disgruntled by the additional weight. They were recognized almost immediately, and Ren would be surprised if they made it back to the palace undetected. He had hoped to avoid the trumpets and the banners - one quality of his that the King, Hux, often chided him for. Ren could hear him now: 

**You are a Knight, Ren, act like it.**

There was no excitement for him to have been back there, and looking at the gaunt features of his knights, he realized they felt much the same. Maybe it was the ghost of hunger hanging heavy over them, maybe he was projecting his own ill feelings upon them, but they looked just as deathly as he felt. 

They did not avoid the trumpeting, nor the banners. By the time they had floated through the city, a crowd had gathered at the entrance of the palace, some sitting in their small boats - some having climbed up the long bridge to watch them pass through the gates. 

It was still raining. 

A young woman with stars in her eyes tossed him a dingy rose. It must've been white once. 

He gave her a bow of his head, his expression unreadable. A bare acknowledgment. 

There would be no chance of a bath and a bed now, there were ceremonies to be had upon the return of Hux's favorite renegade knights. They were drawn into the throne room, out of the rain. Ren felt his hair clinging to his skull, water trailing its way through the dark mass of it and sliding down his back and his features. At least in the rain, he was unaware of how wet he had become - and how his leather armor chafed him in response. 

Ren pulled his hood back away from his features, something that gave him discomfort each time he did so. The rest of his Knights moved out behind him in a formation, and they all took a knee. His eyes were on the ground until Hux came in, resplendent in white. Pure, snow driven white. It called more attention to his orange hair and the petulant tilt of his features. Hux had a way of always looking displeased, even when he was pleased. 

There were others. Advisors who were as faceless to Ren as the many who huddled at the gate, just for a glimpse of a knight. Ren glanced up only once, catching the sight of Hux's queen, sliding in like on the water to take her seat beside him. She was also dressed in white, though Ren had not had time to look excessively at her, he recognized the high shine and burnished brush of her long, auburn hair. The last time he had seen her, it had hung just past her shoulders. Now, it hung at her waist. 

He sucked in a nearly audible breath of air. 

"You are a haggard group," Hux pointed out. "But I am glad to see you, nevertheless. There were many reports of your great bravery." 

_Skirmishes, at best._ Ren found himself thinking. 

"My lord, any service we provided was done in your favor," he said. 

"I see your habit of trying to sneak in here unnoticed has not abated, Ren. We will have a feast in your honor." 

"My lord," Ren tried to push back. 

"No, I won't hear of any arguments." 

"You will have none from me my lord, but perhaps it might wait until another day. We are not suited for a feast at this time." _Clearly._

Hux was vainglorious. The Knights of Ren were stinky and covered in filth and the grime of many days on the road. 

"Yes, perhaps you are right. Tomorrow, then. Welcome home." 

Hux affected warmth, but Ren could never tell if it was genuine or not. Ren was useful to Hux, but there was not much actual warmth between them. 

"Thank you, my lord," Ren gave a deep bow. 

Her voice was unexpected, shooting clear and hot through the sudden silence. The Queen. 

"You have come home with another scar." 

Ren glanced up for just long enough to realize that it was the Queen was addressing him, directly. Had he felt shame, his cheeks might have flushed, but he was too cold and wet to draw any real blood to the surface of his skin. He reached up, fingertips touching the bumpy, curling edges of the knife wound that was quickly becoming a scar. It slashed right over his eye. He had been lucky it had only damaged his brow and his cheek. 

"I apologize if my appearance offends you, lady." 

"Yes, he is quite brutal to look at, isn't he? Beast of the realm, they should call you." 

There was a smattering of laughter across the room. Ren didn't dare to look up at his Queen. He held his hand over his scar before lifting his wet hood back over his head to shadow what might offend. 

"You are dismissed, but I would see you in my chambers once you've had a bath and a change of clothes." 

Ren gave another bow before drawing up to his full height. 

He stood taller than most of his knights, and most in the city. His height had often been debated upon - legends had been woven that he had accepted a deal from the Devil to be as tall and as broad as he was. It was unusual to the fair folk of Supremacy; many of them being short and blond. Ren's genes ran in another direction, he heralded from those that were tall and dark. 

He was one of the few who had black hair.

❂

The corridors were bustling with activity. Hux had snapped his finger and made it clear that he should like a feast, and of course, he had given his staff very little notice or time for preparation. Ren could have done without it, and if he could attend for the sake of being seen and then abruptly disappear, he would. He had no use for feasts, celebrations, or the imbibing of copious amounts of burgundy wine.

He had grown used to the shock and fear that came from those that accidentally came upon him. One of the chambermaids gasped in shock, hurrying along to get out of his path as quickly as possible. 

_The beast of the realm, indeed._

The palace was set up above the water and was made from white stone. There were many windows made of clear glass, giving a view to the crystalline water below, so clear you could see the weeds swaying through it if you looked hard enough. It was shaped in one, round 'O', all places seeming to lead back into each other at one point or another. 

There were many floors, and many rooms, and some places Ren had never seen before. Some places he might never see. Hux had gifted him with his own set of rooms, somewhere high in the towers. He wished he had his own bit of land to return to, like the others. He had never been fond of being kept in the palace like a dog waiting to be fed. 

That was exactly what he was, however. 

"My Lord," it was a voice at his back, forcing him to turn and look.

He was shocked to find it was the Queen, standing behind him in her white gown lined with fur. Ren was quick to bow, and drop back into his bow, one knee on the stone floor beneath. 

"That isn't necessary," she said. "I only meant to tell you, your face does not offend me. I apologize...if it appeared to you that it does. I meant to offer something that might help the scarring." 

"That is kind of you, my lady, to take pity upon me, but the misunderstandings of a knight can mean very little to you." 

He did not see how she was looking at him. 

"Please, get up," she tried again. 

Ren did as he was told, rising up awkwardly from his stance. He felt wobbly and was thankful he didn't require assistance. He was thankful he did not fall over. When she tried to reach out and push his hood away from his face, he flinched away from her clean hand. He would not sully her. She quickly dropped it to her side, fingertips taking up a pinch of the silken fabric from her gown. Ren forced himself to look away from it drawing along her hip-bones, visibly. 

"You must be hungry. I'll have something sent for you." 

"You are kind, but I will see to it." 

Ren gave another bow of his head before he turned, using the benefit of his long strides to get away from her as quickly as he could. When he saw that she had not followed, he slowed his step, allowing himself to truly feel the exhaustion as it settled into his body without remorse. He was tired, filled with sand and sorrow, and he wanted to lay down in his bed and sleep for days. 

He would not be so lucky, he knew. Hux would send him into another adventure before he had a chance to recover. Ren realized it was his thirty-second year on the planet, and the ailments of his body were becoming harder to avoid. He did not bounce back as quickly as he once had. 

The trek to his chambers felt long. 

The rooms had been kept clean and were out of use. They were freezing and hung with the stale air of rooms that hadn't been opened in quite a while. He opened the windows, preferring the clean smell of the rain pelting against the stone to the smell of cold stale air. His windows faced out into the vast empty water. There was nothing to see but blue. 

Kylo Ren turned away from the view when he heard a faint knock at the heavy door. He moved over towards it in his loping fashion, peering out beyond the door that he'd opened just a crack. 

"M'lady said to send you this, sir," the man at the other end said. 

Ren looked down to find that the man was holding a tray of food. 

"Thank you," he said, giving a briefly closed mouth smile and taking the tray from him. "Please have them send some hot water." 

"No need, sir. Already done." 

Ren sighed. He forced himself not to think of her hipbones, apparent through the silk of her gown. 

Ren ate what was provided, mostly fish, considering where they were. She had sent up cold ale, which he got down in about three swallows. It was all rather delicate food, not food he would've chosen on his own - when he preferred stringy, dried Gundark meat and heels of dark, rough bread. Kylo Ren ate to fuel himself, he didn't eat for enjoyment. 

He figured he would be hungry again shortly. 

His hair had grown down past his shoulders, curling out dark and thick. He took a sharp blade to it, cutting it back down to a more suitable length for court. He shaved the dark shadow of hair on his face. He bathed quickly, just in time for the water to get truly chilly. When he got out of the bath, he saw all manner of grime sinking down to the bottom of the tub, an indication of how truly grimy he had been. 

His court clothing hung a bit loosely on him. He remembered the days when he had been well fed, but they were always short lived. He chose something black. It was probably out of fashion now. It didn't matter. He was Knight, he didn't have much use for frippery. He set his armor aside, intending on walking it down to the arena to have the armorer attempt to fix it. The leather was cracked, and it was in dire need of it. 

The king kept the very most upper floor of Supremacy. It was a spanning set of chambers, decorated in lush fabrics and furs, most of which had been brought in from all across the realms. Hux favored white, and Ren always felt out of place amongst so much of it. The guards at the doors had been alerted to his coming, and one stepped forward to open the door for him. They were in a class apart from him, never having set foot outside of the palace in their lives. 

Ren stepped into the chamber, wary of the dirt his boots might leave on the pristine carpet. Hux was alone, and Ren was relieved. 

"My lord," Ren said as he gave yet another bow. 

"Ren," Hux was at his dining table, a half picked over plate set out in front of him. The china was lined with kyber silver, more expensive than anything most had seen in their lives. "You look rather less like a beast, now. I think you gave my wife a fright." 

"I am sorry if I did." 

Ren stood tall with his hands clasped behind his back. He was never at ease amongst royalty. 

"Come this way, I wish to show you something." 

Ren did as he was instructed to do, and follow the king further back into his chambers. Hux lead him to his study, an area that was rarely used if the accumulation of dust on the spines of some of the books was any indication. There was a map spread out across his great desk, and Ren looked at it. It was a map of Manaan. 

"As a reasonable method to show you my gratitude, I mean to give you this Island." 

Hux pointed to the Island. It was remote, but Ren was familiar with it. He knew where it was located. 

"There isn't anything out there, but I thought you could make something of it. I'll build something out there if you like, though there is an existing structure." 

"This is kind, but I don't require an island." 

"Oh come, Ren. People talk, you know, and they talk about why the rest of your knights have their own bits of land and you do not." 

"Didn't this Island belong to the Damerons?" Ren asked. 

"They couldn't afford to pay the taxes," Hux said, flippantly. "I won't accept no for an answer. It's yours, whether you choose to do something with it or not. You have done well with each item I have tasked you with." 

"I may have cleared the border," Ren began. "But I believe your troubles are only just beginning. The people are hungry and downtrodden." 

"I never thought you to be a humanitarian, Ren." 

Ren looked down at the white carpet beneath his black, black boots. He knew better than to try and respond to Hux's frequent deflecting. What position was he in that the king might value his input? 

"I thank you for the gift," Ren finally said. 

They both turned towards the door as it creaked open, and the sound of footsteps followed behind. 

"The gift?" Rey asked. "Oh, you must mean the island. It's a beautiful spot." 

Ren quickly bowed his head, his eyes now firmly placed on the carpet. 

"Yes, my dear," Hux said. "Quite. He's accepted it, with a bit of tooth pulling." 

"Good, I'm glad." 

"Ren, you don't need to stare at the carpet like that. We can be equals here." Hux said. 

_Equals._

"I will retire if there is nothing else you require of me," he said, trying not to sound too abrupt. 

He heard the Queen release a small puff of air. 

"Of course," Hux said. "You are free to come and go as you like." 

"Thank you," he replied. Another bow was given before he backed out of the room, doing his very best not to look at the Queen directly.

❂


	2. Sugar and Sage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Goodnight, your Highness." 
> 
> "Goodnight, Ren," she said quietly, carefully taking the cloth from him. 
> 
> When he looked at the cloth one last time, he saw the glittering gold paint that had been wiped away with the blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as you can probably tell this might not be the most historically accurate thing, but if i get something so brazenly wrong that you're offended, please tell me. 
> 
> i used the names for the knights of ren listed in the "leak" so if they end up not being right you can roast me later 
> 
> knight ren has it pretty bad, huh?
> 
> i made an edit for this! [xx](https://dark-terrible.tumblr.com/post/184995497238/knight-of-the-realm-darkandterrible-star)
> 
> also, that is my tumblr. if you like this, please reblog and share with your other reyloites

❂

Ren stared into the depths of a goblet that had been filled with red wine. He had taken two drinks out of it and then left it as it was. He wished he could say the same of his colleagues. Kato was so drunk he was harassing the bard with requests so that he could bellow along loudly with them. Zaka was busy drinking ale and was boisterously (some might say treacherously) joking about the state of the kingdom. Ren stood up from his seat at the square table that ran it's the way along the length of the room and tried to get his comrade to quiet down.

"Oh Ren, don't be such a tool," Zaka said. "Everyone knows what I say is always the truth." 

"Perhaps, but might you speak your truth in more dulcet tones?" 

"Dulcet? I don't even know what the kriff that means," he spat out, taking another swallow of ale. Ren watched as the amber colored liquid ran down his chin. Ren gave his brother a firm pat on his shoulder before walking away from him. 

They would destroy the hall if Zaka decided to challenge him. 

Ren looked up, glad to find that Hux was not paying attention to any of it. Ren had watched him drink more than his weight in burgundy wine. He was getting to a point where he was too drunk to stand up. His eyes moved quickly over the woman to his left. He only looked at her when he was sure he might do so without being noticed. She was wearing a gown that had a deep 'V' - it cut a swath down to her breastbone, and Ren could see her delicate bones beneath and the slight curve of her breasts beneath the fabric. 

The color of the gown was a deep, jewel-toned purple, a color that only the Queen herself could afford when it came to dying fabric. No one else was wearing the same color. It made her skin look more brown, something she often tried to hide underneath white shades of powder. That night, she wasn't wearing any powder. Kylo Ren saw the glint of a golden cross, hanging precariously against the small dip between her collarbones. Her hair was artfully gathered around her face, and there was a strand of gold leaf wrapped around the crown of her head, woven underneath her hair. 

Kylo Ren was thankful his belongings were packed and he was on his way to a new homestead. 

She must've felt his eyes on her, and she looked in his direction. He avoided her gaze, looking once more at Hux, who was much more interested in his compatriots than his wife. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her rise from her position at Hux's side. She whispered something in his ear and disappeared in a cloud of honey and sugar. 

Ren returned to his seat at the table. He shifted uncomfortably, unable to soothe the sudden restlessness that stuck in his throat like an arrow. After a few moments of trying to settle down, he stood up and exited the hall, his long black cape catching air behind him. 

Normally, his exit would have been marked - but what with the free flow of alcohol, no one noticed him at all. 

He stalked down the dark corridor, lit only by torches that were latched into the walls. Ren took one, using it to light his way down the path back to his room. He had an idea that he would leave tonight, though even he recognized the stupidity of it. Drowning in the dark was never how he imagined he would die, and if he braved the dark night without some thought of where he was going, he just might have. 

Ren heard the scuffle before he saw it, a woman's voice warning. He rounded the corner and saw a face he recognized and one he did not. It was the Queen, backed into a corner by a looming man who looked as if he hadn't bathed since the last era of the dragons. He had a firm, painful grasp on her arm. Ren felt anger flaring up, hot and uncontrollable. Ren was prepared to come to her aid, but she had yet to notice him, and she surprised him when she pulled the man closer by way of his coat. Ren pulled back just a bit, only to hear the man release a desperate groan as the Queen buried her knee so far into his crotch that even Ren felt it. The rage he had felt flaring up hot in his chest was dimmed, just a bit. 

The man fell back, holding at his middle and groaning. Ren wasn't surprised, exactly, when the man lost consciousness. Ren came forward, surprising her with the sudden flood of light into the dark corridor. The sound of the torch crackled as it moved through the air, causing the Queen to look at him with surprise. 

"Ren, it's you," she breathed out, relieved. 

"Are you well, Majesty?" He asked. He could see a burgeoning bruise on her bicep, blossoming like a flower in spring. 

She was trying to catch her breath. Without meaning to, Kylo Ren reached out and brushed his fingertips along the bruise. Her skin was warm and soft. She sucked in a bit of air, indicating that it was painful, and Ren quickly pulled his hand back as if he had touched something hot. 

"Will you make sure he's still alive?" 

He watched her lean back against the wall. She was trying to catch her breath, and regain her composure. Ren pulled his cape away from his lower half and leaned down, pressing his fingertips against the man's neck. He had a vague smell of urine and garbage that had been soaked in the rain and then left out in the hot sun. His heart was still beating. 

"He's alive," Ren said, standing up. "Why didn't you call out?" 

"I had it under control," Rey replied. 

"Yes," He laughed quietly, unable to help himself. "How did he get in here?" 

"I would guess it has something to do with the freely flowing ale." 

He turned, finding that she had lifted herself up from being braced against the wall. When she came into the light of the torch that Ren had replaced on the wall, he could see that her face was cut. It was small, and it wasn't likely to scar. 

"He would have had to have been fairly drunk to think that laying hands on you was a good idea," Ren looked at the unconscious man. He didn't recognize him. "You are bleeding." 

He motioned to his own cheek. She reached up, swiping two of her fingers across the wound, only serving to smear the blood across the apple of her cheek. 

Ren turned, hearing someone shuffle down the hallway. He shouted. 

"You there," he bellowed, deeply. 

The man stopped, turning to look at him. This man he recognized as one of the kitchen staff. 

"Yes, sir?" 

"Will you roust the king, and bring him here?" 

"No, that isn't necessary," Rey said, coming to stand beside him. "If you'll alert the guard, and have them bring this man to the jail. There's no need to alarm the king until the morning." 

"My queen, I do believe the King will wish to know--" 

"Kylo Ren," she said quietly, holding up her hand. "We will deal with him in the morning." 

Ren was silenced, for the time. His position as a Knight was still fairly fresh, and as one of status, it was completely new. He was not accustomed to speaking with the Queen at all, much less attempting to argue a point with her. 

"Shall I have the guard come here to you, your majesty?" The servant asked. 

"No, Kylo Ren will accompany me back to my chambers. Won't you?" 

"Of course." 

It wasn't as if he could say no to the Queen, even if his skin suddenly felt warmer than it should have.

❂

She had taken his arm. He had to walk slowly in order not to outpace her completely. Her hand looked small, dwarfed by the sheer size of even his forearm. He was thankful for the leather forearm guard that kept him from feeling the warmth of her hand through the roughspun linen of his tunic.

They were silent as they continued on down the corridor - until Ren made a move to head up the stairwell and she grasped onto the fabric of his cape, causing him to pause. 

"This is the way to your chambers, is it not?" 

"The King's chambers, yes. But I do not sleep there," she turned away from the stairs. 

Ren supposed he shouldn't have been surprised. He had never gotten the impression that their match was one of love, but they didn't appear to despise one another either. Ren had forced himself never to look too closely. In fact, this was closer than he ever wanted to be. 

_You cannot think these things, or feel these things so acutely._

He followed her. They had left the torch behind, and though the hallways were lit, they were mostly dark. The light grew bright when they passed another torch, but in between the torches, it was difficult to see anything but her profile and the dark mass of her hair. Occasionally, he would catch a glowing glint of gold on her features - as if she had been painted with it before the celebration. He fought the urge to reach out and try to wipe it away, just to see if it really was gold. 

She led him into a twisting corridor he didn't recognize, past a door he had always thought locked. He followed, realizing he had agreed to accompany her - he would have to continue to do so until she released him from his post at her side. 

"You did not wish to remain at the celebrations, tonight?" 

"No, your Majesty," he said, keeping his eyes on the ground before him. 

"You are too unwilling to look at me, I think. Does my appearance offend you, maybe?" 

"Of course not," he scoffed out. The idea of it was ridiculous, even to him. 

"Then...you are still angry with me for calling attention to your appearance?" 

"I have been called ugly for many years now, I would not have made it this far if I balked at the mockery of my appearance." 

"I wasn't mocking your appearance," she argued. 

"I know, your Majesty. Forgive the mistake." 

The conversation came to an awkward halt. She was silent beside him, her arm a constant, gentle pressure atop his own. She stopped in front of a simple door. Ren was dissatisfied to see that there was no guard posted, something he thought she had probably insisted on. She lifted her arm off of his own, and he flexed his hand as he left it to drop down to his side. 

Her eyes quickly moved away from his hand, and he had the sinking feeling he had offended her with his simple motion. It would only have made it worse if he tried to explain himself. 

"I am uneasy that there isn't a guard posted here," he admitted. 

"This place is mostly a secret. I requested that the guard focus their attention elsewhere." 

"I am still uneasy." 

"If it would make you more comfortable, you can check my rooms before you leave," she offered. 

Kylo Ren nodded his head, watching as she pulled a key from a pocket hidden on her gown. She unlocked the door, and it opened. It was a far cry from the icy splendor of the King's chambers. It was decorated in warm, muted tones. It had the scent of mulled cider. There was a fire lit in the hearth, something that Ren did not see often in this city over the sea. He stepped inside of the chamber, finding it was much more...common than he expected. It was lacking in all of the bells and whistles that he had come to expect from a reigning Queen. 

His footfalls were heavy on the floor, despite how quiet he tried to be. He made his way through the rooms, checking behind the falls of fabric that acted as curtains on the windows, checking behind doors and in closets. When he satisfied himself that the room was empty, he made his way out into the common area to find her sitting in front of a looking glass, unlatching the glittering gold cross from her neck. 

"Thank you, Ren," she said, turning in her chair to regard him. He had never been close enough to her to really see what color her eyes were. Now he could see that they were hazel green, gold speckled around the black of her pupils. 

He could see the drying blood on her cheek. 

Ren stopped in front of the washbasin. He lifted up the white cloth, dunking it into the water that was probably chilled by now. He waited until the cloth was soaked through enough to do some good before he tried to hand it over to her. She looked up at him, confused as to why he was trying to give her a damp cloth. He shouldn't have touched her, but he lifted the cloth to gently wipe away the rusted red of her blood. The cool, faint tinge of copper filled his nostrils as the blood was wetted, and he was satisfied when he had wiped it all away, leaving the small cut clean and pink. 

He heard her release a heavy breath of air. 

He handed her the damp cloth, trying to regain some of his own composure. 

"Goodnight, your Highness." 

"Goodnight, Ren," she said quietly, carefully taking the cloth from him. 

When he looked at the cloth one last time, he saw the glittering gold paint that had been wiped away with the blood.

❂

If she alerted the king to the man in the jail, Ren did not know about it. Before the sun had come up in the horizon, Kylo Ren had gotten out of his bed and gotten dressed. He hadn't been able to sleep, at first blaming it on the few mouthfuls of wine he'd taken - and then realizing that his mind kept running over the events of the night.

Ren had only been back a day and he already felt stifled by the place. 

Ren had the servant gather his belongs and help him out into the chilly morning air. Hux had given him a boat, which he would have to row on his own out to the Isle. Ren could not remember what the Dameron's had named it, and he could not ignore the twinge of guilt that twisted up in his gut like a snake when he thought of them. 

By midday, the sun had come up and chased any sign of rain clouds from the sky. Ren wasn't sure he preferred being damp or sun-blistered, but he found the warmth helped wake him up. He shed his cloak and his leather tunic, leaving behind only the open weave of his linens. He rolled up his sleeves, revealing arms that were already nut brown from training in the sun. 

The sun had sunk lower in the sky by the time he finally reached the island. The beach was white sand, fading out into flora and fauna farther away from the water. Ren pulled the boat into the sand, far away from the incoming tide so that it wouldn't float away and leave him stranded there, though in his estimation someone would come to seek him out eventually. 

He hid the boat, in fact, out of sight, in case he should have unwanted visitors. 

Ren gathered what he could and began the trek to the old house that he remembered. It was more than he needed, but he could make do with it. It would give him something to do, a project to complete. There would be something to occupy his mind while he was waiting for Hux to send him on another goose chase. He opened the door. It fought against him but finally, he was able to prop it open with a large boulder he'd found near the beach. 

Ren moved through the two-story stone structure, now devoid of life. There were parts that needed repair, but overall, the house was still in good shape. Good enough shape for him to stay in while he was back in Manaan, anyway. 

He did not sleep well at night. The sound of the water unnerved him. It was so quiet, he did not realize how accustomed he had become to the sounds of the palace, settling around him. He woke at dawn and began a routine. Stores of food were sent, as well as building items required to fix the already existing structure. He had gotten a small note from the King. 

_We'll visit when it's complete._

Ren would be expected to continue on with his duties. He would be expected at the palace. But it wasn't beyond Hux to give him a few weeks to recover before he forced him, full tilt, back into said duties. 

So, for now, each day he got a little further in his plans to repair the house. He was utterly alone most days unless visited by the post or a servant that had been instructed to bring him more items. He was lucky, he realized, having a King pave his way to a house. A home he might never have had otherwise. 

There were days when the sun was so hot that he stripped down to his breeches and boots and worked in the sun, bare-chested. It was one such day when he had climbed to the roof of the manse and begun repairs on it. He could not have guessed at the temperature, but the sun bearing down on him made him sweat profusely. When he touched the black of his hair, it was hot. 

Perhaps he should've taken Hux up on his offer to have someone else do the work for him. 

The sun was at it's highest point in the sky when he caught sight of movement. He was surprised to find it was a woman when he looked again. She looked as if she had come out of the mist. She was wearing a white, linen gown and she had draped a gauzy white piece of fabric over her face in an attempt to hide her features. It didn't work - if anything it would only draw more attention to her. He could tell by the tilt of her head that she was looking at him, her hand held in front to keep the fabric from blowing away. 

Ren wondered if she was a ghost. Would she disappear by the time he got down from the roof, back again into the mist? 

He quickly pulled his shirt on over his dark hair and scaled his way down the ladder at the back of the house. 

His gait was quick when he came around the front of the house. He saw that she hadn't disappeared, and instead, she had come nearer to the house. He still could not see her features, but as he drew closer, he realized that he knew this woman. She pulled the fabric away from her face, revealing features that he recognized completely. It was Rey. 

"Kylo Ren," she said, a beatific smile on her face. 

"Have you come alone?" he asked, unable to help the shock in his voice. 

"There are guards with the boat, why?" 

What could he say? That she was the last person he was expecting to see on this sunny afternoon? And why was she even there? He didn't say anything at all, not until she spoke again. 

"You must be surprised. May I come in?" 

"Oh, yes," Ren said, mentally cursing himself for being remiss in offering her anything. 

He stepped back, allowing her to lead herself into the house he was currently repairing. He could do very little about his appearance now, though he at least tucked his shirt into his breeches and stopped at the well to wash his hands. He followed her into what had become the common room. 

"I do not have much to offer you. Tea?" He wiped his hands at the tops of his pants, still wet from the washing. 

"You weren't expecting a guest. Tea is fine," she said. 

Ren wondered if she would even prefer the tea he had. It was a far cry from what they served at the palace, full of spice and flavor. He squirreled away stocks of it, returning to his homeland when he had the opportunity to and purchasing more. It reminded him of home, and it felt like a sorry thing to give it up for the milk-water that was served all around Manaan. 

He made it within view of her, setting the kettle atop the coals that often burned in the kitchen. It whistled quickly, and he poured the hot liquid atop the dark tea leaves that floated openly in the heavy mugs he kept. They certainly didn't look like the teacups that were at the palace, more utilitarian than that. He handed her the mug, watching her take a sip of it. It was clear the taste of it surprised her. 

"What is this?" 

"It's spice tea, from my homeland. If you don't care for it--" 

"No, it's lovely." 

He remained silent while he waited for her to explain her presence here. He kept his distance from her, doing his best not to look at her in too direct a fashion. She looked tired, he noticed, the shadows hanging beneath her eyes making it clear that she hadn't been sleeping very well. 

"Are you well, your highness?" He finally attempted. 

She looked up, directly into his face. 

"This place is much different than how it was the last time I was here," she offered. He got the distinct feeling she wasn't ready to speak about why she was really there. Not yet. 

"Yes," he said. "It has been a long time since someone has lived in this house." 

"You look too large for this house," she said, a smile creasing her face. "Even at the palace, you seem to dwarf the corridors." 

Ren wasn't sure how to respond to that, so he didn't. 

She smiled at him for a moment before it seemed to fade away. Her eyes dropped down to the floor, and she quietly took another sip of the steaming tea. It was too hot for tea, but Rey drank it anyway, likely out of politeness. 

"I've come to ask you for a favor," she finally said, wrapping her small hands around the large mug. 

"Ask," he said, more firmly than he meant to. 

"Hux has been called to Korriban," she began. "I imagine you'll be receiving news of it in the post in a day or two." 

Ren must have looked surprised. 

"His presence has been requested, specifically, and he will go...instead of sending you." 

"Surely I will accompany him." 

"I am being followed," she said in reply. "I should like it if you will remain here, with me." 

_Followed?_

Ren felt his brow drop in confusion. He had a million questions, but he realized he might not receive answers until he spoke with the King. 

"Is the King aware of your wishes?" he inquired. 

"Not as of yet, but I wanted to warn you first." 

"I see." 

"I can see by the look on your face that this is not what you would have hoped for." 

"My lady, I am not a bodyguard. Surely there are those who are better suited for this than I," he said. 

"You are a Knight, are you not? And your service is to the King and his Queen." 

Ren realized that any further arguing with her might come across as blatant arrogance, or blatant dislike. He bowed his head. 

"Of course, lady." 

"You will not argue, of course," she said, standing up and setting the mug aside. "It wouldn't be becoming, would it?" 

He hated how she sometimes seemed to know what was in his thoughts before he did. She was then so close he fought the desire to take a step back. Her scent assaulted his nostrils. 

"If it is what you both wish, then I must abide by your wishes." 

"You'll come to the palace tomorrow, then?" 

"Of course." 

"Thank you for the tea." 

He did not reply, instead choosing to keep his head bowed in contrition as she left his home, leaving behind only whispers of her scent. This time, he noticed, she smelled of sugar and sage. 

An hour later, a bird came with the post. It was a small handwritten note from the King. 

_Your presence is requested as soon as possible._

❂

Ren's armor had been repaired and replaced, allowing him to dress before presenting himself to the King. He had a feeling of unease that had begun sometime the following day. It had settled in his gut like a heavy stone, preventing him from having much of an appetite. He had bathed and swept his hair back away from his face, where it kept in dark waves. After he had dressed, he found himself summoned to the King's war room.

The Knights of Ren were already there, kept in silent formation by a king who's back faced them. He was distracted with something, and already dressed in travel clothes. 

"Ren, you're here," he said as he turned. 

Ren took his knee, managing around the sword that was slung around his hips. 

"My lord," Ren said. 

"Oh, do get up," Hux said, obviously in a mercurial mood. 

Ren did as he was told, rising again to his feet and standing at attention. His eyes briefly shot over to his Knights, who looked at him for just a brief moment before returning their attention to the King. 

"I'm to go to Korriban, Ren." 

Ren already knew this, obviously. 

Dealings with Korriban had always been difficult. It was his homeland, a homeland full of war and strife. His people did not care for Manaan anymore than Ren did. Firmly rooted in earth and fire, Korriban was such a halting, striking difference from Manaan. Ren had been a gift, of sorts, from his homeland as a show of goodwill between the nations. He had not been born into any status or wealth. The only real use he had was his ability with a sword and his penchant for loyalty. However, the situation had become more tense, lately. There was word that Manaan was hiding huge caches of kyber crystal in its vast waters. 

"And you're to stay here, with my wife." 

"If it is your wish, of course. I would think, however, it might be better to allow me to accompany you to Korriban." 

"I will take your knights with me." Hux motioned to them. They looked uneasy at the thought of going without their leader. 

"Why not send me in your stead?" 

"No, Ren, I believe that would be a slight when they've specifically requested to confer with me. I will be safe with your knights. Of course, I am wary of leaving you behind, but my wife has specifically requested you remain here, with her." 

"Your Highness, I am no bodyguard. Certainly, there is one more suited to that position..." Ren felt as if he were reliving the day prior. 

"You would deny my queen?" Hux seemed amused by the prospect.

Ren realized his time for argument was through, and he had not made a good one. Not good enough for Hux to consider dropping this plan and allowing Ren to accompany him, as he always had done. He had a feeling that Hux, nor Rey, had been telling him the full scope of things. Something in the back of his mind told him that the full truth had not yet come out. Why leave the leader of the Knights of Ren with his queen? There must have been some true danger in order to believe that was a good idea. It must have been danger Hux feared more on her account than for himself. 

"No," Ren said, abruptly. "I will do what you require of me, of course." 

"Good. I've already sent a group of servants back to your Island to gather your things. It won't be appropriate for you to continue staying there in your new position, of course. You're to be the head of her security, at least for a time. You'll be required here." 

_Of course._

He had only just gotten away to be pulled back once again. 

"We leave now," Hux said. "You should report to your new Master." 

_Master._

❂


	3. Beast of the Realm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I know that this is not your preference," she began. "I can't imagine you enjoy my company, so I will try not to take too much of your time." 
> 
> "You misunderstand me, your majesty." His look was so intense, Rey felt her cheeks flare red with heat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please share this!! reblog it on tumblr or recommend it to your friends. a lot of my reylo fic flies under the radar, so help me out, if you can! also, i have a twitter! follow me! it's @dark_terrible

❂

Rey was in the middle of composing a letter.

She had lost track of her thoughts and left an ink mark scrawled across the page. She had yet to realize it. Her eyes were on the blue horizon beyond, watching the boats come and go. She knew her husband would be leaving shortly, and in his wake, a tall Knight by the name of Kylo Ren would stand in his place. 

Had she been crazy in requesting him over any of the others? It was clear to her that he could barely stand to be in her presence. There were times, however...times when he seemed so very different from the dangerous black Knight that everyone made him out to be. She reached up, touching the small knick on her cheek -- thinking back to the amber color of his eyes in the dim light of her chambers. Amber in the light. Black in the dark. 

Rey believed she had made the right decision. Partially, she had been testing her husband. Would he allow his best Knight to remain with her in his absence? 

Had it been too easy to get him to agree to it? 

The thought of her husband in Korriban made her uneasy.

Rey finally looked down to the paper. She clicked her tongue when she realized she had scratched a big black line through the few sentences that she had managed to write down. She crumpled up the piece of paper and tossed it into the fire, pulling out a fresh sheet and smoothing it down. The empty, blank white stared up at her. She felt a bit mocked. 

She was in no state to write a letter. 

She was glad to hear a subtle knocking at the door, giving her an excuse to abandon the task for a time. 

"Kylo Ren, ma'am," the small serving girl said, bowing her head before ducking out of the door. 

She saw the shadow of Ren before he filled her doorway. She was a bit surprised he didn't have to duck to get into her small chambers, though perhaps he had grown in her estimation. Rey had always been struck by his presence but having seen him up close the last couple of days made her realize what a conundrum he was. Rey tried not to think of his exposed chest in the sun, even though she had fixed all of the scars he had in her brain - curiosity burning within her to know where each had come from. 

Rey stood up, smoothing her simple gray gown down at the middle before resting her hands there. Her hair was knotted back in complicated braids, out of her face excepting a few wisps that clung to her lips occasionally. He did not look at her. She found herself disappointed each time it happened, watching as he went down onto his knee and bowed his head. She could only see the top of his head, the afternoon light casting a chocolate color into the depths of his dark hair. 

"You may go," she nodded to the servant girl. She dropped into a bow before quietly exiting the room, only the latching of the door notifying Rey to her leaving. 

Rey was still looking at the Knight. 

He was fully clothed, this time. He'd had a bath. He was fully dressed in the garb of a Knight, his armor having obviously been repaired. 

"Please, rise," she said, softly. 

Rey noted the sword hanging at his hip as he rose up. She noted the gloves that covered his large hands. She thought back to watching him make her tea, an oddity that stood out in her mind. He had done it so carefully, as if he was aware of his great size, but was not made uncomfortable by it. It reminded her of the gentle way he'd rubbed the dried blood away from her cheek. Completely at odds with what she knew about him. 

She motioned to one of her parlor chairs. 

"Please, have a seat," she said, taking one herself. 

"I would stand if it suits her Majesty," he replied. 

"Ren, I should like to have a conversation with you. Please, sit." Her voice implored him. 

Rey got the distinct feeling that each time he was in a room with her, he couldn't wait to get out of it again. One of the upsides of his loyalty to the King was that he did not often argue with her. He took a seat, dwarfing the floral couch beneath him almost humorously. Rey did her best not to laugh, but she couldn't help the smile that ghosted her lips before he looked at her more directly. 

"I know that this is not your preference," she began. "I can't imagine you enjoy my company, so I will try not to take too much of your time." 

"You misunderstand me, your majesty." His look was so intense, Rey felt her cheeks flare red with heat. 

_What did he mean?_

He looked away from her first, his black gaze finding the floor. She imagined he was making quick work of counting the stones. 

"You mentioned you believed you were being followed," he finally said, drawing the conversation back to the issue at hand. 

"Yes," she said. "Therefore I believe your original chambers are too far off from mine. I've had them make up a small set of rooms that are nearby." 

Rey carefully watched his face for any shift in expression. She found herself disappointed when he did not react at all. He was not in a position to argue with her, it seemed. Or, perhaps he saw the fruitlessness of it. Hux had already left and taken his retinue along with him. Ren had nothing but to do as he had been asked to do. 

"Why do you believe you're being followed?" he asked, completely avoiding the topic of their rooms and the proximity to hers. 

"Because I am," she said. 

Rey stood up from her position, moving over to her desk. She unlocked the small drawer, with a key, and pulled out a stack of letters that had been bound together with a sheer ribbon. She came to stand in front of him, and he leaned back in the chair. He looked up at her, and their gaze connected for a brief moment before his gaze went to the letters in her hands. He took them as she handed them off. 

"These are...love letters," he said, looking up at her after he'd thumbed through them. He looked a bit confused. 

"Yes, not any I have solicited. And from the same person. And in the letters, he points out locations I have been during the day that only a small group of people would be aware of." 

"Is it possible it's one of your group?" 

"No, they've been replaced or rotated out twice now. The letters continue." 

"Anything else?" 

"I swim, in the morning," she began. "I was often alone, feeling safe with the thought that no one could know where I was. I looked up one morning and found that someone was watching, in the distance." 

"Is it possible it was merely a coincidence?" 

"Maybe the first time. But he has continued to make himself appear in other places. When I'm shopping...even here in the palace, though everyone is at a loss as to how he's gained access." 

"It wasn't the same man from the other night, was it?" 

"No, this man is younger." 

"Is the King aware of this?" 

"Yes." 

"This has been going on for months," Ren said. He was looking at the dates on the letters. "Surely I wasn't a part of his plans when it began. I was halfway across the world. Did he have other plans?" 

"This man, whoever he is, has killed one of the guards. Hux didn't want to be the cause of panic so we didn't tell anyone outright. Only a few of us know." 

"Is that why the guard was pulled from your door and you're hidden away down a secret corridor?" 

"Yes," she smiled, just a bit. 

"Why me, then?" 

_Why not?_

"Precisely because you were halfway across the world. It couldn't have been you, or any of the Knights." 

Ren's dark brow shifted down into confusion. She could tell he was trying to work through what she had told him. 

"You believe this is someone within the palace?" 

"Yes. And Hux believes...as do I, that you might be the best person for the job."

❂

Ren had moved into the chambers beside hers without complaint. They were sparse, but Rey had the feeling he wanted for very little. He probably would have felt uncomfortable in a chamber full of unnecessary add ons. In the mornings, he accompanied her to her swim. He kept his eyes on the horizon, standing black and tall against the blue mist of the morning. Of course, the man had not made himself visible since Ren had begun following her around.

He stood out, remarkably, amongst her handmaidens and the ladies of the court. He stood apart - even from the men that decorated court. They preferred pastels and furs, and Ren was always dressed in dark leather with his weapon hanging maliciously from his hip. He had scars on his face, scars that would force most men out of rotation at court. 

Rey kept to a routine to keep herself from going mad. In the mornings, she would swim. In the afternoons, if the weather permitted, she would walk the garden with the women that lived in the palace. It was in the very middle of the 'O' shape of Supremacy, large and fine and spilling with blooming flowers that enjoyed the heat of the sun. It was one such afternoon, exactly three days after Ren had taken up his post, that she found herself slowly walking beside her close friend: Kaydel Ko Connix. Kaydel drew the attention of most men, with her butter blonde hair and her various displays of decolletage. That day, she was wearing a cornflower blue silk gown that set off her eyes and the silk of her blonde hair. 

"He dampens the mood rather, doesn't he?" She asked, glancing back at the Knight that walked a few paces behind them. 

Rey was thankful he was just out of earshot. 

"Kaydel," Rey warned, lifting her hand to shield her eyes from the sun. 

"Couldn't you at least make him wear something a bit more suitable?" she asked, turning her gaze away from the tall man. 

"Then he would just be an eyesore in pastel," Rey said, smirking at her friend. 

"Ugh," Kaydel exclaimed. "You're right, he would look like a dog in clothes." 

"Surely he isn't that bad to look at." Rose chimed in. 

Rose was the daughter of Master Tico, who was an adept in the arts and sciences. She was smarter than most, and more kind than most, too. 

Rey glanced at her, following her gaze back to the tall man who followed behind them. 

_No, certainly not._

"Rose, I never realized you fancied Knights," Kaydel said, smelling blood in the water. 

"I don't," she wrapped her arms around herself, looking at Kaydel. "But there's something about his face I rather like." 

Rey knew better than to get in between Rose and Kaydel. It had always been the three of them, Rose with her kindness and Kaydel with her sharp pragmatism. Kaydel had made a meal out of most of the men in court, and Rey knew that if Rose were to show any real interest, Ren might not stand a chance against her wiles. 

The thought of it made her vaguely uncomfortable. 

"What is it?" Kaydel asked. "Is it because he looks a bit like your father's bloodhound?" 

"Maybe." Rose began to think about it. "One gets the feeling that he's rather in need of a hug." 

Rey laughed, she couldn't help it. They both looked at her. She laughed so hard that she snorted. 

"What's so funny?" Rose asked. 

"A man like Kylo Ren would never accept a hug from anyone." Rey was sure of it. 

Rose frowned, stopped in her tracks as Kaydel and Rey continued on the path. 

When Rey looked back, she unexpectedly caught Ren's gaze. He looked at her for a moment longer than he normally would have, leading her to believe that he had heard every word they had said. 

She dropped her gaze out of shame, feeling like she had when she'd been a girl and she'd teased boys who hadn't been in favor at the time. 

They made their way to the tea-room for afternoon tea. Ren continued to follow, though she felt too ashamed of herself to look back at him again. He did not join them in the open greenhouse-like structure. He remained outside, his hands clasped at his back and his eyes elsewhere. Rey was getting used to the fact that this man never looked at her - she did not like the fact that it somehow made her feel...less confident. 

She was the Queen, after all. If she chose it, she could have any man in the kingdom. Except for one, it seemed. 

Tea was served to a mass of guests that had drawn themselves into the greenhouse. Rey took a sip of her own, though it seemed rather weak after her dance with spice tea. She wondered if she should try to convince Ren to share some of his stock; and if these people would hate it or love it purely based on the fact that she was the Queen. 

"Your Highness," It was Finn, one of the artists who frequented the Palace. 

"I thought you were in the Isles," Rey said, smiling as he reached out and took her hand and brushed a slight kiss atop of her knuckles. 

"I was, but I've returned. I missed you too much, it seems." Finn smirked, taking a seat beside her. 

"If all men had tongues like you, Finn," Kaydel rolled her eyes, shoving a cake into her mouth in one fluid motion. 

"And if all women had tongues like you, Lady Ko Connix," he replied, just as sharply. 

Rey sighed. The two of them had been at odds since the previous summer. 

"I see you have a new companion," Finn said, leaning against Rey and looking through the open door at the tall figure standing just beyond. "Whose idea was that?" 

Finn finished off his tea, and, seeming unsatisfied with it, pulled a small flask from his coat. He took a small swallow from it. Rey guessed at what it contained, some sort of Isles liquor that Finn was no doubt obsessed with. 

"Mine," she replied. "Why?" 

"I can't imagine it would have been Hux's idea," he said, rolling his eyes to regard her carefully. 

"He supported me on the decision." 

"Leaving behind his best defender to tower over his wife? I think not." 

"It is rather strange, your highness," Kaydel agreed. 

"Why?" Rey asked. "He trusts the man, so he trusts him with his wife." 

Rey wished she hadn't made the comment about a third of a second after she had made it. It sent them all into fits of laughter. 

"Well, for one," Finn began as he recovered. "He's the only man from Korriban in the city, and Hux has left him behind in a venture to Korriban?" 

Rey hadn't thought about it. When she did, she realized it was rather strange. 

"Bring him in here, I wish to question him," Finn said. 

"Heavens, for what?" Rose asked, having finished her tea. 

"I would like to find out if he is as stupid as he looks." 

"Finn, you must behave." Rey began. "He's doing his job, currently." 

"So? He can do it just as well in here." 

Finn was up out of his seat, already out into the sunshine. She tried to stop him, to no avail. Rey didn't realize it had begun to shower until Finn brought the leather-clad Knight in amongst them. She could see the water droplets clinging to his dark hair like dew in the grass. He looked as awkward as he must've felt, with his hands clasped around the leather belt that held up his weapon. 

"Ser Knight," Finn presented him like a feline who had killed a bird. 

Ren gave a slight bow, his eyes moving to Rey for just a moment before his attention was drawn back to Finn. 

"How old are you, Ser Knight?" Finn asked, dumping more liquor into his tea. 

"A good deal older than you are drunk, sir," Ren replied. 

The shock in the room was evident. And then, there were a few awkward giggles. Even Finn began to laugh. 

"And how have you come into the service?" Finn asked. 

"I'm sure that's a story you have all heard in one fashion or another," Ren replied. 

"Hm," Finn began. "It seems we have a Knight who is rather avoidant." 

"My apologies, Lord," Ren gave a bow of his head. 

"What should you be expecting of him?" Kaydel chimed in. 

Rey looked at her. She found herself biting into her tongue. She knew what was coming, and she should have stopped her. 

"You have no more a brain between your ears than that bird out there, chattering away all day long." 

Kylo Ren looked at her with that near similar intense gaze he had given Rey when he had told her that she misunderstood him. It was a stare that was intense enough to unsettle anyone, and he held it for longer than was probably appropriate to draw out her discomfort. 

"I'm sure that your experience is much more expansive than mine when it comes to the appearance of brains," he began. "But certainly it requires at the very least, the same amount of effort to lift a sword as it does to push a piece of cake into ones' mouth and swallow it whole." 

He glanced at Rey. "If you have no more need of me, I'll return to my post." 

"O-of course," she stammered. 

They all watched in silence as Ren exited the building, taking with him all of the power in the room; as if his statement had sucked it all dry. 

Kaydel looked surprised, one brow arched heavenward. She glanced at Rey and began to laugh. 

They all began to laugh. 

It literally rained on their parade. Rey was thankful for it, she was uneasy with how her friends' first interaction with Ren had gone. He had stood his own ground, certainly, but she kept wondering if she should have said more to defend him. The others trickled out of the greenhouse before the rain became too insistent, leaving Rey on her own to finish off her cold tea. She swallowed the rest of it, though it tasted foul when it was cold. Foul she felt she deserved at that moment. 

Ren was still standing in the rain, his hair dark and slick with it - his cape clinging to his frame. 

Rey waited until a servant came running through the mud, kicking up great heaps of it, rain shield in hand. She had not requested it, but it had been provided anyway. She didn't put it on. She stepped out into the wet, and Ren turned in surprise when he heard her footsteps. His features were doubly surprised to find she did not put the cowl on to protect herself. She offered it to Ren. 

"I have no need of it, my lady," He admitted. He unfolded it, drawing it around her tightly. 

"You've been in the rain for an hour now," she said. 

"Yes, and I do not know how damp I have become," he stated. "You, however, have a small chance of remaining dry." 

It made her feel even worse. 

He waited for her to venture out in front of him, keeping his distance behind her, even though she was no longer walking with Rose and Kaydel. She paused, waiting for him to catch up, though he was doing his best to keep his distance. He didn't say a word, not even as they got back to the palace and her maids spirited her away to her chambers to be dried and redressed. Hot, pungent tea was provided for fear of her catching a chill, along with a warm meal. 

Rey was alone, after a time. The maids had left her, along with the doctor. They had satisfied themselves that she was not sick, but she had not satisfied herself that Ren was not sick. She told herself that she didn't need to check on him, that she was sure he was well enough. He was a Knight, after all. He had been through much worse than standing in a spring shower for an hour or so. Still, as she ran her brush through the length of her hair, she realized she wouldn't be able to sleep until she at least comforted herself with the knowledge that he wasn't dying of fever. 

Rey pulled her robe on over her nightgown and went out into the hallway. Ren's rooms were a few doors down, and she knocked. Once, twice, and then a third time. Her feet were bare and the hallway was perpetually chilly. She pressed her ear against the door and heard nothing. She tried the knob, surprised to find that it was unlocked. Rey carefully swung it open, finding Ren standing there, half dressed - his dark hair slick against his skull and slippery along his broad shoulders. 

He turned around to look at her, in the process of peeling a shirt open to pull it on over his head. He stopped and turned to look at her. If he was embarrassed, he didn't show it. He blinked a few times, surprise washing over his features as he realized that the queen was standing in his chambers, late in the evening, and they were both partially dressed. 

"I'm sorry," she quickly fumbled, holding her hand up against her eyes to prevent any further embarrassment. 

"Is everything alright, Lady?" He asked. 

"I was concerned that you had taken ill," she admitted, quickly dropping her hand to her side. 

"I am well, Lady." 

_And half dressed._

"I am glad," she said, turning around and quickly exiting his chamber. 

When the door was closed, she pressed her palm into her eyes. 

She immediately put herself to bed.

❂

It was sometime after midnight when the sound of the water put her to sleep. The rain pelted against her window in waves, sometimes coming hard and fast and other times turning into a slight drizzle that hardly made any sound at all. The light from the full moon spilled into the bedroom, casting it in a silver light that soothed her restless anxieties just a bit.

Subconsciously, she grasped her blankets more tightly around her when the air in the room grew markedly cooler. It wasn't cold enough to wake her. No, the hand clamping tightly over her mouth woke her, causing her to choke up just a bit as she struggled to get air through her partially blocked nasal passages. Her eyes shot open, just in time to feel a weight settle down on top of her. 

Rey recognized this man, and she began thrashing in a wild attempt to get him off of her. She screamed, even though the man's hand on her mouth prevented her from really being loud enough for anyone to hear her. She managed to knee the man, but it wasn't hard enough to send him flying backward. He fought against her, pushing her further into her bed, his hands wrapped around her throat. 

Her vision was beginning to blur. She caught glimpses of the room she lay in. She was sure it would be the last thing she would ever see. 

She was just conscious enough to feel the weight lifting off of her. Just conscious enough to hear sounds of a struggle, the grunts of a man who had been surprised by another party. The window was open, there was a small knife that swished and cut through the air, and then suddenly the sound of an abrupt scream as the man fell from the window, pushing back against his pursuer. 

She coughed, trying to clear her airways. When she was able to regain her breath, she was able to set herself up. Her cloudy vision became clearer, and she saw Ren leaning out of the window and looking into the depths of the water below. 

"Ren," she breathed out, her voice scratchy in her throat. 

He turned to look at her. He was quick to join her on her bed, his chilled fingertips reaching out and touching along her bruised throat. He touched either side of her face, thumb tips rested at her cheeks. He was looking into her eyes, trying to gauge how alert she was. 

"I'll call the doctor," he said, moving to stand up. 

"No, don't," she gasped out, reaching out to try and stop him from going any further. 

"Lady, you've been strangled," he pointed out. 

"I don't wish to cause alarm," she said, as firmly as she could. "Will you get me some water?" 

Her voice was still a croak, but her throat felt better after a few sips of water. 

"Did you recognize him?" she asked. 

"No, he was wearing a mask," Ren said, looking towards the window. "I think we know how he's been getting into the palace." 

"It's such a distance to scale," she pointed out. "It would be madness to try and climb the walls, in the rain." 

"It would be unless one was skilled at it." 

She wondered if he knew such people, skilled at climbing towers in the rain. She did not ask, instead opting to drink more of her water. 

"There would have been faster ways to kill you," he pointed out. The sentence made her a bit uncomfortable. 

"What do you mean?" she asked. 

"My apologies, my Queen, it's only just that strangling you might've taken minutes. Hours, if he wished it. If he came here to kill you, there were quicker ways of doing it." 

"What are you trying to point out?" 

"I am not entirely sure, myself." 

They sat in silence. Ren seemed to have a skill in regards to driving the conversation to a halt, though he didn't appear to intend to. He was thoughtful, and she wished for a moment she could read into his thoughts. She coughed again, taking another sip of water. 

"Please allow me to call the doctor," he repeated. 

"You can send the servant," she croaked. "But please, stay here, for a moment." 

Ren stood up and stuck his head out into the hallway. He was dressed, thankfully, in a loose-fitting tunic that hung around his frame and revealed a nasty scar that rested nearly on his left shoulder blade - and the scar on his face that dipped all the way down his neck. His skin looked silver in the moonlight, though she wagered hers did as well. His hair was almost blue. 

The doctor came and saw her. He provided her with some tinctures and some lozenges. She expressly told him not to speak to anyone of why he had seen her until she allowed it, which she hoped would buy some time before it spread like wildfire all over Supremacy. 

Ren remained. He had left for just a moment to put on a heavy, long coat that he wrapped tightly around himself. She realized he wasn't any less intimidating out of his armor. It was somewhat alarming. 

When the doctor had left them behind, Ren remained, as she had asked him to do. 

"I think it may be the last we see of him," she said. 

"Really? I'm not so sure." 

"Why? He fell such a long way down," she pointed out. 

"We can't be sure of that." 

She realized he might have been right. She worried at her bottom lip, unaware that she was even doing it. 

"You should rest, my lady," he pointed out, breaking the sullen silence. 

"Will you stay?" 

"If you wish it." 

"I feel I owe you an apology for today," she finally said. 

He looked at her, his face open and curious. It was the least defended she had ever seen him. 

"My friends, they're..." 

He glanced down at his hands. 

"They're sometimes difficult. I should have done more in your defense." 

"There is no need to concern yourself on my account," he began. "You don't need to make any manner of excuses on my part." 

Rey frowned, unable to help the emotion as it flickered across her features. 

"I just...they were --" 

"My lady," he stopped her. "I am used to ill-mannered courtiers." 

She did think he had heard each word she'd said, and now she felt she had confirmation of it. She had nearly been killed, and here she was, worried she had offended Kylo Ren. He had caught each arrow they had flung at him, without complaint. 

He moved away from the foot of her bed and found a couch that might accommodate his size. He wrapped his coat tightly around himself and settled down atop it, still mostly upright when he closed his eyes. Rey wondered if this was just an attempt to end the conversation where it stood. She reached out and drank the tea the doctor had left, putting one of the lozenges on her tongue. It soothed the scratched, swollen feeling in her throat, and then numbed it completely. 

She slid into her bed, pulling her covers up to her throat. 

Sleep came, but only because of the tincture that tainted the tea. 

It was fitful and full of strange dreams.

❂


	4. Taxation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No, of course not," she breathed out. "You misunderstand me." 
> 
> "My Lady, it was you who wanted me to be within earshot of your chambers," he reminded her. "If you wish, I can return to my original--" 
> 
> She interrupted him. 
> 
> "That isn't what I mean," she said, trying to call strength into her tone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rey is taxed
> 
> and share this, if you like it! (i've got a low self esteem and i need the numbers. xD)

❂

Rey woke up shortly after the light of the sunrise spilled through her window. It warmed her face, driving \ the pulsating strangeness of her dreams out of her subconscious. Her throat was sore and bruised. When she got out of bed, she touched her fingertips to her neck to find that her assailant, whoever he had been, had left behind his mark. She took a glance at her looking glass and found that it felt worse than it looked, but it would be difficult to hide without some powder and an interesting scarf.

She wondered if she might get away with not making an appearance in court at all. 

Rey was shocked from her thoughts when she heard someone shifting behind her. She turned to find that Ren was still in his spot on her couch, and had moved in his sleep. She was shocked to see he was still there, and even more shocked to remember that he had fallen asleep there hours before. He didn't look comfortable, but he was completely out. 

Rey couldn't help her curiosity. 

The floor was freezing and her feet were bare, but she didn't notice. She carefully crept closer to Kylo Ren, the Knight who had agreed to protect her. She tilted her head, examining his face. It was as peaceful as she had ever seen him look. The steady rise and fall of his chest with his breath was very nearly soothing. She thought about what Rose had said about his face. 

Rey took a deep breath of air into her lungs. She exhaled as quietly as she could, worried about rousing the Knight who was currently sprawled on her couch. Every part of him felt too large, too at odds with what she knew of the human body. His face was not exactly handsome, and sometimes alarming in its sharpness. There was a constellation of freckles and moles that the Gods had tossed across his features before they'd sent him down to the earthly realm. His hair was so black it was shocking. 

Rose was right, though. There was something about him, scars and all. 

Rey didn't know what she was thinking when she reached out and slid her cold fingertips along the bridge of his nose, and then touched the petulant curl of his lips. She didn't even touch her husband this way - and when he wrinkled up his nose and moved his face, Rey sucked in a deep breath of air and held it. She panicked until she was sure that she hadn't roused him. 

She exhaled. 

There was a knock on the door. 

Rey sucked in another deep breath of air. Whoever it was, they couldn't find Ren in her chambers. 

It was enough to wake him, and he blinked his eyes open as another louder knock sounded. He sat up quickly. She could hear his rush of breath as he inhaled, his body attempting to shake itself free of sleep. She could tell it hadn't worked, but he was alert enough to know that he should stand up. 

"Your majesty?" 

It was a small voice that crept in from behind the door. 

"Hold a moment, please," she said, more loudly than she meant to. 

_Go that way._ she mouthed, trying to hide him where he might go unnoticed. 

He looked a bit shocked; like someone had caught him with his hand in the sweets jar. 

It was difficult to hide Kylo Ren. 

Eventually, she had folded him into a closet. She quickly scrambled to straighten up the couch before she opened the door, just a crack. It was one of the servants, peering in to make sure she was well. 

"Shall I help you get dressed?" she asked. 

"No, I can manage it this morning. Will you please..." she heard a bump. "...go downstairs and have them send up breakfast?" 

"O-of course, lady. Are you well?" 

"I am well," she said, as firmly as she could manage. "Just waking up." 

"Alright, miss. I will have them send breakfast." 

The girl bowed and disappeared, and Rey took another deep breath. She shut the door behind her and turned to find Kylo Ren standing in her chambers. He hadn't remained hidden for long. She couldn't help it, she gave a gasp. 

"I apologize, lady," he said. His voice was deep and husky in the mornings. 

"I wasn't expecting you, that's all." 

"I'll go." 

"Yes, I think that's a good idea." 

She watched him glance into the hallway. When it was clear that he wouldn't be caught, he dipped out into the dark and disappeared. She thought she heard the click of his door, but she couldn't be sure. She closed her own behind her, pressing her back against the chilly wood and taking yet another deep breath. Her heart was pounding, fluttering away in her chest. Rey took a few more deep breaths, but she found it difficult to shake the feeling that someone had released a small bird in her ribcage.

❂

After she'd had breakfast, Rey found that Kylo Ren had knocked over one of her porcelain figures. She found it smashed in the middle of her study. A mistake, a casualty of war. She gathered up the pieces and put them into one of her lace handkerchiefs, hopeful that someone in the palace might be able to repair it. She powdered her neck and tied a scarf around it, still unsure if she would tell anyone about her recent brush with death. Only the Palace physician and Ren knew, and it seemed safest that it remained that way.

When she exited her room, hair tied up in curls and flowers with her gauzy scarf wrapped 'round her injured neck, Ren was already standing in the hallway. He had dressed, and in all of his tall glory looked much more imposing in the hallway with his weapons and his leathers. 

"Good morning," she said, lamely. 

He gave a bow of his head before he fell into step behind her. 

She turned to look at him, confident that no one crept along with them in the corridor. 

"How did you know?" she asked. 

"How did I know what, your highness?" 

"How did you know I was in danger?" 

He didn't appear to know how to reply to her. He ducked his head, as he often did, a sign of submission. It was only that, a sign. She knew that Kylo Ren did not really need to submit to anyone - he only did it as a means of survival. 

"I had an ill feeling when I left you after your walk in the gardens," he admitted. "I never caught sight of anyone in the gardens, but I wasn't able to sleep. I heard you trying to scream." 

"How could you have heard me screaming?" she asked, unbelieving. 

"Is there a problem with how I came to assist you, my lady?" 

"No, of course not," she breathed out. "You misunderstand me." 

"My Lady, it was you who wanted me to be within earshot of your chambers," he reminded her. "If you wish, I can return to my original--" 

She interrupted him. 

"That isn't what I mean," she said, trying to call strength into her tone. 

"What do you mean, your highness? Do you believe I had something to do with the attack?" 

She was flustered. She turned away from him, trying to hide her expression from his intrusive gaze. 

They did not have the luck of finishing the conversation. The servants became more available in a busier corridor, and Rey no longer felt safe in continuing the conversation. Kylo Ren, ever the Knight, did not push her to continue it. 

"Did you have breakfast?" she found herself asking. 

"Yes, my lady." 

Kylo Ren was unlike her husband. Hux might have been pushing her to share the information of her attack with the entire court, but she got a sick feeling in her stomach considering it. Ren was silent and stentorian, and she was unable to gain any insight into his opinion. He merely followed her, as he had been instructed to do. 

If she had offended him again, she could not tell it by the look on his face. 

Rey did not feel any less constricted when she made her way into the hall. 

"My lady," one of the servants grabbed her attention immediately, handing her a letter. "Your husband writes to you." 

"Ah, thank you," she murmured, sliding the letter into the hidden pocket of her gown. 

If Ren noticed the exchange, he didn't indicate it. He had stepped off to the side as she settled into her given seat. Hux's seat remained empty, and the hall seemed a bit empty without his boisterous, sardonic presence. Rey could not decide if she missed it or not. 

These were often the hours that Hux spent dealing with land taxes and the affairs of those within the kingdom. Rey did her best to keep alert during these sessions, but she was often excused from them to entertain herself with more appealing tasks. Hux had never expected her to reign in his absence, but it became clear that someone would have to be appointed to the task. 

Her first visitor was Snap Wrexley, one of the farmers who held a vast amount of land and was responsible for a good deal of what they ate and consumed in the palace. Recently, Ackbar had taken up the legal distribution of spice. Hux had never been too concerned with the distribution of such drugs until it had become apparent to him that he might profit from them. He had driven those unwilling to contribute to the legal selling of spice out of the kingdom and taxed those that had. Rey realized she might have been better off paying attention to their previous interactions, and found herself at a loss when he showed up. 

"My queen, I have come to inquire about the reduction of the taxes your husband has enforced on my land." 

"My lord, would it not be better to await the return of my husband?" she inquired. 

"I had hoped to, my lady, but you see...I am unable to provide for my family as it stands." 

"I am unaware of your current situation, Lord Wrexley, but I have a difficult time believing what you say. Your province is one of the most profitable in Manaan." 

"It was, yes. But the legalization of Spice has made the land dangerous, and difficult to control. And your husband has enforced a near thirty percent tax on my profits, which drains not only the coffers from the Spice but from my other ventures, as well." 

"Your other ventures, sir?" 

"Fish, and vegetation. I had applied to have the taxes reduced, nearly a year ago." 

"A year ago?" Rey asked, surprised by the revelation. 

"Yes. I come here each month with the thought that I might have a reply, but the King..." 

Wrexley must've realized he was treading on dangerous ground. He did not finish his statement. 

"I...cannot make this decision in good faith without consulting those that have been involved previously, Lord Wrexley. Will you give me leave to another month?" 

"Yes, of course, my queen." 

She watched him turn and go, feeling no better even if he had allowed her additional time. 

The rest of the morning was spent in much the same way. Occasionally, she would glance towards her bodyguard. He never seemed to move, standing tall with his gloved hands tucked into his leather belt. Rey wished, for just one moment - that some sort of expression would cross his features. 

It never did.

❂

"You cannot expect to reduce the taxes while his highness is gone, my lady," Canady, one of Hux's advisors, said.

"Why shouldn't I?" she asked. 

"Your Highness must forgive my ignorance," Phasma interjected. "But has she had many conversations with the King regarding the rate of taxation?" 

She realized she should not stammer in such an important meeting. 

"Of course I haven't," she blurted. 

"Then, perhaps," Phasma began. "It is better if my lady allows a regent to stand in her place in regards to these matters. Certainly, you are far too busy to concern yourself with them." 

Rey had the feeling she was being pandered to. 

"Certainly my husband has never shared these details with me, but he will be out of the Kingdom for some time. I believe I should be made aware of these ongoing issues concerning taxes...and any other ongoing issues." 

"My queen, that is an admirable goal." 

There was a good deal of hum-drumming and agreement on how what she wished to do was indeed, an admirable goal. Rey was waiting for a 'but', and soon, it came. 

"But--" it was Canady. "My Lord has put quite a good deal of thought into how much the landowners should be taxed, and a reduction of those taxes might send the entire kingdom into a shortage. Certainly, Ren will agree with me." 

He clapped Ren on the back. Ren regarded him with a look that was neither hostile or pleasant. Canady gave an awkward laugh before taking his seat at the table. Ren kept to his silence until the other man was sitting. 

"If the Queen wishes to have more information on the taxation rate, she should have it," Ren said. 

Rey's gaze snapped towards the Knight in surprise. He was full of them, apparently. A deathly chill seemed to settle over the entire room. It was a particular skill of his, she was finding. Ren didn't seem bothered by the fact that all eyes were turned in his direction. In fact, he seemed a bit pleased with himself - for causing such alarm. 

"Fine," Phasma said, through clenched teeth. "I will provide the queen with all of the information we have gathered." 

"I will review it, and we will meet again in two weeks," Rey said though she was unsure that Phasma would keep her word. 

"Of course, your highness," Canady said. 

The meeting was then adjourned. Rey stalled. Ren was the last one to leave the room, if only because she was the last to leave the room. She was beginning to understand why Hux was so often in a foul mood if these were the types of issues he was dealing with. She wondered at it, however. Certainly, Supremacy had gold. So then, why was her husband forcing such extraneous taxes on his subjects? Rey did not sit in on each meeting, but wouldn't his subjects spend more gold if they had more gold to spend? 

She felt as if she needed an entire pitcher of wine. A week had passed in the span of the morning. 

Where was the money going? 

Rey made her way out into the gardens. 

The rain had made the ground soft. It had also made the various flowers bloom, leaving a veritable rainbow for the viewing. The gardens were busier than they normally were, forcing Ren to make his way around large groups of people. People made way for him, whether he meant them to or not. 

"I have heard of your exploits in Tatooine," she said, loudly enough for him to hear. 

He did not reply, though she knew that he had heard her. 

"I have heard that you are quite brutal with your enemies." 

"And they are your enemies, are they not?" His voice sometimes reminded her of melting chocolate. 

"I have never met them. How would they be my enemies?" she found herself asking. 

"The sand people are a dangerous clan of insurgent warriors," he began. "If they are not your enemy, I would wonder how you have made them your allies." 

"Is each enemy of the king's your enemy?" 

She watched as Ren ripped a flower from its stem with his large, gloved hand. She had hit a nerve without meaning to. 

"Yes," he replied, flatly. 

She supposed it was a stupid question. She watched as Ren crumpled the flower in the palm of his hand. When the act was done, he opened his hand and the blood red petals began falling, fluttering towards the ground - victims only of his violence and gravity. 

"And what of those that occupy Korriban? Are they your enemies?" 

Ren looked at her, very directly, then. His eyes narrowed, black as night and near as sharp. If looks could kill. 

_Korriban runs through your blood, Kylo Ren. I can see it in your dark hair, and your dark eyes. I can see it in how you would crush those that would challenge you. But how have you come to be here?_

"My lady asks questions she does not want the answers to." 

It was Finn, and not Ren, who spoke. 

Rey turned to look at him, quickly schooling her features into a more acceptable look. Ren looked at Finn, though he quickly dipped his head in a motion of respect. Rey wondered if he really felt it, or not. She had a strange feeling that even if Kylo Ren had exhibited anger just then, he wouldn't have harmed her. Maybe it was to her detriment that she felt so, about him. 

Finn came in and pressed a kiss to her cheek. She did the same in return. 

"Would your Knight trust me with an hour or so of watchdogging?" Finn asked. 

"If My Lady wishes it," Ren replied, his eyes on the ground. 

Rey wasn't sure how she felt about an hour without Ren. Perhaps she had grown used to him more quickly than she had originally estimated. 

"Yes, of course," she finally said. "I will meet you in the hall, for dinner." 

"My Queen," he gave a deep bow in parting and left them to themselves in one of the hidden coves of the garden. 

Finn waited, watching as the Knight stalked out of the garden. Rey thought that Ren would always be at odds with it, it was a thing of such soft beauty, only to be juxtaposed with sharp angles and dark colors. 

"I thought you might be in need of a break from the black storm," Finn said, playfully. 

Rey smiled, taking his arm. She released a heavy sigh. They continued on the path, and Rey fought the urge to look back in search of Kylo Ren. 

"Perhaps you are right," she said, unable to help herself from laughing. 

"What's this I hear about taxes?" Finn asked. 

"Oh gods," she said. "Not you too. Can we talk of something else?" 

"My apologies. Should we talk of something light-hearted?" 

"Yes, please," she breathed out. 

"Kaydel is to be married," Finn said, obviously pleased with himself for sharing such a secret. 

"What?" Rey asked, unable to hold back her surprise. 

"I thought you would be more pleased than this." 

"To whom?" Rey couldn't believe it. 

"Me," Finn said, his voice soft. 

Rey didn't know how to reply, so she didn't. Perhaps she had been spending too much time with Kylo Ren, after all. She paused in their walk of the gardens, feeling very much that she needed to sit down. She and Finn had been friends for such a long time, she had never thought of him as married...much less to Kaydel Co Konnix. 

"But...why?" she found herself asking. 

"Why?" Finn asked, laughing. "Well, because I love her, and she loves me." 

Rey was so shocked she found it difficult to reply. She thought back to last summer, running through the catalog of her memories. She realized she had known something to be amiss and had ignored it. It made sense now, the sudden discord between them. She wondered if it had something to do with this, with how Finn had always been sure he would never marry -- and how Kaydel had often said much the same. 

"Rey?" he asked. 

"I'm happy for you both, of course," she said, placing her hands on either side of Finn's face. "It's just a shock, you understand." 

"It's a shock for me as well," Finn said, smiling. 

"When is the wedding?" Rey realized a tear had escaped traitorously down her cheek. 

"Her mother wishes it to be a spring wedding...and spring has very nearly passed. I requested something a bit sooner than that, but I am unsure if my pleas will be heard." 

"It's unlikely," Rey said, releasing Finn's features and wiping the renegade tear from her cheeks. 

They laughed. 

It really had been a very long day.

❂

Kylo Ren was not in the hall for dinner. He was not in the corridor. When she knocked at his door, there was no answer, forcing Rey to return to her chambers as night fell. She shut the door behind her, finding that she felt uneasy in her own room. It was as if someone had invaded it, and it was no longer home to her. She sat down heavily in front of her looking glass, taking a moment to undo the scarf she had tied around her neck that morning. The bruising was more purple than it had been, and in a few days, it would begin to turn yellow. She wiped away the powder from her face and the stain from her lips.

She remembered that she had a letter from Hux when she patted down her skirt and felt something unusual there. She pulled the letter out, recognizing his handwriting immediately. She peeled the wax seal away, watching as the letter popped open to reveal it's contents. 

It was the normal fare. He told her how strange and beautiful Korriban was, and how he missed her, and how he would return to her soon. She chewed at her thumbnail as she read it, biting down into the flesh of her thumb when she read the last passage: 

**Tell Ren that he is to keep you safe, always. Tell Ren that he must not bow to his ancestry. Tell him that you are the most precious thing to me in all of the worlds.**

Rey felt her brow crinkle. She narrowed her eyes, reading the words a few times over in the dim light. 

Even with a goblet of red wine, she was unable to settle into sleep. She kept wondering where Ren was, and why he wasn't at his post - why he wasn't in his chambers. She tossed and turned in her bed, feeling hot and itchy. She gave up on the thought of sleep after an hour of tossing and turning. She pulled a heavy robe on over her linen sleeping gown. She paced her room, barefoot - before she crept down the corridor to Ren's room. She knocked, but there was no reply. She could see no light spilling out from underneath the door. 

She wondered if he had come back under the cover of night and gone to sleep. Even so, she realized, he would've answered to her knocking. 

Rey made her way down the corridors, finding that they were eerie and empty in the fading light of the moon spilling in through the open windows. There were very few servants, though she did occasionally come across a posted guard that she snuck around, purely for conventions' sake. Without meaning to, she stalked into the kitchen. 

"Goodness, your Highness," the servant said. "What are you doing down here at this hour?" 

"I'm...hungry," she lied.

"Let me prepare you something. What would you like?" 

Rey wasn't sure how to reply. 

"Whatever you feel is easiest." 

As the woman began to hustle about the kitchen, Rey realized she wasn't hungry at all.

"Have you happened to see Lord Ren?" She asked. 

"Oh, yes, ma'am. He was here a while ago. I believe he was on his way to the arena," she replied. 

"Thank you. Please don't trouble yourself on my account." 

"It's no trouble," the woman said, pressing something warm she'd wrapped into cloth into Rey's hand. "Take this with you." 

Rey nodded and thanked her for her kindness, her mind already in the arena. She knew it was stupid to venture there alone, and she did not know what she would say to Ren if she found him there, but something carried her there anyway. 

The arena was flooded with torchlight. She heard him before she saw him, the sound of metal connecting with wood. He gave small signs of life, grunting or breathing as he drove his sword into the wooden dummy that willingly took all of his abuse. She wasn't sure it was him until she heard him curse in a language she did not know but recognized. Rey crept into the arena. She hadn't put shoes on, and the shavings of wood that coated the floor might cause a problem for her. Still, she came out into the light. 

Kylo Ren was on the defense, using the edge of his sword to assault a poor dummy into pieces. Rey could easily see why he had such a fearsome reputation. He moved quickly, and with precision - but even she could tell that there was an edge of something uncontrolled in him that night. Without noticing her, he continued on with his assault, and finally, in one swift motion, he cut the head off of the practice dummy. It went flying, landing with a hollow sound on the floor. 

Rey released an audibly surprised gasp, unable to help herself. 

Ren turned quickly, his sword pointed in her direction. When he realized who it was, he dropped the sharp tip of it down into the shaved wood with a thunk. He was covered in sweat. Rey wondered how long he had been there. His chest was heaving with exertion, and he distracted himself with pulling his gloves from his hands and tossing them aside. 

"Your Highness," he breathed out. It was the first time that he hadn't immediately taken a knee. "What are you doing here?" 

"I...could not sleep." 

Ren said nothing. He lifted his blade and slid it into its hilt. 

"You could not sleep so you walked all the way down here without shoes?" Ren asked. 

She glanced down at her bare feet, which were likely more dirty than they had been since she'd first arrived at the palace. 

"We have an agreement, do we not?" she asked, trying to distract him from her apparent lack of finesse. 

"We do, my lady," he replied. 

"And yet, you are nowhere near your chambers when I am abed." 

"My apolo--" 

She did not let him finish. 

"Please do not apologize again. Only right the action from here, forward." 

"Of course, my lady." 

Ren moved around the arena, clearing out the area that he had put to use for hours. He came to stand before her, his black eyes regarding her with some curiosity. 

"Shall I carry you, your highness?" 

"What?" she asked, incredulous. 

"Your feet," he pointed out. 

"I can walk," she insisted. 

"Shall I accompany you?" 

She had a small feeling that Kylo Ren might have been mocking her. 

"Are you finished?" 

"Yes, your highness. I'm finished."

❂


	5. A Knight for a Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "My lady, if you are to be careless with someone's life, let it be mine, and not yours."

❂

For a moment in time, Kylo Ren thought that he might be able to find peace with his new position.

Ren could not help the furious thoughts that often raced through his mind, stealing sleep from his eyes and sewing a firm crick into his neck. Why had Hux gone to Korriban without him? Why had he been left here with the sole task of watching over his queen? Ren had thought at first that her being followed might have been a ruse, but the attack in her bedchamber had left him even more unsettled. 

What ordinary stalker could scale a nearly vertical wall, in the rain? 

Ren was used to being teased. When he had been younger he had been teased for his too large ears. He had been teased for how awkward he was - and he often bore the brunt of it without much complaint. Courtiers were a brand of cruel he had never cared for, preferring instead to face cruelty head on instead of setting loose arrows at his enemies' backs and then apologizing for it later. 

And the Queens' courtiers frequently reminded him how much of an unwanted party he was. 

They made offhanded comments about his gait, his scars, and what he wore in court. Surely, as Rey had pointed out, it would be worse to see him in the clothes of a courtier. They were also a closed-off bunch. When he tried to question those around her (carefully) about anything unusual they had seen around her, they often laughed it off or deflected his questioning, making it near impossible to find out what might have really been going on. Or, if they knew anything about it. 

In short, Kylo Ren had a bad feeling about it. 

And he was having a difficult time pinning down why it all bothered him so much. 

They spent their mornings in court, with Rey trying to solve the issues of taxes and infighting without the help of her husband. Ren had not been in court in such a direct way in a long time, and he found himself wondering at her kindness when it came to the handling of these issues. 

In the afternoons, Ren followed her through her day. Sometimes she spent it in the gardens, sometimes alone in her rooms, and sometimes drifting through the Palace like a ghost. He could feel her restlessness, though she held it in very well. 

No one looked very closely at her, except for him. 

That night, she had sought him out. 

He walked behind her apace, glancing at her bare feet and the silhouette of her frame through the silken robe she had wrapped around herself. 

"You do not have to walk behind me," she turned, sparing him a brief glance. 

He did not find it necessary to speak, though he quickened his pace for a brief time just to walk in stride with her. 

"Hux has written me. He says that meetings are going well in Korriban," she paused. "I was thinking about our conversation today." 

It was a bit offhanded, her comment. 

"Which, my lady?" 

"Is it true that the enemy of the king is your enemy?" She asked. 

"I know of no other way," he admitted. 

"What if I was his enemy, too?" 

The question gave Ren pause. He clasped his hands at his back for a brief moment, hesitating as she continued to walk. It was a brief stop before he moved to catch up with her, a task that was easy for him. His stride nearly doubled her own. 

"Why should you be your husband's enemy?" he asked. 

"Nevermind," her voice was quiet. 

Ren did as he was told, and did not pursue the conversation. 

"How _did_ you become a Knight?" She asked after a few moments had passed. 

"I have no memory of any time before I was...eleven. I was here, then. I have been training steadily since that time, and when my training was complete, I was inducted into the Knighthood." 

"No memory?" She asked. 

"No," he admitted. 

"So...you don't know who your parents are, or where you come from?" 

"It's fairly obvious that I come from Korriban," he pointed out. "But as for my parents, no." 

Rey chewed at her bottom lip. She wrapped her arms more tightly around herself, fighting off a chill as they walked. Ren had taken off his cape for training and returned it to his shoulders when they had left the arena, and he unclasped it from his shoulders and draped it around her shoulders. It dwarfed her and was probably heavier than anything she normally wore. 

She glanced at him, surprised, but she didn't try to give it back to him. She drew her arms up and wrapped it more tightly around her frame. Ren watched it drag in the dust of the corridors behind her, finding it difficult not to be at least slightly amused at how large it was on her. 

"I wonder what it must be like to be you," she continued after they had walked in silence for a long moment. "Having no idea who your parents are." 

"I have never dwelled on it for too long. If my parents could not care for me, I have always thought they put me into the best situation possible." 

"You don't resent them?" 

Ren's brow pinched a bit in confusion, wondering at her line of questioning. 

"Forgive me, Kylo Ren. I only wish to know more about you." 

"Why?" 

"You are a mystery to me." 

"I haven't had much time to resent them." 

She released a thoughtful noise of concurrence. Before long, they were standing in front of her chambers. She opened the door, and Ren did his usual sweep of the area before he moved towards the door to exit and head to his own rooms - which were an offshoot of her own. He thought that perhaps they were initially meant for a servant, but Ren had no use of meretricious bedchambers. 

He turned to glance at her before he moved to leave. She reached for his hand, taking it in her own and letting it linger for longer than it should have. He watched as she slid the large cape from her shoulders and handed it back to him. He took it in hand as she released his, slinging it over his left shoulder. He was a bit thankful he was wearing gloves, unsure of how his skin might have felt against hers. 

"Goodnight, my lady," he gave a deep bow. 

"Goodnight, Ren."

❂

Ren woke that morning before the sun, some internal clock pushing him out of bed before it was necessary. On his table rested a washing bin full of hot water and that morning's breakfast. He had requested that they did not send him what the queen was having. Instead, they provided him with gruel and a strong mug of spice tea, which was suitable enough to carry him through the first part of the day.

He tried to keep to his soldierly customs as often as possible, even though thus far, this position was the cushiest he had been placed in. 

Ren trained when he could, fearful that his muscles might lose their power and memory if he allowed them to. 

When he stepped outside of his chambers, he saw a man from the post standing in the hallway. He jumped to, a letter in hand. Ren took it, flipping it over to look at the wax seal on the back. It was from one of his Knights. 

"Thank you," he said, sending the man scampering out of the hallway to continue on with his job of delivering the mail. 

Ren peeled the wax open to read the contents. It was brief, not surprisingly. 

**Ren, dealings in Korriban tense. The King has decreed you are to be responsible for gathering a troop of men to send here, but you are to remain in Manaan.**

**Ren, I have concerns. Write me back when you have time to do so, but be careful in its delivery.**

**Signed,**

**Ҝato**

It was slightly unsettling, that last line. 

Ren crumpled up the letter and burned it in his chamber before stepping back out into the corridor again. He found his way to the Queen's room, finding her just as she was shutting the door behind her. She was dressed in riding attire - wool dyed a bright red. 

"Good morning, Ren," she said, smiling brightly. "Today, I am to go riding. I don't believe I'll be needing your company." 

"It would make me more comfortable if you allowed me to accompany you." 

"There hasn't been an attack in days and I have seen neither hide nor hair of the man. I believe he is dead...and I know you likely have matters of your own need to attend to."

"My lady, my job is to protect you," he tried to counteract her decision, but he could already tell she had made up her mind. "At your behest." 

"Oh Ren," she sighed. "I will be fine on my own for one day." 

"At least permit me to know where you'll be going?" 

"We'll take a boat out into the countryside," she said. "We'll be back before the sun is down again."

"Where in the countryside? Who is accompanying you?" He pushed. 

"We'll be close to the lakes," she said. "Finn, Kaydel...Rose, and a few others. It's an entire party." 

Manaan's one true resource, the water - was beginning to take over bits of the remaining earth. They had been named 'the lakes' and were often visited for entertainment purposes - though it was just a reminder to Kylo Ren that eventually water would overtake the whole country. 

"I beg you would reconsider this." 

She paused, silent for just a moment. 

"I have, and my decision is still the same," she said, a smile still on her face. 

Ren realized he was beaten, and unless he tried to follow her against her will, she would go along with her plan without much consideration to what he was comfortable with. She brushed past him, and his face tightened up in confusion and concern. He watched her go, releasing a deep breath of air as she disappeared down the hallway. 

Ren made his way to the barracks. 

"Kylo Ren," Peavey came to greet him. He shook his hand. "What brings you here?" 

"I need your assistance in gathering a small troop," he said. "To send to the King, in Korriban." 

"Ah," Peavey said, seeming to ponder on the news. "Interesting. Well, follow me." 

He did as was requested. 

"Will you be accompanying them?" 

"No, I have specific instructions to stay in Manaan." 

"Interesting," Peavey repeated. "I must admit, I was surprised to hear of your new post...alongside the queen. It's all anyone can speak about these days." 

"I do what is needed, you're aware," Ren replied, offering a small smile. 

He had something to distract his mind, but it kept drifting back to Rey. 

It was an all-day affair that took him away from the Palace. He relaxed a little, never having been comfortable in the Palace. Now that he was forced to be there each day, he realized how much the tension settled into his body. 

When night fell and the plans were made, Ren felt confident he had done what was requested of him. For some reason, he requested that Peavey keep the information as quiet as possible. It seemed that at court, everything was done in secret. However, Ren found it comforting to be around those who were not courtiers - those who spoke and acted more directly. No matter how comforting it was, Ren could not help but think of Rey. 

On his way back to the Palace, he saw something that normally shouldn't have alerted him. It was Finn, reveling around with his fellow revelers just in front of the gate. The braziers had been lit, casting an orange glow into the ever-deepening night. Ren could see the stars, twinkling in the dark. For Finn, it looked as if it had been a night in the city, soaked through with alcohol. He looked for the Queen, but he could not catch sight of her. It wasn't alarming, at first. Perhaps she had gone back to her Chambers. 

Finn recognized Ren and was the first to draw attention to him. 

"Ah, the brave Knight!" 

Ren was forced to attend, though he could have just as easily walked away. It seemed as if Finn might have been on a hair trigger, and Ren did not wish for the interaction to become dangerous. Out of all of her courtiers, Ren seemed to know that Finn liked him the least. 

"Where is the queen?" He found himself inquiring. 

"What do you mean, where is the queen? Isn't that your job to know?" He laughed out, causing those among him to laugh. 

Ren's confusion was obvious on his features, and Finn took aim. 

"Oh, apparently not. Why do you think I would know?" 

"She said you would be accompanying her today." 

"I have not seen her since yesterday." Finn pointed out. 

Ren was silent. He realized he'd been lied to, and that the Queen had not gone out on a ride that morning. He turned to go, intent on immediately seeking her out. 

"I wonder at the King's decision to place you at her side," Finn began, loudly. "I wonder if he knows about all of the rumors that there is something more between you than just duty." 

Ren paused in his movement. He did not turn around, recognizing the thin thread of rage that pulled in his chest, threatening to snap free and release a torrent of it. He did not turn around because he did not wish to see the look on Finn's face when he made him aware of just what the entire court was so fascinated with. 

"Finn," He recognized the other voice as a woman's. "You come close to speaking treason." 

A far more reasonable response than Kylo Ren might have had. He clenched his fist and stalked away from them - in the direction of the gates. Had she even gone where she had said she had gone? Ren realized he might not have much time to think about it. He had to at least try to find her - thoughts running through his head of all manner of nefarious accidents that might have befallen her. 

He heard Finn shout: _A Knight for a Queen!_ There was more laughter, shaky and uncomfortable. 

Ren had to find a boat, he knew. He broke into a run, thinking that once he got out of the city, he would find a stable to rent a horse from. In his brain, he was calculating how far it would be, and how long it would take him. He thought that he might already be too late. 

While his mind raced out in front of him with endless, anxiety-inducing possibilities, he ignored the one sure outcome of this. If harm came to the Queen while on his watch, he would surely be expelled from the kingdom, or worse. 

Kylo Ren did not make it as far as finding a boat. He saw her striding down the long bridge that connected the Palace to the rest of the outside world. He recognized the red of her gown first, and when he sought out the shape of her features in the dark he realized it couldn't have been anyone but her. Relief flooded into his chest, a partially cooling balm over the hot rage that had sparked when Finn had pointed out what he had always feared. 

That the Kingdom talk was that they were having an affair. 

"Ren," she said, amazement evident in her tone. "What are you doing out here?" 

"I saw your friends," he said. "You lied." 

His voice was flat. He was trying to keep his anger from it, coiled tight in his gut like a snake ready to strike whatever walked into its path. Her eyes dropped to the ground beneath her boots, and after a few moments she looked up to him again beneath the shadow of her hood. 

"We shouldn't talk of this here," she said. "Meet me in my chambers."

"I don't believe that's a good idea." 

"Would you prefer we stand out here in full view of others?" 

As with so many situations in his life, he was forced to abate.

❂

She had let her hair down. It fell around her shoulders in waves as she paced, back and forth, in front of her fireplace. The light caught the golden tones in her hair. Kylo Ren forced himself to look away from it. He kept his distance, straight-backed with his arms crossed over his chest. The bottom of his cape pooled at his feet, and despite her restless energy, he remained still.

"You needn't have lied," he finally said. "I realize that it must have been of some import to do so--" 

"You don't understand," she said, exasperation in her tone. 

"You're right, lady, I do not." 

"Please, it's Rey." 

She turned to look at him. In the warm light of the room, he could see that she was flushed. Whether out of embarrassment or something else, he could not tell. Kylo Ren knew he could not call her Rey. It felt too familiar - it was a creeping ache that settled into his soul. He remained silent. 

"I have an old friend. She was my carer in the days when I was a girl. Hux forbade me from seeing her. I go once every few months, I thought I might have been doing you a kindness in not telling you." 

"At least find a better lie," he muttered. 

She stopped in her pacing and came nearer to him. Ren realized the value of standing one's ground, but Rey often felt too close. He wanted to turn away from her as he might turn away from a hot heat. 

"I am not lying," she said, her voice firm. 

"Why did you request that I be the one to take this position?" He asked, again. 

She was silent, for what seemed like a very long time. 

"You are purported to be the cruelest man in the kingdom, but I have seen no such evidence of that. You make tea as if you were handling a small, delicate animal. You are weary, like a dog that has been beaten far too many times, and you are on my side when I least expect it. When you do look at me, it's as if...it's as if--" She paused, struggling with her word choice. "Of course, it had to be you." 

For a moment it was as if he'd been kicked in the chest by a large horse. 

"Please, say something." 

"My lady, if you are to be careless with someone's life, let it be mine, and not yours." 

She looked stunned, herself. 

"If you wish me to be in this position, to the detriment of my reputation and yours, then you must at least trust me with your protection. Lying to me about your whereabouts directly works against my instructions to keep you safe." 

"Oh," she murmured, looking down to the ground again. 

She looked disappointed. 

"I apologize," she finally said. "I believe I thought the less you knew, the better off you would be. I did not know how to explain your presence to my friend. I believe you think me a fool, now." 

Her cheeks were bright pink. 

"Are you warm, lady?" he asked, his voice softer than he meant it to be. 

"I am...flustered, forgive me." 

Ren kept his eyes on her face. In the low lighting, her eyes flashed and sparkled, the golden light of the fire making them appear more gold than they were. 

"What did you mean, when you said...to the detriment of my reputation and yours?" 

She took another step closer. Rey's height fell near to the middle of his chest. He had to look down at her, and he found himself looking at her mouth. He backed up against the door, slowly. He realized he might offend her if he moved too suddenly. 

"I spoke with your friend, Finn." 

"What did he say?" 

"There is talk..." he began. "That I was placed in this position because we are more to each other than..." he didn't know how to finish. 

"I...see," she swallowed. 

"You have not heard?" 

"No." 

She was lost in her thoughts for a long few moments. Her eyes were unfocused and directed away from him. 

"Shall I...release you from your post?" 

The question surprised Ren. Had he done something to displease her? 

"Is that what you want?" 

She took another step to him. There was barely air to breathe between them now. She looked up at him, her eyes clearer now. Ren's eyes flickered down, his mouth drawn in a tight line. He wanted to get free of the feeling that blossomed in his chest. Every muscle in his body tensed. He felt as if he wanted to go in all directions at once. 

_You cannot feel these things._

"No," she whispered. 

_Not with your Queen._

He reached out, grasping her arms with his hands. It seemed to wake her up, forcing her to look at his hands as he kept a firm hold on her. 

"If there is nothing else, my Queen," he said, so softly only she would have been able to hear it. A reminder to them both, of his position and hers. 

She took a quick step back as if he had shocked her. He immediately felt sorry that he had grasped her, that he had harmed her feelings as he knew he likely had. He dropped his arms down to his sides, his hands flexing into tightly balled fists. 

She gave a brief nod of her head, pulling her bottom lip into her mouth beneath her teeth. 

Ren turned around abruptly and exited her chamber. It was a struggle not to turn the knob and go right back in again.

❂


	6. New Suit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I do not wish to see him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i did some thought about whether or not this chapter is boring but   
> here it issssss
> 
> finn is a bit of a rake in this, but i kinda like it.

❂

Kylo Ren did not sleep well that night.

His body felt unlike his own, out of his control. He had bathed with what remained of the ice cold water, and it had helped to settle his raging nerves just a bit. He did not like the tinctures the doctors gave to help with sleep but after three hours of tossing and turning he would have been thankful for it. When he did finally fall into sleep it was a restless one, full of ominous and familiar shadows that would dissipate - forgotten - in the morning. 

He overslept and was woken with the sound of knocking on his door. 

Rolling out of bed with a slight groan, he opened the door to his chamber just enough to see who was on the other side. He was sure he exemplified the term 'beast', with his dark hair tousled around his features and his eyes fixed into a sleepy squint. 

The servant standing on the other side was clearly taken aback by his appearance. She leaned backward, though he had to give her credit for not turning and running away. 

"The Queen wishes me to tell you that she will remain abed, this morning. She is not well." 

"Thank you," Ren's voice was a rumble, and he quickly shut the door in her face. 

More for her benefit than for his, he supposed. 

Ren was concerned for Rey, but he got the distinct impression that she might not have been well because of what had passed between them the night before. He got dressed and had bread and tea for breakfast. When he dressed, he was mindful of the fact that he would not be out of doors - and instead posted by her door. 

The doctors came and went. He heard them speaking in hushed tones, but often he only caught bits and pieces of the conversation. He did not try to ask the doctors what the prognosis was. He doubted that they would tell him. 

About halfway through the day when the light was brightest, even in her dark corridor, Ren saw a familiar face. It was the woman called 'Rose', the woman who had been kinder to him than any of Rey's courtiers. 

"Ren," she said, surprise obvious in her tone. "Does the Queen know you are here?" 

"I don't believe so, lady," He gave a deep bow before returning into his straight-backed position against the wall. 

"Is she well?" 

"The doctors have come and gone but none have spoken with me." 

Rose nodded, her face pinched with worry. Ren wondered if this was more than just a day in bed. He stepped aside and watched as Rose rapped her knuckles on the door. 

"Rey, it's me," Rose tried, as quietly as she could. 

After a few long moments, the door opened. Ren did not see the Queen, and their interaction was brief before she allowed her friend to pass through the door. It shut behind her, leaving him once again alone in the corridor. 

Before long, Ren realized that their voices were no longer so hushed that he could not hear them. Without meaning to, he caught snippets of their conversation. 

"Did you know that your Knight is standing out there?" Rose asked. 

"My knight? Yes. The doctor told me." 

"Do you plan to let him stand there all day?" 

"I do not wish to see him." 

Ren could not hear the conversation after she had spoken those words. Ren had taken an arrow to his shoulder, once. The feeling was something akin to this. Ren let his head drop back against the stone of the corridor. Finally, feeling as if he had overstepped his bounds, he stalked his way out of the hall. 

There was always training to be done. 

Ren fought to forget. He thought that if he exhausted his body enough, his mind would be clearer - less full of fog and cobwebs. He was in the arena all night, well past sundown. No one came to seek him out, but he was thankful for the moment of solitude and silence. By the time the sun had fallen, he was exhausted enough to consider returning to his room. He paused at the Queen's door but heard nothing. There were no longer any doctors bustling back and forth. 

Perhaps she had gone to bed. 

Ren found he could only think to do much the same. An entire day had passed and he had not seen her face. He felt less restless, but somehow unsatisfied, even if he did fall asleep right away.

❂

The next few days passed in much the same way. The end of the week came and went, and Ren still had not seen the Queen. Only a few of her closest confidants had been permitted into the room, that and the doctors that came to see to her health. Ren stood in front of her door each morning. It had become a habit to do so, and eventually, one of the doctors paused and told him that he was free to entertain himself. The queen was not physically unwell and would be up and about in a few days.

By then, news of Finn and Kaydel's engagement had broken across the kingdom, prompting gossip to turn (blissfully), in another direction. 

Ren trained, most days, sending himself into exhaustion by the end of the day just so that he could sleep. That day, the arena was being used for scheduled fighting, Hux's attempt to legalize some form of gambling within the kingdom, though there were much more lucrative ways to fight in the city. Ren had dressed in plainclothes and slipped out of Supremacy, finding he wanted to disappear into the city for the day, and perhaps the night. 

It was difficult for Ren to disappear completely. His height often gave him away immediately, prompting him to hunch underneath a heavy cloak in an attempt to keep himself from being recognized. He kept his face out of view, though many seemed to intrinsically know that it was him - moving out of his path when he made his way out into the city night. 

Ren passed the docks, ignoring the smell of urine intermingled with far more nefarious things. The air became fresher as he broke away from the docks, though it was brief. It was stale in the city, but it was something he quickly grew used to. He was simply happy to be out of the Palace, and for a moment he could pretend that he was anyone but Kylo Ren. 

He found one of his favorite taverns. Though he didn't drink much, there was something about the previous week that made him want to drink. He stopped at the bar and ordered ale and found a quiet corner of the bar to sit in. The night passed fairly quietly, up until close to midnight, when a rowdy group of men entered the bar. Ren had the misfortune of recognizing Finn, almost immediately. He pulled back into his dark corner, lifting his hood over his face so that it hung and created more of a shadow. He didn't want to have another run-in with the man. 

It became apparent that he might have to step in when their sharp, loud voices rang out over the rest of the crowd. Kylo Ren knew he didn't have to step in until he caught the flash of dangerous, sharp blades that Finn himself didn't seem to be aware of. He stood up from his chosen spot and made his way to the scuffle, looming over the group of them like death come to call. 

The man with the knife was the first man to attack, slashing out at Finn - who was still alert enough to dodge the blade attack. Ren could see by the way the man held the knife that he was no skilled fighter. It was something he had probably picked up when he'd been thirteen years old and had never really taken the time to actually learn. Ren stepped in his way, using the surprise attack to trip the man, sending him sprawling across the barroom floor. 

"Oi, take it outside!" The barkeep shouted. 

The men ignored him. They were flinging themselves at the large knight with renewed intensity. Ren shook them off, but Finn - whether because of alcohol or rage - continued egging the men on. Ren finally grabbed him by his collar and hauled him off out into the dusty streets. Finn turned his rage on Ren, unaware of who he had directed his fury at. Ren managed to dodge most of his blows, and when Finn wrangled free of him, he scrambled back in the dust. 

"Who in the hell are you?" He shouted. 

Ren pulled his hood back. Finn looked shocked, then irritated, and then as if the wind had left his sails. 

"Gods, I can't get free of you." 

"I feel much the same about you, friend," Ren replied. Perhaps the ale had loosened his tongue. 

"Friend," Finn scoffed. "Hah!" 

"You must have a death wish to pick a fight, unarmed, in a tavern full of armed men." 

"I would have been fine. It's no business of yours." 

"If it's business of the Queen, surely it's business of mine." Ren began. "And I believe she would be sorry to see you come to bodily harm." 

"Ha," Finn said again. "If you care so much for her concerns, why are you here?" 

Ren narrowed his eyes and kept silent, unwilling to provide any more fodder. He unlatched the knife that hung at his side, tossing it down into the dust in front of Finn. It was perhaps all he could do for the man if he insisted on picking fights. 

Ren gave a bow that was somewhat facetious before he pulled his hood up over his dark hair and left the area, intent on returning to the Palace and sneaking his way back in. It was long past the time that the guards would willingly allow him back in. He realized that Finn was following him, almost immediately. The man caught up with him, Ren's blade in hand. 

"I don't need this," he said, trying to hand it back to the Knight. 

"You do," Ren replied, flatly. 

"Why are you out here?" Finn asked, forgetting his quest to return the blade. 

"I came for a drink." 

"And?" 

"The Queen doesn't wish to see me. I believe she is thinking of returning me to my original post." 

Ren did not know why he told the truth. Perhaps he knew Finn would continue to chase it even if he lied. Instead of looking pleased, however, Finn looked distraught. 

"She's scared," Finn said. 

Ren stopped, looking at the man who was in stride with him. It was the most he had gotten out of any of the people that swirled around her constantly. 

"Scared?" Ren asked. 

"Of something. I don't know what." 

Ren continued on his path back to the Palace. He did not know if Finn was going to follow him the entire way. 

"You can't leave her." 

Ren was shocked for the second time that evening by something Finn had said to him. He turned to look at him, wondering at it. Finn had been clear about how he had felt from the beginning about Ren's presence, and now he was telling him he couldn't leave her. 

"Why not?" Ren finally asked. 

"You're in a unique position to protect her, Kylo Ren." 

Finn handed the blade back to him once they got in view of the Palace. 

"Thank you. Next time I get into a tavern brawl, I'll bring my own knife." 

Ren took the blade back, glancing at the man curiously. He narrowed his eyes just a bit in confusion at his apparent kindness. 

"Don't look so suspect, Ren. We're not all bad."

❂

Preparations had begun for Finn's wedding. It wasn't to be at the Palace, but in the Isles, where most of Finn's family resided. Ren hadn't gotten much instruction from his apparent 'Master' and had spent much of his time in the last weeks training and trying to find ways to occupy his time and his mind.

Kylo Ren had never had time to read in his life, but he found himself in the library more often than not in an attempt to avoid the Queen. He could feel the distance growing between them in leaps and bounds, a distance he did not know if he could ever traverse again. 

He did not even know if she would request his presence at the wedding. 

The library in the Supremacy was huge, much like the rest of the palace. There were books in languages Ren didn't even know of and there were many stories consisting of spines and spines of documents and manuscripts. Mostly, Ren had the place to himself, though there were times when it was busy. There was an attendant whose job it was to make sure the books were well looked after, and she had come to recognize him. She was wary at first, but little by little she seemed less perturbed by his presence. 

He found his way down into the quiet depths of the library, sliding a book he'd been working through in the last few days out of its place. He realized after some time that he was not alone, and turned to find the Queen standing behind him. She didn't look ill, her dark hair curled through with blossoms that had likely been found in the gardens. She was wearing a rosy pink gown that cinched in at her waist and came out into a full skirt that resembled a flower itself. 

Her skin was clear and her color was good. 

He found himself taking a sharp breath. He nearly lost sight of what protocol was. He quickly slid the book back into its place and dropped into a bow. She took a few steps closer to him, looking down at him before she gave him instruction that he should stand. He did as he was bid, though he was having a difficult time looking directly at her. 

"Kylo Ren," she said, her voice quiet but firm. "I have not seen you in quite some time." 

"Yes, your highness. Are you well?" 

"Yes, I am. I'm sorry to give you concern." 

Ren did not know how to respond, and he swallowed. His eyes were still on the ground. He kept hearing what she had repeated - that she did not wish to see him any longer. 

Of course, she shouldn't want to see him. He had offended her, he was sure. 

"I'm sure you've already heard about Finn marrying Kaydel Ko Connix," she began. "I am to accompany them to the Isles to take part in the festivities." 

"Of course, your highness." 

She cleared her throat. 

"You will accompany me, of course." 

It was not what he had been expecting, but he gave an astute nod of his head. 

"You cannot go like that, however." 

She motioned to his attire. He glanced down at his attire, which was the usual attire of a knight in the kingdom. He thought of what Finn had told him the night that they'd met in the tavern: _We're not all bad._ He wondered if the man had something to do with it. 

"This is how a Knight should dress," he said, though the argument sounded flat, even to him. 

"Yes, but if you're to accompany me, you can't stick out quite so much." 

"It is my position, of course, I should wear my armor," he said, again. 

He heard Rey sigh. She was exasperated with him. Perhaps she was expecting that he would argue the point. 

"I understand," she said. "And you will be allowed to dress as you please during the journey, but you should have some formal clothes to wear at the wedding." 

"Fine," he said, realizing that he agreed far too easily when it came to the Queen. 

"Good," she smiled as she spoke, pleased with herself. "We leave in a few days. I have a tailor coming to dress you tomorrow." 

"Of course." 

He realized he was to accept his fate. 

The tailor did come. It was a struggle. There was a good deal of commentary about how large he was, and how uncooperative he was. Ren did not try to be uncooperative, but the third or fourth time the man poked him with a needle he began to anticipate it. The tailor was just as exasperated as he was by the time he had been completely fitted, but it got done. 

Ren was not generally a fan of court clothing, but he managed to keep the tailor from going too overboard. It would be a few simple suits, though he surely doubted their ability to make him blend effortlessly with a group of drunk courtiers.

❂

Of course, it was raining the day of their departure. Ren should have begun betting gold on it. They were to take a boat much of the way, and Ren was displeased to see that it was a fleet of pleasure boats. Literal floating ducks.

Ren wore his armor and his weapon. Rey had agreed that he could wear what he liked during the journey. He pulled his cloak up and over his head, though many of the party would be forced underneath the canopies that decorated the boats to avoid the rain. The general mood was a sour one, likely brought on by too much festivity the night prior. Only the Queen seemed fresh-faced and alert. 

Ren moved to accompany her, though he was redirected to the one utility barge that housed luggage and servants that had been deemed important enough to bring along on the journey. Ren stayed out in the rain, a silent figure that seemed to cast more of a damper over the party as a whole. He kept his eye on Rey as often as he might, though she was in and out and sometimes he lost sight of her. 

The journey was mostly a miserable one. The rain only broke once in the middle of the day, and it was then decided that they would stop at the banks and enjoy a 'light lunch'. 

Ren assisted in helping the boats ashore, watching as courtiers dressed in clothing that resembled pastries floated ashore and settled onto blankets that the servants spread out. It was far more than a light lunch with a spread that would've put most other lunches to shame. Finn ate heartily and drank more than a few glasses of light, summer wine, gathering more of his boisterous energy as he did so. Kaydel had gone ahead of the group, meaning that the only other faces he really recognized were Rose and Rey's. 

She ate a few bites and stood up for the blanket. They called back and forth to each other before Rey began to move down the shore. She did not glance back at him as he began to follow. Ren was uneasy. There were so many unknowns out in nature, and her breaking off from the group only made it more likely that something tragic might happen. 

Ren had gotten used to seeing the back of her. He had gotten used to the fall of her hair when she left it down, sliding down the direct middle of her back, in between her shoulder blades. He had gotten used to the constellation of freckles on the back of her neck when it was tied up and away. He would have recognized her anywhere, as he was quickly growing accustomed to being able to pick her out of a crowd. Of course, she was the first thing he looked for each time he saw her. However, since the night in her chambers, he was often aware of how she seemed to be moving away from him. 

She did not ask him questions about himself any longer, and she rarely looked back to offer a smile of encouragement as she once had. 

Ren's mind often drifted back to her disappointed expression the night that he had brought up their reputations. 

Someone called her name, and she turned abruptly to the source of the noise. Ren stepped out of her way, and she brushed past him without looking at him. 

Nothing tragic had happened. 

The rain returned in all of its full glory, soaking the food that got left behind and causing the servants to rush into a flurried panic to rescue what they could. 

The rest of the journey went smoothly and without much to remark on. 

By the time they reached the Isles, it was clear that there were celebrations on the way. There were tents set up, full of glittering glass and multiple liquids designed to make a person delirious and giddy. It was all white, set up to stand out against the verdant green of the place. It continued to rain, but as they got further into the area the more humid it became. 

Ren had forgotten how wet the Isles really was, considering how Manaan managed to maintain more of its dry air. The manse was sprawling, certainly different from his own, though not near as large as the Palace. It was the perfect place to have a wedding, with its open windows and its effortless luxury. Ren hated it, almost immediately. 

It was chaos as the party descended. Ren watched as Kaydel came out to welcome her to-be husband, and he kissed her in full view of the entire party. Ren wondered at the showmanship of a wedding. He was directed into a servants quarters and given a small room with a straw bed and a table that had a water basin atop it. He had lost track of Rey without meaning to, though he was sure they would be ferreted into the many rooms that had been opened just for this event. 

Ren felt lost. This was just the sort of thing he was not only totally out of place in, but totally uncomfortable in. 

He rinsed with the cold water left behind as best as he could manage. He dressed in one of the suits provided to him. The clothes were certainly finer than anything he'd ever worn, from the soft linen to the hand-stitched breeches. They were largely black, except for the white linen that was visible underneath a black doublet. He put a pair of leather gloves on and hid a knife in his boot since wandering out into the party with a sword at his hip might have been received poorly. 

He went through the hallways, inquiring where the festivities were. The servants pointed him in different directions, but he eventually found a face he recognized: Rose's. 

"Have you seen the Queen, my lady?" 

"No, I haven't, not in a while. Finn is through there. He might know where she is." 

"You look well, Ren," Rose said. "It suits you." 

Ren gave a nod of his head, unsure of how to accept the compliment. 

He moved through into the courtyard. It was full of party-goers, flying high on the bubbly summer wine that seemed to be flowing freely. His eyes scouted for the Queen, but he saw no sign of her. Finn was holding court in the middle of the area, a gathering of people around him. He was laughing and jovial, though Ren did not recognize any of the faces around him as Rey's. Ren stalked through the courtyard in his direction. 

"I hardly recognized you in those clothes," Finn said, loudly. 

"Have you seen the Queen recently?" 

"You really are a very bad bodyguard," Finn said. "The last time I saw her she was headed into the gardens." 

Ren ignored him followed the path that was pointed out to him. When he came upon a clearing, he spotted her. He did not realize, at first, that she was with someone else. His senses were on alert, but he realized that she was not in true danger. She was speaking with Kaydel. 

Kaydel recognized him before he had a chance to duck into the brush, which was perhaps a good thing. He did not know how much more eavesdropping he might get away with. 

"Your Knight arrives," Kaydel said, motioning to him. 

Ren had the feeling he'd come upon a serious conversation, but it was too late for him to try and make amends. They had stopped talking. Rey looked at him, her eyes lidded as she tried to turn her eyes to the ground. He wondered if his new attire was really that astonishing. 

"Will you be joining the festivities?" Kaydel asked as they slowly made their way to them. 

"No, Lady Ko Connix," he gave her a deep bow. 

"You can dress him up..." she said, patting his arm and walking past him back into the main area of the courtyard. She smiled as she went. 

"It suits you," Rey echoed Rose's sentiments, smiling as she examined the new set of clothes. "How do you like it?" 

"If you like it, I like it, your majesty." 

"Hm," she said. "Will you drop the act of the Knight and tell me how you really feel about it?" 

"I'm uncomfortable," he said, honestly. 

She laughed. 

He could not help but smile.

❂


	7. Coals and Weddings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I can't leave them behind," she said, her voice sounding so small, even to her. 
> 
> "Rey, it's suicide."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rey is all of us in this chapter. #thethirst #bigmood
> 
> also, thought i'd get this up before i allow yakuza 0 to take over my life byeeeee

❂

It rained on the day of the wedding. Rey felt far away, knowing that her bodyguard was across the house and far out of the way. Finn had been insistent on it, Kaydel had made it clear that she wanted him lurking around as little as possible. It had been Kaydel that had insisted that he dress like a civilian, at least during the festivities.

Rey woke up before the sun and saw a fine gray mist outside of her window. The rooms were pristine white and cream, opening out into the green of nature. She opened the door style windows and felt the spray of the rain come in on the wind, damping her nightgown and causing her to shiver, just a bit. It was the perfect wake up call, a splash of cold water that made her feel a bit less like she was dreaming. 

Rey had her breakfast, an Isles specialty that consisted of pig belly and large eggs. It was something she might have passed on, choosing instead to eat the eggs and leave much of the crispy meat behind. The handmaidens came in afterward. Poking, pulling and prodding, they molded her into some beautiful version of the queen that wouldn't outshine the bride - and Rey happened to know she was wearing a beaded gown that had cost half of the aisle and half of a year to make. 

It might take half a year to get her into it. 

The conundrum of the dress was; how long had they been planning to marry? 

Rey was forced into a gown that was mint green in color, which had some of the beadings that Kaydel's had but not nearly as much. Her hair was pulled back from her temples, swept into a contrite and somewhat severe bun. The maids tucked little silver flowers that were native to the island into it, giving the hairstyle less of an austere appearance. They gave her a bit of face paint, pink and blooming, but nothing too stand out. 

It was not something that Rey might have chosen for herself, but it was not her wedding day. 

It brought to mind her own wedding day. She tried not to think of it, but it was difficult not to with all of the general merriment that went on around her. Rey had been fearful the day she had been married. She had seen her husband all of once and was only reassured that he was kind simply because he was to be the King of the region. 

She was most fearful of what would happen at night when the celebrations were over. She had been told, in no short terms, that she was to allow him to do what he wished with her. 

It never happened. 

They had been married now for five years, and the only attention Hux had really ever paid to her was a chaste peck on the cheek on birthdays. 

She thought of what Kaydel had said to her in the grove, the night before. 

_People talk, you know._

Kaydel was always the first to remind her that her life was under such intense scrutiny that even she could not guess at what rumor might be flying around next. Although Kaydel was not always the warmest person, Rey and Finn had been friends for a long time. Rey couldn't help but feel she was losing something in the interim of all this. 

She would hardly see them any longer unless she opted to visit the Isles, which often seemed like an insurmountable task. Even this had taken some wrangling, though had only been agreed to because of a list of tasks needed to be completed to make Ren more presentable. At first, it seemed as if she wouldn't be allowed to bring him along, especially on Kaydel's part. It was Finn who had convinced her otherwise. 

Rey was forced to catch her breath when she caught sight of Ren that rainy morning. His hair had been artfully styled away from his face. It was clean, shining like a raven's wing. She wondered what it might feel like to run her fingers through it. He was dressed in a pair of well-tailored breeches, a white tunic lined with silver thread and a leather vest that had been pulled over the tunic. His boots were black leather, and on his hands were a pair of expensive looking leather gloves. He still looked like a Knight. She thought it would be impossible to shake, but he looked less intimidating, to say the least. 

_And handsome._

"My lady," he gave her a bow, but she could tell he was not feeling any more comfortable than he had the night before. "Good morning." 

"Good morning." 

They were due at preliminary celebrations, celebrations for the celebrations, and it felt like it had already been quite a long day before the time for the wedding was upon them. Ren was not allowed behind closed doors, but each time she was forced to flutter down a hallway with a gaggle of bridesmaids, she caught him out of the corner of her eye, standing still and solid like a statue. 

She had gotten used to looking for him, and could not help the small flutter of uncertainty in her chest when she could not find him right away. 

This day, however, he was always at her back and always within view, unless she was closeted away somewhere for toasts that were meant only for the women of the party. Even then, she found her thoughts drifting to him. 

_The strange quality of the look in his eyes. The firm grasp he had on her shoulders. As if to say, wake up, wake up, this way is certainly madness._

She could not help but think it was her he did not want. It was his job, after all, to keep her safe. Surely there was only the feeling of duty there. 

But sometimes...sometimes when he looked at her she wasn't so certain. 

There was much talk about how disruptive the rain was. There was some talk that the wedding would be postponed, but Kaydel would not hear of it. Her mother comforted her that rain on your wedding day was actually a sign of good fortune, even if it did not feel that way. In the end, it was decided that the show must go on. Rey was forced to pull on a heavy green shawl embroidered with vibrant green thread and make her way out to the pavilion under the cover of an umbrella. Kylo Ren was already there, blissfully still dry and standing at the back of the tent. 

He gave her a nod of his head: _I see you._

It was difficult not to keep looking at him. He was the only one wearing black within the entire party. 

The ceremony was too long, delayed as it was with the weather. Rey felt vaguely light headed with all of the pink, bubbly summer wine she had already ingested, and wished she could lay down for a brief nap. Kaydel and Finn said the words and gave their vows, and in view of everyone, were married. It was met with thunderous applause and general merriment and one of the party shouted: about damn time! 

And then, the party that everyone had surely been waiting for started in earnest.

❂

"How come you're not yet with child?" Kaydel's mother asked, already half soaked through with wine.

"Mother," Kaydel warned, under her breath. 

Rey glanced down at her hands, trying to stop herself from wringing them. 

"Surely he must have tried and failed a few times now. He will be looking for an heir to his throne." 

"Mother, _please,_ " Kaydel tried, again. "Do not forget your place." 

"Oh well," her mother said, already having fixated on sinking her talons into someone else. 

"I'm sorry, your majesty," Kaydel said. "She's been sampling the summer wines for the better part of the day." 

"It's alright, Kaydel. If you'll excuse me." 

"Rey," she tried, though Rey pretended not to hear her and continued on her way out of the pavilion. 

The rain had dwindled down to an occasional shower, though everything was soaked through. She could feel the humidity in the air, hanging off of everything like a wanton lover. It would get colder as the night grew older, Rey could already tell. She stopped at a table full of treats, which was already growing waxy and strange with being sat there all night and grabbed a glass of the bubbly wine that everyone seemed to be sampling. She took a few swallows of it, disappointed that it didn't immediately alleviate her feeling of dread. 

It was a wedding, she was sure she should have felt more jovial. 

She swallowed the rest of the wine, finding out rather quickly why everyone enjoyed it so much. It went right to her head. 

She tramped down into the grove, uncaring that her expensive slippers were likely to be covered in mud that she would have to explain away in the morning. She had borrowed them from Kaydel, and they were a bit too big for her, and somewhere along the way she lost not one, but both of them. Rey wished she had taken more than one glass of the wine, but she began to feel incredibly sleepy. 

Rey realized she was being followed, somewhere along the way. She took a wobbly seat at one of the fountains, one that was obviously poorly maintained. Rey could see the overfill from the rain and black algae spreading its spindly fingers across the porous stone. She knew she should have been more concerned about being followed, but she realized fairly quickly that it was her Dark Knight and no one that might mean to do her harm. 

"Are you well?" He asked, leaning down to try and look into her features. 

"I feel a bit light-headed," she admitted, reaching out to put her hands on his broad shoulders. 

She felt his hands grasp the small of her waist. He was strong, and she was surprised when she was suddenly on her feet. Rey could not have realized how drunk she was, even after just one glass of wine. Why was she so tired? 

"I wish I were just a girl, Kylo Ren," she said, her fingertips moving of their own accord to peel back the collar of his shirt. 

"Why, your Majesty?" 

"Because then I might see what's beneath your armor," she murmured, unable to help the giggle that bubbled up from her throat. 

Kylo Ren looked a bit shocked, and then a bit suspect. 

"My lady, have you been drinking?" 

"Only one glass," she said, with more of a petulant tone than she meant to. 

Kylo Ren was examining her with a strange ferocity as if something was amiss with how she was acting. 

"I think we had better get you into bed," he said. 

"Mine, or yours?" 

"Your Highness," he said, his voice quiet and firm. 

She didn't know, what, exactly had come over her. 

"I'm sorry," she said, her cheeks aflame. 

"You needn't be sorry," he said. "I'm concerned for your well-being. It's unusual to have this type of reaction to one glass of summer wine." 

"I'm just part of your duty, aren't I?" She slurred. Her head was spinning. 

She stumbled and Kylo Ren caught her. She realized that this might have been more than the summer wine in some small part of her brain, but she felt as if she was spinning in a whirlpool and it quickly left her. She was having trouble walking, but she found the ground taken out from underneath her as the Knight bent down and lifted her up. 

The world slipped out from underneath her, too. Everything was suddenly black. 

When she woke up again, it was to one of the worst headaches she'd ever experienced in her life. Her temples throbbed and her mouth was so dry she was sure she had been dreaming of drinking a cold glass of water. She was laid on a hard surface, a far cry from the bed she had been given amongst the manse. The ground was so solid that her shoulder was digging into it, causing a fierce ache that she needed to alleviate immediately. 

She shifted onto her back with a groan. The movement felt more difficult than it should have. 

What was she doing, lying on the cold ground, when the last thing she recalled was Kylo Ren carrying her back to her bedroom? 

She put her hand against the cold earth and pushed herself into an upright position. There was someone suddenly beside her, and she recognized his silhouette before she even opened her eyes completely. He was handing her a canteen. 

"Water, your majesty," he said, his voice just barely above a whisper. 

Rey did not get a chance to fully inquire as to why she was on the cold, hard ground. She willingly accepted the water, noticing that somewhere along the line Kylo Ren had gathered his sword and what he could of her belongings. She stood up, still wobbly. He was behind her, helping to steady her as she turned her eyes on the horizon. 

It was burning bright, a smattering of reds and oranges. Rey thought she could feel the heat of it. She sucked in an audible breath of air and did not release it for a few long moments. She thought she was still dreaming, and this was merely a nightmare fugue state she would slip out of it she tried hard enough. Rey closed her eyes and then opened them again. The roaring blaze that ate away at what was left of the manse continued on. 

After a long time, she turned away from it. Kylo Ren looked as if he had lived a few lifetimes in the time that she had been asleep. His hair was no longer perfectly styled, but damp with rain and sweat and hanging around his face. He was smudged with ashes and blood, and when she looked down at herself she realized that she was, as well. She was shivering, almost to the point of her teeth chattering. 

The damp, cold night had turned bloodcurdling. 

"What's going on--" she barely had a chance to get it out before Ren's hand clamped down over her mouth, effectively silencing her. He used the strength of his body to yank her out of the light and into the shadows, and though she did not fight him, she struggled a bit in his grasp. 

When he took his hand away from her mouth, she took a deep breath of air as quietly as she could manage. It was then that she heard footsteps, trampling through the brush. There were voices, shouting at each other. She pushed the thought from her head that she recognized some of them. 

"We don't have all night to roam around in this fucking bush," One man said. 

"I saw them come this way." 

"That damn Knight, why did the King allow it?" 

"Shut up and keep looking," the other finished. 

Rey held her breath until she heard them trample off in another direction. Ren let her go, and she carefully scrambled away from him, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. 

"We have to get out of here," he pointed out, shoving things into a leather pack he'd managed to grab somewhere along the line. 

"And go where? What happened?" 

"There was an attack," he said. "It happened shortly after you lost consciousness. We had gotten back to the house when I heard the distinct sound of arrows."

"Arrows?" 

"Yes," he said, standing up to his full height and offering his hand. 

She took it. He hefted her up to her feet. Her head was still throbbing but she wasn't wobbly anymore. Whatever was left of the summer wine had quickly worn off in the wake of a blazing inferno. 

"I got back to your room after the fire had been lit. I carried you out of there." 

"We have to go back," she said, unable to help the pleading tone. 

"We can't go back," he said firmly. 

"But Finn, and Kaydel. And Rose?" 

"There is nothing you can do for them now, except for to hope that they were able to make it out alive." 

"Ren," she said, continuing to beg. "We might be able to help them." 

A wave of guilt washed over her. He had seen to it that she lived, and only her. 

"There were men all over the manse," he said. "I may have a reputation but even that would be madness for me. The best option is for you to survive, and hope that your friends were smart enough to the same." 

"I can't leave them behind," she said, her voice sounding so small, even to her. 

"Rey, it's suicide." 

It was the first time he had ever called her Rey. 

Kylo Ren was a machine when it came to survival. Rey stumbled and ran out of breath, and she realized she should have spent more time attempting to train with him rather than watching him train. The fact that her feet were bare began to become a boon. They were sore and covered in blisters and bruises, causing her to stumble and fall behind. He continued to cut a swath through the night as if it didn't bother him at all. She supposed that was why he was a knight, he was able to be so single-minded. 

Ren seemed to know where to go, which made her wonder when he had had the time to scope the Isles out. She supposed it was possible in the time that she had been away from him, though those moments had been sparse. There were times when they had to stop and allow more of the men to pass. It was hair raising, to say the least. 

Each time it happened, Rey was sure she had shaved some time off of her life. 

She was beginning to wonder if she would survive the night at all. 

She stumbled over a branch. It cut into her already sore foot, and she gave a sharp cry that she tried to strangle. If there were men nearby, however, they would have heard her cry out. Ren was quick to turn around and glance at her, his face a mixture of concern and surprise. She was unable to go any further, and she quickly sat down on the ground to examine her newly injured foot. A hiss of air escaped from behind her teeth when she saw blood. 

Ren knelt down in front of her. She felt him take her foot in hand, appraising the damage. 

"I am sorry, your majesty. I should have gathered a pair of shoes." 

"You couldn't have known," she said, taking the moment to look over his features up close. 

"I believe I did." 

"What?" 

"I'm not sure. I've had a bad feeling since we set out on this adventure." 

"Did you see what happened? Did you happen to see any of them?" 

"Not as I was leaving, no." 

"Oh," Rey said, disappointed. 

"Finn is clever, my queen. I am sure he found a way to get out, along with his wife and your friend." 

"Did you see who attacked us?" 

Rey could tell, immediately, that she had hit a cord. His features changed, becoming hard and flinty. 

"Ren? What is it?" 

"I am unsure if I should tell you." 

"Tell me." 

"They were the King's men, my lady." 

Rey was reeling. Ren had been forced to pick her up again. She felt guilty for a number of reasons, but she knew she was slowing them down. She felt guilty for Finn, Kaydel, and Rose. Above all, she was twinged with a peculiar sort of feeling as Ren's statement echoed through her head. _The King's men._

"How do you know?" 

He was carrying her on his back, forcing her to do some of the work in holding onto him. He was warm and firm, and she had a feeling she shouldn't have been so comforted by his presence. 

"I recognized their voices," he replied. 

"But you can't be sure that you recognized any voices." 

Rey realized she might have been in denial. 

"I am fairly sure, my lady." 

"What interest could they have had in burning Kaydel's wedding to the ground?" 

Ren was eerily silent. She was beginning to recognize his silences as meaningful. 

"What is it?" she asked. 

"I don't believe their target was Kaydel or Finn." 

"What?" 

"You were drugged. A great number of the party was also drugged. I imagine they were looking to harm you, my lady." 

"How do you know they were trying to drug me?" 

"I just have a feeling." 

"Your feelings are very reliable, I'm sure," she snapped. 

Ren did not respond, again. The longer the silence drew out, the worse she felt. She had her head buried into the spot between his shoulder blades. She could smell his peculiar scent, sweat, soap, and pine. 

"You heard them, didn't you?" She asked, softly. "You heard them talking about my failure to produce a sire." 

"I had heard whispers around the kingdom. I don't take much stock in rumors." 

"Well, it's obvious, isn't it?" She frowned, grasping onto him more tightly. "Why are you helping me?" 

Ren avoided the question. Rey knew that once the King's men turned their ire on her, his duty as her bodyguard was complete. The King's previous wishes now directly went against his current ones. Rey could not believe he knew, in fact, she was sure that he didn't know. 

They did not speak again for the remainder of the dark night. Ren traveled a giddy distance away from the fire, so far away that Rey no longer recognized where they were. She did not know where they were heading. It was possible he had saved her just to carry her off to her death. She was too exhausted to question him, and her exhaustion made her overlook the looming threat of bodily harm. 

They came upon a small cabin in the middle of a tangle of swamp water and reed. Ren had to slog through the water to get to the land, though Rey barely noticed what might have been the shock of it on her legs. She was beginning to feel drowsy, and achy. She barely hung onto consciousness as he hoisted her through the swamp, it was slipping out of her hands like beach sand in the tide. 

For the second time within a short forty-eight hours, Rey lost consciousness.

❂

_Are you well, my lady?_

_Rey could not wipe the tears from her face in time to turn to face the voice that was at her back. He was young, younger then. Unmarred and naive, he looked at her with the frank openness of a stable boy who had just stumbled into a Knighthood._

_I am well, Kylo Ren._

_She had sniffed out the words, and no matter how much she wiped her face, the tears continued to come - salt wet staining the sleeves of her wedding gown._

_Why do you cry?_

_For a moment, she wished he would go away._

_Because I am afraid._

_Afraid?_

_Are you here for a reason?_

_Kylo Ren's eyes fell to his feet._

_I only came to wish you well and congratulate you, my lady._

_When she turned around he was gone, and in his place, a small gathering of wildflowers tied up with a red ribbon._

Rey ran a fever for a period of time. She could not guess at how long that time frame was, and sometimes her sleep was so black and deep that not even dreams could penetrate it. She had a vague awareness of others around her, but no matter how hard she tried to open her eyes and move her body, it would not obey her. 

Then, finally, it broke. 

She became aware of her surroundings bit by bit; the open window, letting in the air and the sunlight. The simple, linen curtain, pulled back and tied. A tea-kettle, sitting wanly atop a wood stove that had a small flare of life in it. The bed beneath her, holding her steady and off of the ground. She twisted her fingertips up in the blankets, pleased to find that they were finally responding to her will. 

She opened her eyes but was unable to manage more than a squint at first. They were tender, having gone so long without taking in the light. Finally, as they grew used to the onslaught, she was able to form a complete picture of where she was in her mind. She was alone in a small cabin. There were signs of life, but her chest began to pound. Panic. Had he left her here? 

Rey stood, remembering the abuse that her feet had suffered acutely. She wrapped the blanket around her shoulders, finding she had been stripped down and dressed in a simple white gown. She was ashamed to realize it was probably Ren that had done it. 

Shuffling out into the bright sun, she lifted her hand and tried to peer into the wilderness, hoping to catch sight of his looming frame. There was nothing, only the wind, and the sky. The water and the birds. Peaceful not quite silence, vacant nature. 

Weak, she was forced to take herself back indoors and sit down on the bed that had housed her. She didn't know how long she'd been there, but the fire indicated that someone would have had to have been with her earlier in the day. 

She was shocked with another jolt of panic when she heard the cabin door swing open. There were sounds of someone rustling around inside. Standing up abruptly, she turned her eyes to the entrance only to find that her fears had been unfounded. It was Kylo Ren. Where he had gotten a change of clothes for both of them, she did not know, but he was wearing the plain clothes of a peasant with as much ease as he might have worn armor. 

"You're awake," he said, dropping the bag of sundries down near the door and closing the distance between them rather quickly. "You should sit." 

Rey did as she was instructed to do, less because it was what she wished to do and more because of how easily she seemed to exhaust herself. 

"How long was I asleep?" 

"It's been a few days." 

Rey slid herself back into a resting position on the bed, readjusting the blanket around herself. Ren tilted his head to look at her, and she could tell he was examining her features for some sort of reaction. He reached out without provocation and encompassed her forehead with his large, warm palm. 

"The fever is gone." 

"All thanks to you, I suppose." 

"Not all me," he said, dropping his hand away from her head. "A local woman came to see you." 

"What?" Rey said, louder than she meant to. "Did she recognize me?" 

"No, my lady." 

Ren stood up quickly. She realized he was holding something back, again. He began to busy himself with tea, and porridge, both of which Rey had little interest in. 

"What is it?" she finally asked. 

Ren looked at her. As always, he seemed to be weighing the benefit of sharing what he knew with her. 

"There are reports of your demise, even here." 

"What?" This exclamation was even louder than the last. "How could that be? We should make our way to Manaan immediately to clear up this misinformation!" 

"My lady, you are in no shape to travel to Manaan. At least not right now. And I am but a knight, but I believe that Manaan is the last place you should be, as it stands." 

"Stop calling me that," she said. 

"What, my lady?" Ren turned to look at her, his brow dropping in curiosity. 

"Yes, I want to hear you--" 

_Call me by my name._

"I am no Queen now." She fumbled. 

"But a lady, still," he said. 

"What do you propose we do, then? If it's not to return to Manaan?" 

"I believe we should make our way to Korriban." 

_Korriban._

❂


	8. The Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Does that mean I am free from all obligation?" 
> 
> "Yes," he said abruptly. "Yes lady, if you wish it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the fable is (maybe obviously to all you readers) one of aesops. 
> 
> i listened to this a lot while writing this chapter
> 
> aaahhh the suffering!
> 
> my attempt at what the japanese call 'ma', just letting the space exist between plot points/characters

❂

_Korriban._

Kylo Ren was right. Whatever had happened the night of the wedding had completely wiped out Rey's reserves, and being so sick for an extended number of days had made it worse. She was weak, weaker than she would have admitted to herself or to Ren. Ren was affable and patient. She was surprised at his mood, though he seemed to hold her being well paramount to anything else that was going on. 

If the men who had attacked Finn's wedding had really been the King's men, it brought to mind a whole slew of uncomfortable thoughts that Rey didn't want to face at the moment. Perhaps, Ren was doing the same. 

It wasn't as if his whole life hadn't just been upturned. Not like hers had. 

Ren had brought back clothes, as many as he could find, some of which were too big for her. Rey had done what she could with them, but truly she was simply glad not to be wandering around in a spare cotton gown and bare feet any longer. The cottage was cold at night, and now that she was growing better, she had a difficult time finding sleep with Ren resting so nearby. 

He often curled up in front of the fireplace and woke up with ash in his hair and smudged on his face, as some orphan child come home too late at night. 

In the morning he would rise with the sun, rinse his face and go on about what he considered the day's work - chopping wood and making serviceable meals for her. Each time she tried to get out of bed and assist him, he insisted that he had it well at hand and that she should continue resting. She was beginning to get restless. 

The day after she had tried to help him, books began showing up at her bedside. 

She couldn't have accounted for it, only wondering how he had gotten his hands on them. 

Finally, she began to feel well enough to take short walks in the evenings, and before long she was able to shake the last vestiges of illness away, whatever it had been. Stress and rain-induced, perhaps. A week and a half had passed before she began to be able to spend the entire day out of bed. 

Rey knew very little of cooking, chopping wood or mending clothes. She had never had much of a need to learn how to do those things, and though others had tried to teach her she had never practiced any of it with frequency. Why bother, when there was a bevy of cooks available at her beck and call? Cooks, servants, and tailors? Ren, however, seemed to have more knowledge in areas that she lacked. She had yet to see him pick up a needle, but he went about the days' tasks with a resolute ferocity that gave her no doubt that he was a Knight. 

It was the last day of the second week that they had been living this life when they were walking back from the nearby village in silence. Rey was carrying a basket full of food, having taken one from Ren insistently. She wanted to be useful and was becoming dreadfully aware of her shortcomings with each day that passed. 

"You've been so quiet," she said, walking a few paces behind him. 

She could hear his boots crunching the earth beneath them. 

"I am sorry, my Queen," he replied. 

A habit she had yet to break him of: calling her _my queen._

She wanted to break him open, just a bit. Crack the finely formed veneer of Knight to see what was underneath. She had gotten glimpses of it in the past, glimpses of a man who was holding back in each was he possibly could - a tightly wound band ready to snap. 

"Shall I cook tonight?" she asked. 

He turned to look at her, so surprised that he paused in his step. 

"You, my lady?" 

"Yes, me," she said, her voice more maudlin than she intended. 

"I apologize if I offend, it only that..." he paused, trying to choose his words carefully. "Do you know how?" 

"I can manage," she said, pouting. Accidentally, the toe of her scuffed boots caught a rock and sent it hurtling into the dirt with a thud. "I feel as if I must earn my keep somehow." 

"You have been unwell," he pointed out, willing to excuse her before she would even excuse herself. 

"Does that mean I am free from all obligation?" 

"Yes," he said abruptly. "Yes lady, if you wish it." 

He released a breath of air as he finished the sentence. 

Rey glanced to the food in the basket, frowning slightly. Was he exasperated with her? Annoyed? 

She was silent for the rest of the walk. 

Ren stoked the coals in the wood burning stove to be a warming blaze. Even though summer was on their heels, it still grew very cold at night. Rey realized fairly early on in her expedition that she had no idea how to cook. She mimicked what she had seen others do, and though she did a fairly good job of cutting fruit, cheese, and bread - the stew she attempted ended up a strange, dishwater color with rubbery meat and too much salt. 

Rey put on the white cotton gown that he had bought for her. It was the only piece of clothing she now had that fit. She bundled her hair and braided it into an elegant knot at the base of her neck. She had no powder or make-up, something she found she missed in times like these. She made the table, as best she could with what they had gathered, and waited for him to come in. 

When he did finally come back she noticed his hair was damp. She wondered if he'd bathed, and found it likely that he had. He smelled of soap and salt. He had chopped more wood to last them through the evening and set it near the fireplace that had been cold since that morning. 

"Hungry?" She asked, unable to hide the hopeful tinge in her tone. 

He gave a brief, astute nod of his head before setting the wood down. He had a fire going before long, and Rey moved around to light the stubby candles they had found. The light was low but good enough to see each other in. Rey watched as he took the first bite of the stew. She thought she knew what was coming, but Kylo Ren only briefly paused before continuing to eat it. 

Rey could only manage a small bit of it herself before she focused on the other items she'd prepared, finding they were more palatable, even to her. 

Ren finished all of the stew that she'd served him, but he did not help himself to seconds. 

"It was good," he said, awkwardly, as he set the bowl aside. 

"No it wasn't," she laughed, unable to help herself. 

He looked at her across the table, putting a piece of cheese in his mouth and chewing. He was smiling, just a bit. 

"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to waste your wages." 

"My wages? They are earned because of you." 

"Won't you accept my apology?" She asked, feeling desperate. 

She had no right to it, but she wanted some part of him. 

"Apology accepted," he said, benignly. 

"I'll cut more fruit if you're still hungry." 

He gave a nod of his head and she put the fruit slices down in front of him. She smiled at him and he looked up at her. In the light, his eyes looked almost hazel - a color she found she always had a difficult time pinning down. Up close, she could see how damp his hair was, the black and inky tendrils clinging to his pale skin. 

Her gaze moved to his as he looked at her, and she pressed her lips together and forgot to breathe for two or three seconds. 

"Thank you, for dinner." 

His voice was a quiet, dulcet purr. It was almost as if he had reached out and touched her. 

"Uh," she cleared her throat. "You are welcome."

❂

Rey couldn't sleep. The bright moon was loud, visible. The sparse window hangings couldn't block the moonshine out, fully. Some part of her felt as if she had slept too much, and another part of her just felt restless. Thoughts ran through her head at a rapid-fire pace, and she kept shifting in her bed to try and push her body into a comfortable position.

 _What was going on in the kingdom?_

The fire crackling seemed louder than it should have, and Rey finally sat up - with what intention she didn't know. She saw his shadow on the floor by the fire, still sitting up. He had wrapped his rough-spun blanket around his shoulders and he was reading one of the books he had brought for her. She slipped out of the bed, pulling the gray quilt along with her. She tugged it around her shoulders, finding that the floor was colder than she expected. 

She came to sit down by Ren, though it was too dark to get a good look at the title of the book he was reading. He noticed her. Rey would have been surprised if he hadn't known she was awake this entire time, but he took a few moments to pry his eyes away from the book to look at her. 

"Can't sleep?" she asked, softly. 

"I rarely can, these days." 

She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her arms around them - first taking a moment to wrap the blanket more tightly around her frame. 

"What are you reading?" 

Ren looked at the spine of the book briefly before he replaced the mark and shut it. 

"A supposition on fishing," he said. 

"You can't be serious," she said, laughter creeping into her voice. 

"I was hoping it might put me to sleep." 

"Apparently it didn't work." 

"Apparently not. Bad dreams?" 

Rey looked at the fire. It had burned down low, leaving behind coals that burned orange, black and red. She could see the almost-lava working it's what through what remained of the wood. It was comforting, somehow, to watch a fire burn. A surety, when so many things were so unsure. 

"No," she whispered. "No dreams at all." 

Ren was silent for a few long moments. 

"I remember someone reading to me when I couldn't sleep." 

Rey felt surprised at the sentiment. 

"You remember from...your childhood?" 

"It's foggy," he admitted. "But yes, I do." 

"Do...you remember the story?" 

"I remember one. A fable, I think." 

"I am surprised at you, Kylo Ren," she admitted. 

"What, that I know how to read?" he asked, facetiously, she thought. 

Was he teasing her? 

"No," she said. "That you enjoy it so. I would have thought that Knights had no time for fables." 

"Why shouldn't we? We end up in our fair share of them." 

She smiled, though she hid it in the bend of her knees. 

"Will you tell me the story?" 

"If you wish," he began. "Once upon a time, there was an old owl. This owl was cranky, and the only thing she was fond of was sleep. One day, she fell into a perfect nap in the den of her favorite oak tree, only to be disrupted by loud, raucous singing. When the owl came out to address the noise, she saw it was the grasshopper, singing his favorite song. She told him: "I don't wish to hear you sing, please go away!" But the grasshopper did not heed her words, telling her that he had as much right to be there as she did. So, the wily owl came out of her den and sat on her branch and begged him to continue singing, showering him with praises. The grasshopper became so overwhelmed, that he hopped right into her clutches, and she ate him." 

In the process of the story, Rey had crept closer to him without realizing it. There was something pleasing about his face in the recounting of the story, some warmth or kindness that made her want to be closer to him. She smiled as he finished the story. 

"That put you to sleep as a child?" 

"I can't remember." He laughed. "I think, perhaps, it did." 

"I see now why you're so uncomfortable at court." 

He glanced at her, his smile morphing into a full smile, teeth and all. 

"You're not a fan of flattery." 

"No, my lady," he laughed, shaking his head. 

Without realizing what she had done until she had done it, she leaned forward and brushed her lips at the corner of his mouth, eyes closed. His laughter stopped, and she felt him tense as if every muscle in his body had suddenly been pulled taut. 

Rey sharply pulled back, feeling sheepish. She was glad for the low light because she was sure her cheeks were red. She lifted her hand to her mouth, too afraid to look at him and see what his reaction might be. Her husband had certainly rejected her, and Rey was foolish enough to kiss this man anyway even though she was sure he had as well. 

Rey had never kissed a man full on the mouth. Not even her husband. 

"Rey," she heard him say, his voice having pitched down two raspy tones. "Look at me." 

The tone of his voice raised goose skin along her exposed arms. She felt the tingle of it, fighting the residual shiver as it made its way down the rest of her body. Rey was afraid to open her eyes, afraid of what she might see, but the sound of his voice reassured her that he wasn't _angry._

His face was difficult to read, but his eyes were warm, dark pools. 

Rey couldn't have guessed at what would happen next, but she wasn't expecting that he would lean forward and press his lips to hers. It was just a simple touch at first. She leaned back and tilted her face up and he pulled back. She knew she shouldn't have made any sudden movements, the skittish Knight had already changed his mind. But then, he kissed her again. This time his mouth on hers was firm. She released a hot breath of air, surprise knocking it completely from her chest. 

She felt Ren's tight grasp on his control slip away. She gasped, feeling his hands find their way to her waist, forcing her to drop her blanket. His hands were nearly large enough to encompass her entire waist. She felt the heat of his fingertips, pressing against her through what now felt like the very thin fabric of her gown. He pulled her forward with force, causing her to reach her hands out and find his shoulders as he slid her into the full breadth of his lap. 

She should have been telling herself to stop. Stop this. 

_This way is surely madness._

When the brunt of his tongue slid into her mouth, she was unsure how to proceed. It was an instinct that took over when she kissed him back. Her mouth opened to his as she slid her arms in a loop around his neck. He pulled her against him, forcing another breath of air from her lungs, a breath that threatened to turn into a moan. 

There was hardly any space between them. 

Ren was so warm, she was quickly losing grasp on her higher thoughts. She felt the great cloak he often held around himself shake away, and here was the man underneath. 

It was just a brief moment, a brief glimpse. 

He pulled back, his brow heavy with some feeling she couldn't name. Guilt? Regret? Rey had a hard time gathering her wits enough to respond, though even as he pulled back from her, little by little, he was still kissing her mouth until her lips felt swollen and ripe. 

His arms grew tense, and she suddenly felt cold. 

"I can't do this," he whispered, his voice careworn. 

Rey felt herself growing desperate again. She reached out for him, trying to keep him solid and present...however the rate at which he absconded left her feeling chilled and empty. He pulled back, standing up and turning his back away from her. She was no wilting violet, but she couldn't help the tears that stung her eyes. She quickly stood up. 

"I see." 

"Rey--" he tried, though it was lost as the door slammed shut behind her. 

Rey forced her way out into the night. The wind sent a shocking chill through her. It was as if someone had tossed an ice cold bucket of water on her. It woke her up, though it didn't stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks. It was the first time in her life that she could remember crying so completely, and only Ren seemed to draw it out of her. 

"Rey," she heard his voice behind her. 

She quickly turned, wiping the tears from her face - though it did her no good. She wanted to get past him, but he wouldn't let her. He stepped into her way, catching her before she had a chance to outmaneuver him. He caught her, and she felt the press of his face into her hair. 

"It isn't that I don't want to. I do." he began, his voice deep and soft. _Kind._ "No matter how many times I see you, each time I see you, I wake up." 

Rey let out a sob into his chest. 

He wrapped his arms around her in a surprising embrace. 

"But," it was a soft, damning word. "You are still the Queen. And I am still just a Knight. I wished for so many nights that I was something other than what I am...but it's -" 

He paused, tightening his grasp on her. 

"It's insanity." 

Rey cried. She cried until she had the hiccups and until she could not cry any longer. She cried until his shirt was stained with her tears. 

Then, swollen and defeated, she stepped back inside and found her blanket. She curled into the smallest portion of her bed that she could manage, sleeping well into the morning. 

Ren did not come back inside.

❂


	9. Drowned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a few minutes, he heard Finn: 
> 
> "Are you two love birds ready? We've got a lot of ground to cover."

❂

Ren had made the decision not to go back inside.

He was not earnestly sure he would have been able to stop himself a second time, or if she even wanted him there.

When the sun rose, Kylo Ren was thankful for it. The dark night had seemed so full of possibilities that had been dangerous even to consider. When the day had finally begun, Ren ventured into the cottage. It was strangled with an odd sense of silence - and he peered over to the bed to see that the Queen still slept. For a few moments, he watched the rise and fall of her chest, reassuring himself that she still lived. 

He dressed in suitable clothing, having no more use for his armor at the moment. He did his best to cover himself, though as always, it was difficult to truly hide from others. He made his way to the village with the intention of gathering a few more items that they might need. Ren noticed a difference in the demeanor of the villagers almost immediately. It put him on edge, though he did not immediately turn back to the cottage. He had a purpose, after all - and he felt the need to give Rey space after the night before. 

Ren's chest felt as if he'd been shot through with an arrow. There was an unfamiliar ache that did not go away - that had been steadily growing since he'd been placed in his position as her bodyguard. It was uncertainty, the realization that he could never really have what he wanted. Of course, he should want a Queen. 

He purchased what he thought to purchase in the village, and as he rounded a corner he saw a posting of signs. There was a row of the same one, with the obvious intention of sticking in the brain. He made his way towards them, curious. It was with a sinking feeling that he came upon the realization that the drawing on the photo looked a lot like him. He pulled one from the side of the building, examining its contents. It was certainly him, and it was certainly a sort of 'wanted' poster. 

_For the murder of the Queen._

Ren balled the paper up. He grabbed them all in a rage, crumpling them and throwing them to the ground. He did this, even though he knew it was too late. Clearly, everyone in the village had already seen it. Ren's thoughts became clearer as he finished his destruction of the flyers, and he realized that it was likely that whoever had posted them was still in town. 

He had to get out of there before he was given up - if he hadn't been already. 

Ren made his way out of the village without being seen, heading out into the depth of the forest to try and shake anyone that might have already spotted him. He knew the path well, considering he had walked it a few times in the two weeks they'd been stranded there. Ren satisfied himself that he wasn't being followed. If the villagers had seen him and recognized him, they hadn't alerted the guard to his presence just yet - at least not quickly enough for them to follow him out into the wood. 

When he came on the cottage, he saw Rey standing out in what could be considered the front yard. She was wearing the white cotton - the dress that cinched in at her small waist and bloomed out into a full skirt. The bottom of it was wet with the swampy grass, and she had her arm thrown up over her eyes to block out the oncoming sun. 

"Ren," she said - a bit of surprise in her tone. 

"We have to go." 

"Go?" she asked, taking a step back as he came on the porch. "Where will we go? We have no money and no way to earn money." 

Ren handed her the crumpled flier he'd taken from the village. He heard the crackle of the paper as she peeled it open. There was a good deal of silence, for a good deal of time. 

"This is you," she finally said. "For the murder of the Queen?" 

Ren didn't respond. He wouldn't have known what to say. 

"Where did you find this?" she asked. 

"In the village. We should go as soon as we can." 

"We?" she asked. 

Ren felt the question like a kick in the gut. 

"Fine. I should go, as quickly as I can." 

Ren opened the door. He had a single-minded thought that he should follow through with his previous sentiments. The inside of the cottage was warm, the residual fire making it hot in the morning sun. He began to gather what little belongings he had. He heard Rey come in behind him. He heard the shuffle of paper as she set the damaged wanted poster at the table. 

"Where will you go?" she asked, her voice a whisper. 

"Korriban." 

"Why?" 

"Why not? It isn't as if I have a place to go to back to in Manaan." 

"I could go back to Manaan with you, we could-" 

"Fix all of this?" he asked. 

"Yes," she replied. "Why couldn't we?" 

Ren wanted to tell her she was being naive, but he did not want to risk her feelings. 

"I'm going to Korriban." 

"Ren," she tried, and he felt her reach out for his arm in an attempt to get him to stop his flurry of activity. "What is it you're not telling me?" 

He turned to look at her. She was surprised by his movement and pulled away from him. 

"Do you really believe you can just walk back into Manaan with no trouble?" he asked. 

She looked...lost. 

"My Queen," he began. "It's clear to me that the king sent men out to kill you. Even if this weren't the case, the King's Men came to take your life. It's unlikely that you would be able to simply waltz back into Manaan, considering that they believe you're dead...or at least are telling the Kingdom that you are dead. There must be a reason for it." 

"Oh," she whispered.

Ren began shoving what clothing he'd gathered into a bag. He had to deal with his armor, which was in need of repair, but might still come in handy. He packed it, thinking it would be difficult to carry. He was already making a plan. He had no money, but he had buried a cache of it at the island Hux had gifted him with before all of this had begun. It would be dangerous, but he was sure he could get to it without detection. 

His life had just become more difficult, certainly. 

The only option he had was to get to Korriban and question the King himself. 

Certainly, there was some explanation. Some misunderstanding. Maybe he was the naive one. 

He threw his pack over his shoulder. He had just enough gold to find a boat that might take him back to Manaan, or at least close enough to it that he could find his 'home'. He left Rey with the food he had purchased, trying not to think of what she might have to do when she ran out of it. He did not want to leave her. 

He could not force her to go. 

"I'm coming with you," she said, her voice firm. 

BREAK 

Ren felt relief, and then something akin to discomfort. The journey to Korriban would be a long one, one that was likely to test both of them. Ren would be forced to go along beside her, having rejected her. The thought of it became easier when he began to list it in an itemized fashion in his mind. Find a boat. Get to the island. Find the money. Find another boat. Get to Korriban, somehow. Untangle this mess, somehow. 

It was there that he began to realize that this whole venture might have been foolish, but in the eyes of a fool, he had very few options. 

Rey gathered the rest of their belongings. She packed the food and items he'd purchased - as many as she could, anyway. He gave her what was left of his "wages". She covered half of her face and convinced an old man who had possession of a derelict fishing boat to take them back along the channel towards Manaan. It was better than those in the area see Ren's face as little as possible. He had to make use of his cloak, purely because of the hood. 

They left the cottage behind and carrying as much as they could possibly carry on their backs, headed for the boat. 

The fisherman was younger than Ren expected, and his face dropped when he saw the two of them. 

"This yer friend?" he asked. "Wasn't expectin' he'd be a large man." 

"Is there a problem?" Rey asked. 

Ren could see it on his face, the disappointment that he didn't happen to be another attractive woman. He wondered what nefarious plans had crossed his mind, though Ren knew those had all been dashed now. The man was probably in his mid forties, but his features were craggy and brown - a life spent too long in the sun. He took a too-long glance at the Knight. Ren was thankful that his features were obscured by his hood, but he know he might not always be so lucky. 

It didn't rain on this journey, proving Ren's time old theory wrong just the once. It was alarmingly hot, and Ren was in full sunlight beneath the warm black of his cloak. It soaked up the son, covering him in sweat before long. Ren realized if he didn't find a way to cool off, the sun would drain him completely of his energy before long. 

"Might wanna take that cloak off, friend," the fisherman said around a rolled cigarette that hung from his mouth. "Only gonna get hotter from here." 

Ren didn't respond, keeping up the facade that he was as mute as he was tall. The fisherman didn't like him, it was easy to tell. 

Rey sat opposite of him, regarding him as the man paddled his boat alone. He could feel her eyes on him, and when he turned to look at her, he saw the bald concern for him playing out on her features. Ren was not going to take his cloak off. 

It did get hotter. Rey finally stood up and gave Ren a canteen full of water. He took a few heavy drinks from it, keeping his eyes on the fisherman's back. Ren wasn't much of a sailor, but as night fell he began to suspect that this man wasn't taking them where Rey had requested. Ren had a good sense of direction, despite his not being a sailor, and he was familiar enough to know that it shouldn't have taken until nightfall to find. 

When it grew completely dark, the boat crawled to a stop. They were drifting along the water, and though Ren could not see so far, he could hear the telltale sounds of land nearby. 

Ren wished he had a light, but the only thing around them was water. So much water. 

Rey looked at Ren as the fisherman left his post at the paddles, moving aside to rustle around in the belongings he likely carried with him for each trip. Ren saw the light, casting the man in a near ghoulish glow. Ren heard the blade before he saw it, and was glad for his own hidden away beneath his cloak. The man had the advantage of knowing where he was stepping. 

"Ren!" Rey shouted though it was already too late. 

The man was slow in his attack, and it was clear that he hadn't spent much time honing the skill. Most men who had use for a blade satisfied themselves that they only needed to put the pointy end into someone else. Ren was skilled, and he was able to sidestep many of the attacks, excepting one where the man caught him in the flesh of his forearm with a blade. 

"Dead er alive, mate, I don't care," the man snarled out. 

The boat was rocking with the activity, and the man was swinging viciously in an attempt to back Ren into a place where he had no more boat beneath him. Ren had lost sight of Rey, but could make out silhouettes in the dark even as the light blew out from the wind in the air. Ren was trying not to kill the man, though when he slashed back he felt his knife sink surely into flesh. The man let out a yelp and then a growl. Ren was too distracted with not going overboard that he did not see Rey sneak up behind the man with the paddle in hand. The fisherman reached out and grabbed Ren at his cloak, yanking him forward forcefully enough to throw him off balance. 

**THUNK.**

Ren felt the man loosen his grip, but as it happened, Ren lost his balance. The man fell with a heavy thud into the bottom of the boat. Ren was surprised it didn't overturn - but as the weight shifted he found himself flung from it's safe haven - out into the water. 

Ren sunk, like a sack full of stones. His legs and arms felt useless, only serving to further drain him of energy as he flailed them in an attempt to get an upper hand on the water. He could see the surface, and he reached for it, but before long the pressure on his lungs and the lack of air caused his system to shut down. 

He was losing consciousness. 

When the light came back into his eyes it was with difficulty. There was something in his lungs, and it had been forced out. He hacked, and coughed, spitting out the fecund water as quickly as it flooded his mouth. He spit up until there was nothing left to spit up. It was still dark, and someone was saying his name. His eyes opened to find the Queen's features, close to his own. She was wet, her hair clinging to her skull and dripping onto her already wet clothing. She was concerned, but he saw the relief flood her features when she realized he was not dead.

"Ren," she said, her voice a sigh. 

He sat up, still coughing. She sat back, away from him, allowing him to regain his purchase on his rebelling lungs. They stung and burned, and he knew he would be feeling the after effects of his little "swim" in the water for weeks to come. 

"Are you alright?" she asked, patting his back as he continued to cough up remnants of the river water. 

"I'm fine," he replied, his voice haggard and his throat sore. 

"I thought everyone in Manaan knew how to swim."

She looked at him, her eyes wide with shock and surprise. 

"Not me," he coughed out.

❂

Rey had jumped into the water and dragged his lifeless body out of it, a feat for a woman who was much smaller than he was. He had to attribute it to adrenaline and strength. He was quietly thankful that she was a good swimmer. Rey had been smart and tossed their supplies as far out as she could, but Ren was fairly certain they were drenched through as well.

They were truly in a mess now. 

They were both soaking wet, and it was getting colder the farther they got away from the sunset. Ren never thought he would miss the heat, but when Rey's teeth started to chatter he realized he far preferred it. His own chattering teeth were not far behind hers, but he motioned towards the supplies she had managed to save, still rolled up in the pack. 

"See if that blanket is still dry," he said, his voice an uneven tremble. 

He began stripping his soaked clothing off. 

"W-what are you doing?" she asked, her mouth agape. 

"We'll freeze if we stay in wet clothes," he mumbled. 

"We can't just...we can't-" 

Ren paused in his motion, having only had the opportunity to fling his doubly heavy cloak off of his frame. He wondered if she was going to finish her sentence, but she didn't. She just looked down at the ground before she continued digging through the pack for the blanket. 

"It's still dry," she said, surprised. "The ends are wet." 

"It'll do," he said, continuing on his motions. His jacket came off next, leaving him clad in a nearly see-through white linen tunic that hung around him. 

Rey looked thoroughly uncomfortable. 

"There's only one blanket," she pointed out. "What about a fire?" 

"I won't look," he promised. "The ground is too damp for a fire, and neither of us is in a state to go looking for dry wood." 

_Or touch, unnecessarily._

She paused. 

"Listen, I'm not particularly thrilled about this either, but we will freeze. I don't think anyone is coming for us," he pointed out. 

Ren pulled it off of him, the air cold against his damp skin. Rey hesitated for a brief moment, but perhaps seeing that he was right, she began to undress. Ren turned his eyes away, grasping the blanket and pulling it away from her before he made a move to divulge himself of his trousers. He slid the blanket around his shoulders, keeping his back away from her while she undressed. 

"You can turn around," she whispered. He could hear the shiver in her voice. 

He did, keeping his eyes up. He wanted to look, but he had made a promise. He took a seat on the most comfortable spot of ground he could find, and she joined him. She was small, and he managed to keep a bit of blanket between them so that they weren't skin to skin. She fit into his lap perfectly. She smelled like the river water, but beneath he caught the remnant scents of her honey and sugar. He wrapped his arms around her, enclosing her underneath the blanket. 

She shivered for a while, but eventually, their shared warmth began to radiate. Ren felt it flourishing into his limbs, though as he grew warmer he began to realize how exhausted he was. His arm was throbbing, and he remembered that he had been slashed there earlier. She became more comfortable, and he felt the line of her back become less rigid. Eventually, she was resting back against him. 

"Do you think he'll come back?" she whispered. 

"Once he wakes up, I think it's likely," he replied, his voice still roughshod from the river water. 

"What are we going to do?" 

"I don't know," he admitted. "We can follow the land down as far as it goes and maybe we might come upon another village that doesn't have my picture posted up everywhere." 

"I'm not even sure I know where we are," she said. 

He could tell she was afraid. 

"Things will look better in the light of day," he said, speaking as if he meant it. He was not sure if he believed it, himself. 

"You're injured," she said. 

He felt her chilled fingertips trace the cut, and he sucked a bit of air through his teeth. 

"Oh, I'm sorry." 

She quickly pulled her hand away. 

"We should have seen to it before we..." 

_What, got naked together?_

"I'll be fine," he reassured her. 

The conversation between them died. Ren could hear the sound of the water moving nearby, ever steadily working away at the land, eroding it away. Water might have been liquid, but Ren really saw it as an immovable force. He could hear the sound of her breathing. It became steady, and he realized she had probably fallen asleep. Ren was trying not to focus on her too intently. He knew the desires of his body might overwhelm him, but he knew he was fooling himself to believe that his desire for her was purely of the flesh. 

No, he was sure that it ran much deeper than that. 

He gently shifted her into a more comfortable position, and he settled himself with his back against the stump of a tall tree that hung low as if it was bent over in pain. He tried to remain alert, but she was so _warm and soft._ It would have been a good idea to remain alert, but the sound of the wind, the water, and her gentle breathing lulled him right into sleep. 

He did not know how much time passed before he woke again. 

"Oh my," he heard someone say. A woman. 

"This wasn't how I was expecting to find them," another voice chimed in. A man. A familiar voice. 

Ren's head was throbbing and his throat was swollen. The sun was hot and bright, and it was painful against his closed eyelids. He opened his eyes after a few painful blinks. Rey woke in much the same fashion, lifting her head up from his upper arm and peering around to see where the source of the noise came from. 

Their first instinct was to pull away from each other, but they both realized they could not. They were covered only by each other and the blanket that was now dry in the sun. The owners of the voices came forward, and Ren realized that he recognized them both. 

"Finn? Rose?" 

It was Rey who confirmed it first. 

"I guess he didn't kill you," Finn said, crossing his arms over his chest. 

"It...is not what it looks like," she tried, pulling the blanket over her chest more completely. 

"I think it's exactly what it looks like," he said. 

Was he smirking? 

"What are you doing here?" 

"We've been following your trail for a couple of weeks. Lost it near the village. Picked it up again when you paid the man for the boat." 

"He tried to kill me," Ren grumbled. 

"Really? You've never looked better." 

Ren felt the thunk of something against his chest. He realized it was clothing. Fresh, dry clothing. 

"You probably ought to get dressed. We'll wait for you a few paces down," Finn said, turning away from them and heading back down through the brush. 

Rose stood there with her hand over her mouth for a few moments longer before she turned to follow him. They were both dressed oddly. Gone were the clothes of the court, replaced by utility an ease of movement. Bland colors that were meant to easily blend in with the scenery. 

Ren had to wonder at it. 

Rey wouldn't look at him. Her cheeks were pink. Ren grabbed the clothing that had been provided to him, finding it was the quilted sort of tunic that he often wore in armor. He carefully left the blanket, untangling it from his frame and leaving her with it. He slipped into a place that was more hidden, away from prying eyes, though he was sure she was looking at his backside as he walked away. He dressed quickly, finding it was a relief to have dry clothing. 

After a few minutes, he heard Finn: 

"Are you two love birds ready? We've got a lot of ground to cover."

❂


	10. Distractions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who were these people?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listened to 'superposition' by young the giant a lot while writing this chap
> 
> hey, if you like this, please share it! it really does help creators when we get some traction. also, i have a twitter, where i post fic updates and maybe someday the playlists i use to write! follow me! it's @dark_terrible

❂

Ren was thankful for the dry clothes, but even more thankful that there was now a proper barrier between him and Rey. It was superficial, he knew, but it felt good to be somewhat armored against her. She threatened to slip beyond his walls each day he knew her. He was sure that the best idea was to never end up in a situation like that one with the Queen again, much less one that her friends became privy to.

Rey had been given a pair of women's clothes that were fashioned to resemble a man's, breeches, boots and all. He could see in the details that they had been designed for a woman; small flowers embroidered in white thread on the sleeves and the neck, the cut fitted instead of flared. She had braided and tied her hair back out of her face, which was free of its usual powders and tints. She looked even younger than she normally did. The sun had dusted her nose and cheeks with freckles and had made her a bit brown. 

Ren swallowed. He was trying not to think of the heft of her body against his own. 

_If it were under any other circumstances._

He shook the thought off as they moved to follow after Finn and Rose. 

Ren's own clothes lacked their denoted black, Finn had chosen something brown for him. Brown tunic, white linen, brown breeches. The only thing that remained of the Knight was his black boots and his weapon. 

Rey was still having a difficult time looking at him. Right now, the only thing between them was silence. 

Finn and Rose shook off the initial discomfort of the encounter with relative ease. In fact, when they came upon them out of the protection of the brush, it was as if nothing had ever happened at all. 

"Finally, they appear," Finn said as they came upon them. 

"Oh Finn, will you give it a rest?" Rose groaned, busying herself with some packing of items. 

"What?" He asked, surprise crossing his face as he peered at Rose. 

"I refuse to travel with you if this is the Finn we're going to get the entire time." 

"Apologies, m'lady, it's just that usually by now I've had an entire decanter of wine," he paused. "This whole thing has forced sobriety upon me in an unfathomable way." 

Rose groaned again, tossing her head back in frustration. 

"Well if you're going to get positional about it we can always leave you behind." 

"What happened to you?" Rey asked. "I thought you had died back at the manse." 

Ren was glad she had disrupted the conversation, though he decided not to take part in it himself. He moved towards Rose, squatting down to help her with the remnants of her task. She looked at him for a moment, offering a brief smile before she continued on with it. 

"The men who attacked made it rather obvious they were going to attack. Nothing subtle about it. I had time enough to get everyone out of harm's way with a simple distraction." 

"Distraction?" 

"Please don't ask him," Rose mumbled under her breath. 

"I set the house on fire. With the men in it," Finn said, as if he had done nothing but take a quick morning stroll. 

"You set the fire?" Rey asked, obviously shocked. 

"I didn't mean for it to go up as it did. Or explode, that second time," he coughed. 

Ren looked to the Queen. Her face was difficult to read, but she looked irritated. 

"Is Kaydel alright?" 

"She singed off a bit of her eyebrow, which I got a thorough raking for, but she's well enough." 

"How did you know to track us?" Ren finally asked. 

He had a knack for causing silence as if his mere presence was discomfiting enough, it was worse now that he was speaking too. He did not think Finn would give him the truth, but he might not have gotten another opportunity to ask the question. 

"The immediate news after the unfortunate incident was that you had both been killed. I seemed to know better, though - and when reports began to surface that you had been seen with a woman in tow, we came," he said, plainly enough. 

"Why would Manaan tell everyone we had both died?" Rey interjected.

"I'm not sure," Finn said. "When they couldn't corroborate it with any bodies that weren't those if their own, they changed the story." 

"They circulated that I had murdered her," Ren said, rising from his crouched position. 

"Indeed," Finn said, circling the toe of his boot in the dirt. "You gave us a bit of a run-around, to begin with. Good job, by the way. By the time you had settled, we were a week or so behind you. It's amazing how far you managed to go." 

"With me on his back, no less," she scoffed. 

Seeming to realize what she had said, and the new implications of it, she put her hand over her mouth. 

"And then you paid the lovely fisherman, and we lost you again. Until now." 

"How did you know we had gotten off the boat?" 

"Lucky guess. I supposed that everyone in the village knew you were a wanted man. They're offering quite a lot of money for your return." 

"And I'm a dead woman walking," Rey said, dropping her hand down to rest at her waist. 

"And to your knowledge," Ren began. "Does the King know of any of this?" 

Finn went silent, and Rose picked up the thread. 

"When the reports surfaced that you were seen with a woman, we figured you hadn't killed her. We knew we had to find you both, however, as the time might be short before someone did." 

"We were a little late for that. Though I wouldn't have minded in your case, Knight," Finn said. "But thank you for keeping the Queen safe, all the same." 

"Finn," Rey said, sharply. 

"What? It's the nature of our relationship, isn't it Ren?" 

"You don't always have to have such a sharp tongue," Rose pointed out, more kindly than she meant to. 

Finn smirked and continued on through the brush as noisily as he could until they came upon the water again. Ren slowed down until he saw the boat, which pushed him to a complete stop. He shouldn't have been surprised, the journey out of Manaan would be an impossible one, but his recent brush with death hung heavy over his shoulders. 

He realized he had never properly thanked Rey for saving his life.

The Manaanites had no apparent reservations about boarding the vessel. 

Ren hesitated to such a degree that the entire party turned to look at him. 

"What," Finn began. "Does he intend to swim?" 

"He doesn't know how," Rey muttered. 

He wished she hadn't, though. He could see why she might have felt the need to explain, though, should he go overboard again. 

"I'm perfectly fine with leaving you, as well," Finn pointed out. "I especially don't like saving people who are drowning." 

"Why is that? Because you can't set them ablaze?" Ren asked, unable to stay his tongue. 

Finn scoffed. 

Ren was forced to get on the boat. 

It was built by the Isles, he could see that. It had a sail, with Manaan's old characters painted it on it, weather-worn with use. It had an underbelly to which the others might retreat to in times of rest. The invention of the sail made paddling useless unless the wind should happen to stop, but as it was it had been a breezy few days. Finn prepared the sails and Rose assisted him, and before long they were on their way, sailing along at a good clip. Despite all it carried, Ren could tell it was a remarkably lightweight boat. 

There was nothing but the sound of the water and the wind to accompany them. The party seemed happy just letting the silence continue until Rose blurted out: 

"Oh! He drowned and that's why you were asleep together, naked! Your clothes were wet! I see." 

She looked thoroughly relieved in having worked it out. Finn merely tossed her a glance. 

Rey looked like she might have thrown up breakfast; if she had eaten any. 

Rose stopped laughing and turned away from them, abruptly. Suddenly, the water was very interesting.

❂

Ren sat like a statue at the bow of the boat. When the wind died a bit, Finn tied everything up and let it rest, for the time. They still made progress, just much more slowly than usual. Ren became uneasy as he began to realize he could no longer see the water, his anxiety making it so that he only felt comfortable when he could keep an eye on it. He could smell the savory smells of food being cooked, and he realized he was alone on the upper deck, but he wasn't sure he could take more of Finn's burning arrows.

He felt a prod at his shoulder and he turned to find Finn, standing there with a fork and a plate full of steaming something. Ren didn't recognize most of it, but he knew immediately that it was probably fish. 

"The lady bade me, deliver your dinner," he handed the plate over to Ren, who took it without complaint. 

Finn sat down beside him, surprisingly. 

"You're making sure the water doesn't jump up into the boat and kill us all?" 

"I prefer eating in silence," Ren said, turning in to try and eat whatever food had been given to him. "Did Rey make this?" 

"Good Gods, no. Rose did," Finn laughed. "Why?" 

"No reason," Ren replied, digging into the flakey flesh of the fish. 

It was good enough, but he ate quickly and didn't focus too much on the taste. He hadn't realized how hungry he was. 

"We're taking her back to Manaan," Finn said. 

Ren stopped his chewing and looked at Finn, slowly. 

"I'm not sure what your plans were, but we believe--" 

"You believe it's a good idea to take her back to a nest full of vipers who might make another attempt on her life?" 

Finn looked taken aback. 

"Listen, Ren," he began. "You're free to do as you like. We'll take you as far as you would like to go, but it's been decided--" 

"Nothing has been decided," Rey said. 

"Your Majesty," Finn began. 

"He's right, Finn," she said. "Where he's going is just as safe a place as Manaan is, for me. And for him." 

"And where is he going?" 

"Korriban," Ren said, setting the now empty plate aside. 

Finn went white, like a ghost. He was aghast. And then, he was enraged. 

"Are you mad?" He spat out. "What can you be thinking of to follow him into Korriban?" 

"What do you expect me to do, Finn? No one is giving me any useful information. We don't even know if the King knows!" 

"That isn't what this is about," Finn said. 

"What is it about?" 

"Him. You care about him. And you have no idea what he might be leading you into. Do you forget that he's a Knight for Hux? What if Hux _is_ behind all of this?" 

Finn pointed back to Ren. He wished he had somewhere to go, but the terrible realization dawned on him that they were stuck on a boat. There was nowhere to go. Rey didn't confirm the statement. She didn't deny it either. Her eyes flickered to him, and he looked at her in a hooded way, fearful that if Finn saw him move he might confirm his suspicions. 

"Uh, might I make a suggestion?" Rose chimed in. 

Ren didn't know how long she'd been standing there. He supposed she had heard the entire conversation, anyway. He watched her as she came over and retrieved the plate she'd made for him. He wondered at how she carried herself, and how she always seemed cheerful and without judgment. 

Even with him. 

Everyone in the group was looking at her now. 

"That we might all talk it over in the morning? We're all exhausted and scared, and that's never a good time to have a conversation like this." 

"Fine," Finn said. 

He gave one last, murderous glance at Ren, and went below deck. Rose followed, giving them both an apologetic smile. 

Rey remained. 

"I'm sorry about him," Rey said, quietly. 

"Why should you be?" Ren asked. "He only cares for your well being." 

"Yes, but it would be nice if he could express it in a kinder way." 

"He has no reason to trust me," Ren pointed out. "Nor do I him, except for that he's saved us when I could not do so." 

"Ren, you carried me a million miles on your back when you were sick. I think it's fine that the reigns fell to someone else for once." 

Ren remained silent - a skill he did always appear to have. He was looking at her, noting the way that the wind tickled at the fine, curly hairs around her ears. He fought his desire to reach out and tuck it behind her ear. 

The water was like dark ink, all around them. When Ren sat down and looked towards the sky, he could see stars sprinkled out across the sky like diamonds on velvet. For a moment, he forgot that they were floating along the water and that he should not feel comfortable. The breeze had become cool again, and he could tell it would grow cold again before long. 

"Won't you come down?" 

"No," he replied. "It's best I remain here for the night." 

"But Ren, you can't swim," she pointed out, again. 

"Then I won't swim," he gave her a bare smile. 

"I'll bring you a blanket, at least." 

Before he could stop her, she had gone below. She returned a few moments later with a blanket in hand. In her other hand, she carried a small leather kit. She sat down beside him, handing him the blanket. 

"What's that?" he asked, motioning to the kit. 

"It's Rose's, she has some medical items in here. We never...saw to your wound," she said, reaching for his arm. 

He hesitated before providing the injured forearm. He hadn't had much time to think about it, but when she peeled back the layers of his sleeves he realized that he probably should have. Ren recognized an infection when he saw it. Rey gasped. 

"We shouldn't have left it." 

"I've had worse." 

"I know," she smiled up at him before focusing her attention on folding his sleeve back. 

He watched her as she cleaned it, focused intently on doing so without hurting him. It stung, but he gave no reaction to it. Once the wound was cleaned, she carefully rubbed some foul-smelling, thick salve on top of it. It was the color of river sludge, which he supposed was fitting. 

"I never properly thanked you for saving my life," he finally said, his voice softer than he wished it was. 

"No need to thank me," she looked up at him briefly before she went about wrapping the wound. "We're even, now." 

"Are we?" he asked. 

"Are you keeping a ledger?" 

"No, but it appears you are," he laughed. "Won't you accept my gratitude?" 

She looked up sharply as his words echoed her own, just a few days prior. 

"You're welcome." 

She leaned back, examining her handiwork. She had done a good job, though the strange menthol of the salve was causing his arm to go numb. The bandage wasn't too tight, and he could still move his arm to a degree. 

"Can I ask you something?" 

"You can ask," he replied. 

"How come you never learned how to swim? You've been in Manaan your entire life...surely you must have had occasion to learn." 

Ren released a heavy sigh. It was not something he wanted to admit to, to anyone, and he hesitated. 

"Of course," she stammered. "You don't have to tell me anything." 

"I'm afraid of the water." 

"Heavens, why?" She exclaimed, before realizing she might rouse Finn and Rose. 

"I nearly drowned when I was a boy. I don't remember how, or where...only the sensation of drowning. Each time I get into a body of water, I seize up and can't swim." 

Rey frowned. She realized she was holding onto his arm - and released it, leaving behind only the memory of the warm pressure of her hand. He pulled it back to himself, taking a moment to fold his sleeve down over the bandage. Ren had occasion to look past her, and when he did he realized that there was a small ball of light, floating directly towards them. 

Rey opened her mouth to ask him another question before she realized he wasn't looking at her, but instead looking at something behind her rather intently. 

"Ren? What is it?" 

"I'm not sure," he replied, quietly. "Looks as if we might have been followed." 

Rey turned to follow his gaze. As the boat came closer, Ren realized that he recognized it. He'd fallen off of it the night before and nearly drowned. And the man who piloted it was the very same man who had tried to kill him - and he looked twice as unpleasant as he had the night before. 

"You'd better get Finn," he said, quietly. "Stay low." 

He watched her do just that before he turned his eyes back on their assailants. 

The fisherman had brought friends. Ren got a look at him for a brief moment in the low light of his torch and could see that his head was bandaged. Whatever precious few brain cells he had left had gotten knocked out when the Queen had taken the paddle to his head. He could also see that they were paddling, but the wind was low. Ren kept low, hoping to keep up the appearance that no one was on board. 

He could hear them shouting. 

"I know 'e's there, I saw him," One made shouted. 

"Faster, then!" 

Finn came up on deck, crawling his way towards where Ren had positioned himself. They both peered over the edge of the boat, trying to assess what sort of weapons these men had brought with them. 

"Doesn't look like they've got any arrows," Finn whispered. 

"Hard to tell." 

What Ren could see was that there were five of them. It wasn't going to be any easier to get ambushed on a boat in the middle of the night with five men versus one, he knew. 

"I don't think we should try and take them on," he said. "They're counting on the fact that it's dark and we're on a boat." 

"I think you're right," Finn replied. "If we can get far enough away from them, this river dumps out into the ocean. Once we get out into the open we'll outpace them, easy enough." 

"How do you mean to distract them?" Rey asked. 

"You should go below deck," Finn said. 

"We won't," Rose chimed in, sounding offended. 

"Do you mean to set them ablaze, too?" Rey inquired.

Finn and Ren looked at each other. And then, they looked at each other again. 

"You can't be serious," Rey said, exasperated. 

"There are bottles below deck, and cheesecloth," Finn began. "There's just enough grease to do it." 

"What if we need light later on?" 

"If we're going to Korriban, we'll need to stop and gather more supplies, in any case." 

"What? Finn, we didn't mean for you to come along--" 

"Can we talk about this later?" Ren asked. 

"Right, sorry," Rey said. "I'll go get what you need." 

Finn carefully began pulling up the sails, though it wasn't long before what he was doing was noticed. 

"He's pullin' up the sails!" One man shouted. 

"Paddle faster!" 

The wind caught the sails and pushed them farther along, but the men were on them with a renewed purpose. Rey came back above deck with an arm full of bottles and cheesecloth. Rose followed behind with a lit torch. The sight of the light caused the men to shout. Ren quickly took it from her, pulling it down and out of sight though he knew they could still see it. 

Ren and Finn worked quickly at making the bottles into feasible explosives, though the general damp of the area made it more difficult than originally anticipated. Ren stood up and lobbed the first one. It hit harmlessly at the side of the boat, but the brief flash of light gave them both a better idea of where to aim. Finn lobbed the next one, and this one fell into the bottom of the boat. The men quickly stamped it out, shouting all the while. 

It had slowed them down, at least. 

It wasn't long before Ren heard the familiar sound of an arrow sailing through the air. 

"Get down," he hissed, and everyone was forced to obey him. The arrow buried itself in the hull of the boat with a heavy 'thump'. 

"Shit," Finn muttered. 

"You deal with the sails," Ren commanded. "See if you can't get this thing moving faster. Rey, take this." 

Finn didn't argue, thankfully. He quietly slid over to the sails and began twisting and turning them in an attempt to better catch the breeze to move them more quickly along. Rose assisted. Ren handed Rey one of the bottles. 

"Aim for something that will catch quickly," he instructed. 

They only had a few bottles left Ren realized. They were going to have to make them count, and they only had precious few seconds before another arrow was aimed at them. Ren counted: one, two, three. They chucked their bottles at the same time. Ren's hit one of the men, causing him to begin screeching and screaming as the fire threatened to engulf his clothing. The next, Rey's, landed directly on their cache of supplies. 

It was a good throw. 

The archer nocked his bow and loosed another arrow and Ren noticed, maybe a few moments too late, that he had aimed for the Queen. Ren quickly dove for her, breaking her immediately from her momentary celebration. It was a split second, just enough to wrap himself around her and push her down into the damp bottom of the boat. The arrow sailed by, landing in a place it hadn't been intended for. 

Rey looked up at him, her eyes wide. 

"Are you well, Ren?" She asked, her voice quiet. 

"I'm fine. Good throw." 

Ren sat up, and Rey followed along, though they forced themselves to stay low. It wouldn't have mattered, the sight they were met with was one of chaos. The fire had completely engulfed half of the boat, and the men aboard were dramatically working to try and put it out. Finn had begun to steer the boat in the direction of the ocean, where the river ceased to exist. 

Finn had been right - the wind had picked up in its furor and frequency and the boat sailed easily out of grasp. The four of them stood, watching the fisherman's boat catch fire in such a devastating way that they were forced to abandon ship as it sunk into the water, the fire had done enough destruction to its integrity to cause it to sink. Ren could hear them shouting and then splashing. 

"Well, at least _they_ can swim," Finn said. 

Finn seemed to have a destination in mind, and though they were all exhausted, they kept to it. The attack had reminded them that they might not have much time to dilly-dally. During the days, the salt brine and the dry air made it hot, but at night the temperature dropped to such a degree that they were forced to pile together with blankets. They took turns resting, two of them at a time going down below to sleep in the make-shift bed that had been put aboard without the constant assault of the sea. 

Ren hated every minute of it. 

By the second or third day of travel, he had completely absolved himself of his quilted tunic and torn the sleeves from the linen shirt he wore tucked into his breeches. He was beginning to understand why pirates often looked the way they did. His skin got ruddy and then brown, the sun leaving behind its mark on all of them. His hair was so full of salt brine it stayed in place, and he wished it was still long enough to pull back into a tail. 

Finn taught them all the ins and outs of the sailboat so that when he rested someone at least had a handle on it. Ren was sure he would never find a reason to be on a sailboat again. Even if he was allowed back in Manaan, he had promised himself to move somewhere where there was no ocean at all. 

During the day, they could see shadows of large sharks, sometimes circling the boats, sometimes just drifting along. There were whales and they could hear them talk to each other in their strange, echoing languages. At night, the sky was so dark and clear Ren was sure he had never seen so many stars in his life. He and Rey, for one reason or another, avoided each other. 

Ren began to accept that the ever-sharpening ache in his chest was there to stay. 

_He loved her, surely._

But it seemed important that she never know it. 

As the week passed, they got closer to Finn's proposed destination. Ren had to appreciate that Finn was able to navigate, as the water turned him completely around. Finally, midday on the last day of the week, they floated towards a shore of white sands. Ren helped Finn pull the boat out of the water, and they both worked to tie it up. They followed Finn along the beach. 

Before Ren had realized it, Finn had stopped in his tracks. Ren looked up to find a group of people standing a distance off. He recognized one of them as Kaydel, and though another seemed familiar he was having a difficult time grasping where he had seen him before. He had a head of dark, curly hair, and was dressed similarly to how a pirate might dress. When he came forward, he and Finn embraced, tightly. They held on for a moment too long (some might think), and had a difficult time letting go of one another. In fact, it was if they had not seen each other in quite some time. 

Kaydel did not seem to mind, though Rey did look a bit surprised. 

When they finally released one another, the man came forward to shake Ren's hand. 

"The Knight," he said. "You're the last person I expected to wash up here." 

"Poe," he said - the realization of who he was suddenly dawning on him. 

"That's right," Poe shook his hand and smiled, genial. "And the Queen. And Rose Tico. To what do I owe the pleasure?" 

"It's a bit of a long story," Finn said. "We were hoping to refill here before we set off on the next portion of our journey...to Korriban." 

Poe turned to look at Finn. It was unmistakable, the concern that crossed his face. 

"Korriban? That's a mad place to want to go," Poe released a sigh. "Follow me." 

"Rey," Kaydel said. They embraced as well, though it was brief. 

Ren followed at the end of the pack, watching the Queen as she and Kaydel spoke. Glad to see each other alive, perhaps. Ren was still wondering at all of it. 

Who were these people?

❂


	11. My Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Goodnight, my Queen," he whispered, this thumb on her lower lip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hittin you with that sexy stuff before we all go to korriban together as one big happy group
> 
> hey, do you like this? are you readin it? this group has been puhretty quiet! let me know in the comments!

❂

There were brief introductions on the white, sandy beach. Rey was so tired she could have collapsed at Poe's feet and thanked him merely for being there and having a place where they might rest. She could see immediately that they were safer here than they were on the boat, and they would all have a chance to get some sleep.

"I got your letter a short time before you showed up," Poe said as he led them through the island jungle. "I had enough time to prepare rooms for you." 

"Thank the Gods," Rey muttered, under her breath. 

"The sailing life doesn't suit you, my Queen?" Poe asked. She could hear the smirk in his tone. 

"I'll grow used to it," she replied. 

The house was perhaps not as glorious as some of the others she had stayed in, but it was charmingly whitewashed and large enough to house all of them. Rey stopped to examine it, spotting a long deck that connected to the house back out to the sea. The windows were open all over the manse, and Rey could see the flutter of linen curtains here and there, protesting the wind. 

"I've had hot water put in the tubs," Poe said as he showed them each their rooms, all but Finn, she noted. "Dinner will be brought shortly if you'd like to take it in your rooms. Tomorrow, I can introduce you to the others on the Island." 

"Others?" Ren asked. 

"Yes," Poe said, simply. "Here is your room, my Queen. Feel free to use what you like. There are clothes gathered for you as well." 

"Please, it's Rey. We needn't stand on ceremony when I'm technically dead." 

"Fine, Lady Rey. Enjoy," Poe demurred. 

Ren lingered at her door, and when she sat down on the bed, she looked up to find him looking at her. They hadn't spoken much since the night of the attack, Rey doing her best to respect his wishes and boundaries. She hadn't really gotten a good look at him, either, as they were always on the move. He looked swarthy, to say the least. He had gotten sun on his face and upper body. He looked leaner than she remembered, but she realized that they both did. Rationed food and constant exercise would do that to a person. 

Ren gave a bow as his name was called, forcing him to follow the others down the hall. 

She released a puff of air. Standing up, she gently closed her door, glad for the solitude after being in such close quarters with all of them for so long. Rey looked around the room. It was small, compared to her own back in Manaan, but it was cozy. There was a place for a fire, a small bathroom, and a comfortable looking four-poster bed covered in pristine white linen. 

Rey got undressed, throwing the sea-worn clothes aside. She wasn't sure they could be rescued or returned to their original colors. She found the tub, still full of steaming bath water. It was the prettiest thing she had seen in weeks. She slid into the hot water, becoming aware of all of her nicks and cuts as they stung. Eventually, the pain melted away and she was able to relax in the hot water. She nearly fell asleep in it. 

It took her a long time to wash all of the grit from her hair, but once she did, she felt renewed. She dried off, moving into the bedroom to find something to wear. There were gowns, but Rey found undergarments and items to sleep in, as well. She pulled a long cotton gown on that was tinged a faint shade of peach. Her intention was to wait for dinner, but when she crawled into the bed and her head hit the cool pillow, she fell immediately to sleep. 

She missed dinner. 

When she woke up again, it was due to the rumbling of her stomach. She sat up, unsure of where she was at first. When she remembered what had happened, she slid out of the unfamiliar bed and began searching around in the closet for a robe to pull on over the slight gown. She found a beautiful, embroidered sleeping jacket, and she slid into it, pulling her hair out from the collar. 

She hoped to find a tray sitting at the table, but she wasn't so lucky. The door was locked, which prevented anyone from coming in and leaving her food. Rey carefully made her way down the hallway. She stopped near a door where she heard hushed voices. She recognized one as Finn's but was stopped from knocking on the door when she heard the tenor of the whispers. She didn't wish to interrupt. Rey was on her own in finding the kitchen, then. 

Rey crept around, surprised when she didn't run into anyone. She supposed that Rose was probably sleeping, and Ren had looked exhausted himself. It wouldn't have surprised her if everyone had dinner and gone straight to bed. Rey tried one of the doors she thought might lead her towards the kitchen, but she found herself standing in a still lit room. Lit by a fireplace. She didn't realize that someone was sitting in the chair nearby the fireplace at first, and when she did she made to back out of the room with apologies. 

"I wouldn't have expected to see you up at this hour," he said. 

She would have recognized Ren's voice anywhere. Rey turned to find him sitting in the chair. He had bathed and shaved the ghost of a mustache and beard that had been growing on his face, returning him to his sort of baby-faced openness. He looked revived. 

"We seem to always meet late at night," she replied. "Aren't you exhausted?" 

"I slept for a few hours right after dinner." 

Rey's stomach grumbled, as if in protest. 

"What are you reading?" She asked, talking over her stomach rumbling. 

"Oh, nothing," Ren quickly shut the book and set it aside. 

Rey tried to get a look at the cover, curious as to why he wouldn't tell her. 

"Are you hungry, my lady?" 

Ren seemed to have picked up all of the propriety they had left behind on the riverside when they'd slept together. Perhaps it was for the better. Rey frowned a bit, settling both of her hands on her stomach. 

"Starving," she admitted. "Would you mind directing me to the kitchen?" 

"What do you plan to do there?" he asked, a smirk on his face. 

"Make...something," she replied. 

"I'll show you." 

"That's...not necessary," she quickly replied. 

"Oh," he said. "It's down the hall, to the right. You'll know because the door looks different than the others." 

Rey turned away from him. She bit down on her bottom lip, remembering the question he'd just asked her. What was she going to do in the kitchen? She turned back around, finding that he was still looking at her, his eyes made glass by the light of the fire. 

"I...suppose I would appreciate it if you helped me. Though I've cooked a bit over the last week or so--" 

"Say no more," he replied, carefully getting up from the comfortable looking chair. 

"You were only supposed to be my bodyguard," she replied. "Not my cook." 

"I don't know why I can't be both." 

"I thought--" she began. "I thought we should see less of each other, now." 

An unreadable shadow passed over his face. And then, pain. She was sure of it. He recovered quickly enough. But...it was something. A brief something. 

"That will be difficult, considering we are to journey to Korriban together...but if it is what you wish," he said. 

_I know, Ren. You'll oblige._

He walked her to the kitchen in silence, his hands clasped behind his back. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself, pulling the robe more tautly against her frame to block out the chill. The kitchen was quiet and empty. All of the pots and pans had been put away for the evening, the counters cleaned and wiped down. 

"Maybe it's presumptuous of me to ask," he began. "But I will ask. Do you not love your husband, my lady?" 

Rey was certainly shocked that he had asked. She felt, for a brief moment, that the air had been taken out of her lungs. She tried to recover before she turned away from the food stores to look at him. The moonlight made him look soft and sharp at the same time. His face was difficult to read. 

"What's there to love?" She asked. 

"Certainly some has grown between you--" 

"No, none," she interrupted him. "It was an arranged marriage at my father's behest. He owned half of Manaan at the time. The King wanted to increase his holdings, and my father wanted to get rid of a daughter." 

"Brendol Hux was responsible for your marriage?" 

"Yes, but it had always been planned. I was brought to the palace when I was a young girl. Trained to be a Queen. The only time Hux has ever touched me was a peck on the cheek at special occasions." 

Ren's face indicated that he had made some sort of connection, but she couldn't guess at what it was. 

"And your father?" 

"Lor San Tekka," she replied, easily. 

Tekka had been dead for years. Rey could not really remember what he looked like. 

"Now I will ask you a question. What do you think you can solve by going to Korriban? Are you hoping he'll take pity on you? For all of your years of service?" 

"I believe the answers to be there, somehow. I'm not sure what guides me, but I am sure we will find some resolution there." 

"And if that resolution is death? What if he does tell you to turn your sword on me?" 

Ren looked genuinely injured by the sentiment. Rey immediately felt the guilt of it and reminded herself that she should never get sharp. She couldn't quite manage it as Finn could. Not without sounding unkind. 

"You believe me to be that type of man?" his voice was so soft and so small, her chest felt tight. 

_No! No._ She wanted to say, but she realized it may have been too late for that. 

"Forgive me," he whispered. "I had thought I made a different impression on you. I...believe I will go to bed. Goodnight, your highness." 

_Your Highness, again._

She watched him turn to go, and was quick to move her body from its restive state after him. 

"Ren, wait, please," she pleaded. 

He paused. He turned again to look at her, his face a mixture of injury and agony. She had hurt his feelings, she realized. 

"It's only that...you are so loyal to him." 

"I am loyal to the crown, my lady. And if he is truly responsible for the attempts on your life, then I no longer have any loyalty to him." 

Rey was the silent one, for once. 

"And," he continued. "Really, all promises have been broken in regards to the crown and myself. It is far more likely that you will order my death when all is said and done." 

"What?" Rey asked, surprised at his words. 

"If it truly is the King that is responsible...he has taken out a contract on my life, as well. It behooves us both to think more kindly of each other." 

"I do think kindly of you Ren, I--" 

Rey found herself looking at her hands. She had thought only of getting food and hadn't expected to end up in this loaded conversation with Kylo Ren. She was surprised when his hands engulfed hers. They were warm and dry. Steady. She always found herself entranced by how steady he always seemed.

"You said...that it was insanity." 

"It may well be, but that doesn't mean I would turn my blade on you at his word."

His feet were bare, just like hers, though his feet were a good deal larger than her own. He took a step closer to her. She couldn't muster the courage to look at him. She felt his hand leave hers, the other remaining in its place, warming her chilled fingers merely by resting there. Rey felt him place his hand on her face, knuckles brushing along her cheek before he coaxed her to look up at him. 

"I would never harm you, not intentionally," she whispered. 

"I feel the same," he answered. 

"But it may change," she protested, feeling her emotions betray her steeliness as tears began sliding down her cheeks. 

"Not for me," he pronounced. His voice was so subdued. 

_Sweet._

His fingers were in her hair, warm against her skull. This time when he kissed her, it was with full permission of his body. He didn't tense up and try to pull away. Rey thought she should but instead, she tilted her head up and met him halfway. He was gentle, careful. It gave her the opportunity to kiss him back without (completely) feeling as if she would be overwhelmed. 

She thought of what Hux had told her. 

_Once a Knight pledges himself to you, it's for life. They're like dogs, that way._

Rey reached out for him, her fingertips grasping around his biceps, pulling the fabric of his shirt taut. She could feel the strength of his muscles beneath, and her fingertips grasped at the warm skin. He leaned into her - they leaned into each other - and she felt the tickle of his fingertips as he undid the tie on her robe, his hands seeking out the warmth beneath it. 

They just wanted to touch each other, she could tell. 

There was a quiet sound of a creaking door and a click down the hallway, signifying a door that had opened and closed. Rey could hear the soft sound of footsteps, coming dangerously near. She was so fearful of Ren slipping away again, she held onto him tightly even as he pulled his mouth back from hers. 

They were still so close Rey's breath intermingled with his as they looked at one another in the dark. He ran his hand over her hair, and she felt the warm press of his lips on her forehead. 

"Goodnight, my Queen," he whispered, this thumb on her lower lip. 

This time when he said it, it felt less like an honorific and more like a term of endearment. _His_ Queen. Perhaps Rey was being romantic, but in his tone, there was a promise of so much more in darker hours than this - when they were alone without fear of interruption. So much more she hadn't even known she wanted until she had gotten to know him. 

She was forced to let go of him. 

She was alone again, in the kitchen.

The door opened. She could barely gather her thoughts in time to turn and look to see who had come into the kitchen alongside her. It was Finn. 

"Rey? What are you doing in here?" He got a good look at her face. "Are you well?" 

Rey cleared her throat, sure that her voice would betray her.

"I was hungry. I'm fine." 

"Oh, I can help you with that," he replied, though even he seemed to know something was amiss.

❂

Rey slept poorly, even after she had satisfied her growling belly.

She ached in places she was unaware she could ache in. 

She restlessly tossed and turned, and by the time the sun peeked into her window from behind the gauzy curtains, she was thankful to see it. It gave her an excuse to get out of bed. She washed her face and knotted her hair back into a loose braid. She got dressed in one of the more practical dresses she'd been given, something made of light gray linen without much extra to do. It was cool, however, and Rey was sure she would be thankful for it. She pulled on a flat pair of boots and made her way out into the hallway. 

She was greeted by Rose, first. 

"Breakfast?" Rose asked. 

"Yes, please," Rey replied. 

"You look tired," Rose pointed out. "Sleep well?" 

"I fell asleep too early, I believe. I woke up hungry and had a difficult time getting back to sleep." 

"We missed you at dinner," Rose said. "This way." 

Rose was always cheery, no matter what the circumstances. Rey thought that the ones they were in were fairly dire, but she was thankful for a safe place to put her head at night. Rose lead her through a few hallways, the mint-green gauze of her gown trailing out behind her. Beneath, however, Rey could see she wore breeches and boots, and the 'gown' was more of a 'shirt' with tails. The dining hall was sunny and opened out into windows that gave them a full view of the white sands and nature beyond. The breeze drifted in, still cool in the early hours. 

"Good morning," Poe said. 

"Good morning," both she and Rose responded at the same time. 

She couldn't help it, her eyes immediately sought out Ren. He was next to Finn, Finn who was already stuffing his face with whatever delicacies the island had to offer. Shellfish of some sort, to Rey's estimation. Ren looked at her, carefully. Poe seemed to notice that their look went on for a beat or two too long and cleared his throat, causing Rey to look back at him.

"Have a seat, your Majesty," he motioned towards one of the empty chairs. "I thought we could use this time to talk about our journey to Korriban." 

"Our journey?" Finn asked. 

"I'm not allowing you to go off without me," Poe said, his tone firm. 

"Can we all fit on that boat?" Rose asked, already exasperated with the thought of it. 

"You'll leave that boat here. I have one better." 

"Why do you want to come along, all of a sudden?" Finn asked. "Yesterday you could only tell me that it's madness." 

"It is madness. Do any of you know what's going on in Korriban, currently?" 

"I had some idea..." Rey said quietly. "But no. I must admit ignorance." 

"There is no reigning monarch in Korriban, currently. The old one appears to have gone missing." 

"So, who has control of the region?" Ren asked. 

It always surprised her when he spoke. 

"The Regent. Snoke. He has taken to taxing the land to such a degree that many who have held the land in their families for hundreds of years have been evicted...or they're given the choice to become serfs. Many who leave are forced into crime to survive. There's been rioting, bandits, all manner of devilry. The ones who are smart and can survive the journey made their way here." 

"We get it, it's dangerous," Finn muttered. "What does this have to do with anything?" 

"The last I recall, Hux was beginning to do much the same. Don't you think it's odd he should make his way over there at a time like this?" Poe looked directly at Rey. "Did he ever tell you anything of his plans?" 

Rey thought back. Before long, she was shaking her head. 

"No, he never did." 

"So what are you saying, Poe?" Finn asked. "You're helping these people militarize?" 

"Not exactly, but we have created our own sort of utopia here. Everyone has a use. My belief is that Hux is trying to take control of Korriban as well. Or, at the very least, he and Snoke are planning to do so. It will be more war, and famine, and those who will benefit will not be us." 

Finn looked shocked. Befuddled. And then, he looked irritated. 

"Now wait a minute," he replied, seeming to come to some understanding. "We're going to Korriban to find out if the King has been trying to kill the Queen, not to get involved in your land battle." 

"Before long, you won't have a choice," Ren murmured. 

"What do you care?" Finn asked. "You'll get your answers from him, whether or not they're truths, and go right back into his service." 

"No, Finn," Rey said, firmly. "Surely you see that even that isn't a possibility for him now...especially if Hux is responsible for all of this." 

"What was it you said to me?" Ren asked. "That I was in a unique position to protect her? What did you mean? Did you know what was happening?" 

Rey looked at Ren, who was looking at Finn. He seemed to know he was treading on dangerous ground, but he pushed on anyway. Finn looked outraged. 

"What are you accusing me of, Knight?" 

"That's enough," Rey said. "Both of you." 

"There were whispers," Finn finally said. Her words seemed to have stolen all the wind from his sails. "Whispers that he was ready to rid himself of a Queen, and find another more suitable. They talked about your inability to have children. If it was Hux, he seemed to spin the narrative that you were incapable of it. Barren." 

Rey heard the words, but it took her a few minutes to really understand them. She had known, she had always known that her husband did not care for her as she felt a husband should. It had been a transaction. She had not thought him to be capable of that. She felt as if she'd been kicked in the stomach by a horse. 

"Why did you never tell me?" Rey asked. 

"Because I was sure they were just idle whispers of bored courtiers." 

"It isn't true," she found herself saying...meekly. 

"Of course it isn't true," Finn said. "Nevermind the fact that Hux far prefers men to women, we all knew he had never touched you. The maids talk, you know." 

Rey was being confronted, all at once, with how much of her personal life was on display at the court. She had thought herself so good at holding her own secrets close to the breast, and now was realizing she hadn't done it well at all. 

"I've lost my appetite," she said, unwilling to break down at the breakfast table. 

She carefully placed her napkin at the table and stood up, her chair scraping loudly against the floor in a room full of silent people. She pressed her hand against her stomach, trying to physically steady herself before she made her way out of the room. She found herself outside, making her way down to the beach with quick steps. She heard someone behind her, and she half expected it was Ren, but when she felt the tentative touch to her elbow she realized it was Rose. 

"Are you well, your majesty?" 

"Ugh," Rey said, through her tears. "Please don't call me that. My queenship is apparently a sham." 

"I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Rey," Rose pointed out, forcing her to stop her furious walk. 

"I know he didn't," she sniffed. 

Rose handed her a handkerchief. Rey took it, wiping at her eyes and her nose. 

"Is that all I'm worth? To anyone? The viability of my womb and how much dowry I bring into a marriage?" 

"Of course not," Rose said, flatly. "If all of these things are true, Hux is worse than...than...barnicles clinging to the bottom of a boat!" 

Rey laughed, even as she cried. 

"Did you know?" Rey finally asked. "What was being said?" 

"No...but you know courtiers don't share much with me. Kaydel and Finn always act like I'm a child, and go off into a corner to whisper about items that don't concern me. Especially since my sister died...they both treat me like glass." Rose grasped her hands. "We are both clueless in this, at least." 

Rey frowned, grasping her friends' hands tightly.

Rose touched her face before grasping her around her arms. She led her back towards the house. They walked slowly so that Rey could recover. She wiped her eyes and nose until they both stopped dripping, and though her face was a bit red, she looked somewhat normal again. 

When they came back into the dining hall, Rey was surprised to find everyone still sitting there, in dead silence. Poe looked up at her and offered a sparse smile. 

"Are we all in agreement, then?" Poe asked. "To Korriban we go?" 

Rey sat back down in her place at the table. Rose took a moment to pour her a fresh cup of tea. It was the kind of tea that she recalled Ren liked to drink. Tea from his homeland. Korriban. It was all they could think of, these days. 

Everyone gave a subtle, and solemn nod. 

Poe was up from his seat in a blink. 

"Good. I'll start making preparations immediately. We'll go before the month is up." 

Rey thought about when the month was up. She had almost lost track of time aboard the sailboat, but she realized there were about three weeks left. 

And then, who knew what they would be facing?

❂


	12. Favors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "To what do I owe the pleasure?" He finally queried. 
> 
> "I wanted to get away from the house," she said. "And, well, there is something I would ask you..." She stammered a bit, seeming to need some help from him. 
> 
> "So then, ask," he said, his tone friendly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double update! some floff before i start hitting with the real stuff.

❂

Ren got a sense of tension as the week dragged out. He and Rey seemed to have come to a silent understanding that they shouldn't spend too much time in one another's company, which left him rather alone. Rose occasionally had a kind word for him, but Poe was often out of sight completely and Finn was still angry with him for what had happened at the breakfast table. Mostly, he was treated like a Knight, never to be seen or heard unless spoken to. Finn was a master of smoke and mirrors, he knew. And the man certainly didn't answer questions directly unless forced to...and Ren had noticed, only when Rey seemed to demand it of him.

Ren was full of restless energy. Poe had introduced them to the Island's inhabitants, and Ren often spent his days' training with the few that had combat training. It was something to do, something to occupy his thoughts. Something that wasn't Rey's silhouette, visible through the thin linen of her nightgown. 

_Something other than her._

It was difficult. They ran into each other often, and, giving their polite greetings in passing they always spent a moment too long in each other's company. Sometimes she would take his hand, and once they had even kissed after stealing a quiet moment away from the rest of the group. Still, Ren knew what they were doing was madness - if the others were to guess at it - it was likely only to make the upcoming journey more tense and strange. Though he suspected they might already know something was going on between them.

That particular morning, he had gotten dressed and made his way down to the beach. He had gotten accustomed to walking across the Island (it could be done in one day), just to have something to take him from the house. He struck out across the beach in the early hours of the morning, just as the sun was peeking pastel over the horizon. Ren always carried a knife in his boot, but he had taken to leaving his armor and cloak behind. Here, they knew his face, and he believed that for now, the danger was very little. No one liked the King, here. No one would follow his order. Also, it was just too hot during the day to go around in full armor. 

He had taken to wearing linen tunics tucked into brown breeches and a waistcoat made of simple black that went over the tunic. As if he didn't feel like he was becoming a buccaneer enough as it was, he certainly looked the part. It was a short distance into his walk when he realized he was being followed. He allowed it for a few moments, wondering at who it was. Whoever it was, they were making no attempts to disguise the fact that they were following him. 

Finally, he turned around to see that it was the Queen who followed him. 

She looked luminous in the early morning sun. She was wearing a pristine white dress, surprising as he hadn't seen her wear one in a few days. Her hair was half tied back, and Ren was sure after a second glance that there were gold stands threaded through it. Her lips were petal pink, her cheeks flushed with activity and her eyes bright with something he might have named as excitement. 

He waited, stepping forward carefully before they stood in front of each other on the beach. 

"Ren," she said, a bit breathless from her fast pace. 

"What is it? Is everyone well?" 

"Oh, no, it's nothing like that," she began. "I know you've been walking...I thought I'd join you. If you permit it." 

"Of course, my lady," he put out his arm, motioning that she should take the lead. 

She moved past him and after a few moments they fell into step together, though Ren was ever cognizant of the fact that his stride was much longer than hers, she kept up with him well enough. They walked in silence for a few minutes, though it was not an uncomfortable one. Being in her presence was like a balm, he realized. He did not feel strange or alienated when she was nearby. 

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" He finally queried. 

"I wanted to get away from the house," she said. "And, well, there is something I would ask you..." She stammered a bit, seeming to need some help from him. 

"So then, ask," he said, his tone friendly. 

"I wondered if you might do me a favor. In exchange for another favor, that is." 

He was curious, but he gave her enough space to continue on with her thoughts. 

"You're proficient with a bow and arrow, are you not?" 

"Proficient enough, why?"

It was not the question he expected she would ask. 

"I feel as if my skills might be...lacking...in the next part of our journey. You mentioned that I had good aim, that night...and I thought you might be willing to teach me." 

"Certainly, my lady, but there are more proficient archers...even here on this island that you might learn from. I am far more skilled with a sword. Why me?" 

"Well, you see -- " she paused. "A significant portion of our journey will be over water." 

"I am aware." 

"I thought I could teach you how to swim," she paused, stopping to look at him. "In exchange." 

Ren was a bit stunned. He didn't know what to say. Certainly, others had tried before. No one had succeeded and had been too fearful of his drowning to continue trying. 

"My Lady," he was the one to stumble now. "I'm not being hyperbolic when I say that it's nearly impossible for me to learn how to swim." 

"I don't believe that's true," she frowned. "There may come a time when...there won't be anyone around to help you, and -- " 

_And, what?_

"--and I would hate to hear of you drowning. It's really quite simple, swimming." 

"I would teach you the basics of the bow and arrow without an exchange," he emphasized. 

"At least let me try. If you nearly drown again, I'll give it up." 

He had to admire her determination. He didn't want to agree to this, it made him uneasy. He knew she might not forgive herself if he did drown. The look on her face was so hopeful, however, and it would give them a way to spend their days instead of tip-toeing around and trying to avoid more angry encounters with Finn (who had not yet completely forgiven them for even wanting to go to Korriban), or trying to stay out of Poe's way while he made his plans. 

_And you won't feel so alone, anymore._

She looked like she might have been feeling lonely, too. 

"Fine," he said. 

"Really?" 

"Yes, of course. Really." 

"Good," she said, her mouth breaking out into a full smile. 

She took his hand and lead him back in the other direction on the beach. 

"What, now?" He asked, surprised. 

"Yes, now. Did you have other, very important plans?" 

Ren had to admit that he did not, and allowed her to drag him helter-skelter, back across the beach.

❂

Rey had found a cove of sorts where the water was shallow and still enough to even consider swimming. They were able to get to it on foot. Ren was uncomfortable, even seeing the water reflected against the cave walls. It was so blue that he could see straight down to the bottom. There were spots where it was dark, indicating that those were likely the deeper waters.

"You're really intent on swimming now?" 

"We will start small," she said. "The shallow parts first. Blowing bubbles, kicking, that sort of thing." 

"Like I'm a child?" He asked though he realized he was trying to push this conversation to go on as long as it could. 

"Yes, a very large child," she pressed her lips together, trying not to laugh. 

He was so distracted by the water that he didn't realize she was undressing. 

"What are you doing?" he asked. 

"We can't swim in our clothes. Don't worry, it won't be like that night on the river." 

"Why would--" he stopped himself. 

_Why would I worry about that?_

"Go on," she said, holding her hands over her eyes. "I promise I won't look." 

Ren realized he was in a situation. He could either leave her there alone in the cave, and when she opened her eyes she would realize she'd been abandoned, or he could do as she asked. He went with the latter, unbuttoning his waistcoat and sliding out of it. He took his boots off, one by one, before slipping out of his shirt. When he looked at her again, he realized she was looking at him. He'd caught her out, and she quickly looked away and slipped into the water. 

Well, at least they were both wearing something. 

Rey took easily to the water. She had no apparent fear or discomfort. Ren had a difficult time even considering sliding into it, but she came up to the edge of the small pool and waited for him to gather the courage to do so. Finally, he managed to get both of his legs into the chilly water. 

"Not to push you before you're ready," she said. "But it's much better all at once." 

Finally, he hopped in with a bit of a splash. His feet found the bottom, and though he was expecting to freeze up - Rey quickly reached out for him and took him by the arms. She held him steady, making him feel as if he had a lifeline to hang onto should he drown. The water was cold, but she was right, it got better once he was fully submerged. 

They circled each other for a few minutes. She seemed to be allowing him time to simply get used to the feel of the water. Then, she did as she said she would do. She taught him how to blow bubbles, and kick. It was utterly ridiculous, though she never teased him, even talking to him of other things to avoid allowing the anxiety to really sink in. 

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" She asked when they were finished. 

They were both damp now, hair slicked back against their skulls. Ren found the courage to let go of her, for just a moment. He felt that familiar anxiety begin to seize him, and he lost his balance. Quickly, he reached out for her, wrapping his arms more fully around her than he intended. She grasped his arms, trying to help steady him. 

"No," he said, though he was a bit breathless. His heart was pounding in his chest, freeing him of some of his usual steadiness. 

Her fingertips crept up his bare chest, and he felt one hand press itself flat against the space over his heart. He wondered if she could feel it, thundering away in his chest. Little by little, he found that the simple pressure of her hand calmed his somewhat frayed nerves. 

"You have so many scars," she whispered. "Do you even remember them all?" 

"Many of them would be difficult to forget," he admitted. 

Her fingertips continued their exploration, tracing one rounded scar that rested at his shoulder blade. Someone had caught him with a pike. Finally, her fingertips traced the long scar that began above his eyebrow and continued its way down his cheek and chest. Her touch was maddeningly soft and curious. Under anyone else's scrutiny he might have faltered, but not hers. 

"How did this one happen?" 

"A bit of arrogance and a man who was very good with a hunting knife," he said. 

"Arrogance?" She asked, laughing. 

"Even I think too highly of myself, sometimes. That's usually how I end up with scars." 

"I see." 

Her cheeks were pink, though whatever sheepishness she might have been feeling did not stay her hand from wandering along the expanse of his skin. He had never felt much of a need to be unmarked in front of anyone, and he thought he should have felt self-conscious, but the Queen seemed to find his array of pockmarks and scars fascinating. 

"Do you have any?" he asked, suddenly. 

She looked up at him, confused. 

"Any what?" 

"Scars." 

"Oh!" she exclaimed. "Yes, one." 

Ren was forced to tilt his head to examine the scar on her upper arm. It looked like it had been made with a sharp blade. He was surprised he had never realized it was there before. 

"What happened?" 

"I don't remember, actually. It must've happened when I was very young." 

They were both afflicted with lost memories, then. 

"The King often told me how ugly it is, so I got used to wearing gowns with sleeves that at least covered it. He bought all manner of creams and fix-alls to try and get it to lessen. I suppose it did work...a bit." 

As far as scars went, it was fairly slight. The skin was white where the blade had damaged the flesh, though it wasn't an eyesore. He leaned down, pressing his lips on the flesh where the scar was. He heard Rey's uptick in breathing as his lips connected with her slightly chilly skin. Her skin left behind a salt-taste on his lips as he made his way up the soft curve of her shoulder. He pressed one last kiss to the curve of her neck. 

He heard a shudder in her breath as she released it. 

Before he went any further, he carefully pulled his mouth away from her skin. 

"It isn't ugly, my lady," he murmured. 

Ren was sure that there was no part of her that was truly ugly...not as he defined it, anyway. 

"Um," she stammered. "Neither are yours. Are you hungry?" 

_Gods, yes._

"I brought something for us to have for lunch." 

_Oh._

Ren was the first to get out of the water. He helped her out, lifting her up easily with one arm and steadying her on her feet. He looked away from her, painfully aware of how transparent all of her undergarments had become. She offered him a blanket and blissfully wrapped one around herself. They gathered what was left of their clothes and made their way out of the cave. 

It had gotten warm, and Ren was dry before he knew it, taking a moment to slide his tunic on. Rey remained wrapped in the blanket for a time, shuffling around like a small child as she laid out what looked to be a picnic for the two of them. 

"Did you make this?" he asked, somewhat facetiously. 

"No, I only packed it," she rolled her eyes, though he could see that she smiled. 

"How long have you been planning this?" he asked, sitting down atop the blanket as she finished. 

"I only thought of the picnic this morning." 

"Shall we start with the archery tomorrow?" he asked. 

"Yes, thank you," she seemed pleased with how their first lesson had gone, even though Ren hadn't actually swum - he was glad she hadn't forced him into it. 

She began drawing items out of the basket. Cold meat pie, fruits, cheese, and a bottle of something that resembled summer wine. They ate in silence for a few moments, and it was Rey who broke it first. 

"About what Poe said...about the King," she began, looking down at her tin plate still half full of food. 

Ren stopped eating, turning to look at her. 

"You must have been surprised to hear it." 

"Not exactly," Ren said. "There had been rumors about his preferences for years." 

"Oh," she replied. "I had always thought..." 

"What, your majesty?" 

"That it was me he did not prefer." 

He saw how it must have been, then. She had been a young girl who had been dealt a hand and had (perhaps naively), hoped to impress him. Perhaps she had even thought they might come to love each other, eventually. How it must have knocked her self confidence when he not only showed no interest in her but turned a chilly shoulder against her. 

"Have you ever been married, Ren?" She suddenly asked. 

"No," he said evenly. "I did not have much room for marriage as a Knight." 

"Have you..." she faltered. "Have you been with many women?" 

Ren was a bit alarmed at how forward she was with her questioning. He was unsure how to answer, so there were a few long seconds of silence between them. 

"Not...many, my lady. Some," he supposed that honesty was the best option. 

"What must it be like to be a man," she continued. "And take as many partners as you like." 

"No one would stop you at court, I am sure, my lady," he said, without judgment.

Rey looked flustered. He wondered if he had said the wrong thing, and the look on her face confirmed that he had. 

"I only mean that if it's what you truly wanted to do--" he stammered. "Apologies, my lady." He finally said, realizing that he might have overstepped his bounds. 

"It wouldn't...it wouldn't bother you?" she asked, suddenly finding the fraying edge of her blanket quite interesting. 

"I only wish for you to be happy, lady. You do not belong to me. You should act as you want, without regard for others." 

"But I want -- " she began. "I want to have regard for you." 

Ren realized he was being quite dense. It was perhaps why he had never been married. 

"Of course it would bother me," he finally said. 

"Did you...did you love any of them?" 

"No," he replied, flatly. 

_Not like I love you._

She looked eased. 

"Have you ever been in love, Rey?" 

She glanced up at him in surprise. She was chewing on her bottom lip in anxiety, and Ren set his plate of food aside. 

"No," she said. "I thought that I loved Hux...but I realize now that isn't what it was." 

Ren wanted to ask: what made you realize it? But, he didn't. He was looking at her in a way that could only be described as intense. He wanted to tell her, he wanted to tell her how he felt for her, but she was still married to the King, even if it was becoming patently clear that he had been at least partially responsible for the attempts on her life. 

_Just say it, Ren._

"I suppose we should head back," she said - before he got a chance.

❂

Ren was dreaming of water.

At first, it was just the subtle back and forth of the rocking of a boat. Then, the familiar shock of being plunged into the deep, dark water. He felt it engulfing him, filling his lungs and slowly draining the life from him. He heard a voice, a voice that was familiar to him - one that he hadn't heard in quite some time. He fought against the new set of hands that were holding him underwater, but his arms were small and he was running out of air. 

Someone was calling his name. 

Ben. _Ren._ **Ren!**

He woke up, trying to catch his breath. He felt someone's hands on his arms, and when he opened his eyes he realized that it was the Queen. 

"Ren," she was being as quiet as she could, though he could see Finn and Poe standing in the doorway in their bedclothes. "You were having a nightmare." 

"Are you well, Knight?" Poe asked, uncrossing his arms and lifting himself out of the doorway. 

"I am well. I am sorry to wake you all." 

"You were screaming," she said, dropping her hands back into her lap. 

"Perhaps it wasn't a good idea to try and teach you how to swim," Finn pointed out. 

She had told him, then. He felt a bit of relief, though, that they weren't doing it in secret. 

"Maybe not," Rey admitted, glancing back to her friend in the doorway. "I think he's alright. Please, go back to sleep." 

"Can I bring you some tea?" 

He didn't see, at first, who the voice belonged to. It was from Rose, and she stepped past the two men to poke her head into the room. 

"That would be perfect, thank you, Rose," Rey replied, looking back at Ren. 

Finn and Poe were the first to shuffle down the hallway in pursuit of their bed. Ren sat up against his own bed, running his fingers back through his hair. He had caught his breath, but the memory of his nightmare hung heavy over him. Rose returned shortly with a tray housing two mugs of steaming tea. Ren swallowed and sat up more fully, watching as Rey quietly thanked her and shut the door behind her after she'd left. It was unusual, having the Queen wait on him. He watched as she grasped one of the handles of the mugs and brought it over to him. Ren took it in hand, only staring into the murky depths of it before deciding to take a sip. 

Rey sat at his side, taking her own tea in hand and taking a few sips. They were quiet for a few long moments while Ren tried to reclaim his calm. 

"Were you dreaming of the water?" She finally asked, setting the mug aside. 

"Yes," he admitted. 

"Maybe we shouldn't continue on with the swimming lessons," she offered, sounding concerned. 

He set his empty mug aside, reaching out to take her hand. 

"No, it was truly a good idea," he replied. "We should continue." 

Ren knew he would have to face the memory sooner or later. And he knew he couldn't be a liability, he wasn't sure Rey would be able to drag him from the depths again. It had been lucky one time. 

Releasing his hand, Rey pulled her feet up onto the bed, underneath her nightgown. She wrapped her arms around her legs, watching him in the low light for a few moments. She had brought a candle in with her. 

"If you're well..." She began. "I will let you rest." 

He reached out for her hand, again. 

"Stay," he said, firmly. And then: "Please." A little more softly. 

"I'm cold," she said, quietly. 

And yet, she remained where she was, with no apparent thought of moving away from him. 

Taking this as a sign she might stay, he shifted out of his previous spot on the bed. He pulled back the blankets, an invitation that she should claim his spot (still emanating with his warmth). She hesitated before she decided on obliging him, slipping out of her robe and laying it aside before sliding into his bed. He pulled the blankets over her, and they laid like that, facing one another in silence. 

"Aren't you afraid they'll know?" she asked, finally. 

"I believe they already do." Ren pointed out that they had seen her in his room. 

"But if I should leave here in the morning..." 

"I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, Rey," he said, shifting atop the pillow. "If you wish to leave, you are free to." 

Instead, she scooted closer to him. 

"It's nice when you call me by my name," she murmured, sleepily. 

He wondered if she would have admitted to it, had she been fully awake. 

He also wondered if she would have been bold enough to press herself flush against him, forcing him to open his arms and wrap them around her. He didn't mind, he found the arrangement to be quite a comfortable one, excepting that her feet were very very cold against his leg. 

"Goodnight, Rey." 

"Goodnight, Ren," she mumbled, though she was already very nearly asleep.

❂


	13. Damnable Situations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Certainly, my queen," he said, his tone a bit playful. 
> 
> "I hate it when you call me that." 
> 
> "I know," he looked at her, finding she was closer than he had thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooh-wee. don't worry, these two will...climb?? each other?? like trees??? 
> 
> eventually

❂

Ren woke up with the weight of someone pressed against him.

The sunlight was warm in the window, and he realized that he had been allowed to sleep late. He had allowed himself to sleep late, it seemed. The sun was full in the sky when he peeled a bit of the curtain back to have a look. He caught her scent before he saw her, sweet and soft and threaded through with sleep. She was pressed back against him, and he could see the sunlight streaking across her bare, bespeckled shoulders that were browner than he remembered. Her hair curled around her neck and shoulders, and he had an overwhelming urge to reach out and touch her. 

He stayed his hand, gently shifting his arm out from underneath her as he tried to pry himself away from the bed. He didn't wish to disturb her, but he managed to anyway. 

She gave a sleepy hum and rolled over onto her back, her hand draped across her middle. The sun shone brightly on her face, and she squinted against it, lifting her forearm to shield her eyes from the onslaught. He felt her fingertips pulling at the back of his tunic, preventing him from going any further for the moment. He didn't know if she was awake, but when he looked back at her he saw that she was. 

"Good morning," she said, a soft smile on her face. 

"Good morning," he mutedly said. 

"Where are you going?" 

"I thought to let you sleep." 

She sat up, her gown slipping further down her shoulder. Ren forced himself to look at the ceiling. She draped her arms around his shoulders. The movement was done naturally as if they had been waking up in just this fashion together for years. He reached up, grasping her arm with his hand. Her skin was sun-warmed and rosy. 

"Can't we stay, just a moment longer?" 

"Certainly, my queen," he said, his tone a bit playful. 

"I hate it when you call me that." 

"I know," he looked at her, finding she was closer than he had thought. 

She was still smiling. He felt her put her hands on either side of his neck, her fingertips combing through the dark hair at his neck. She let them drift south, resting at his neck and collarbones before she leaned in, slowly. She leaned back just a tad as he leaned in, though she quickly closed the gap and pressed her mouth against his. Ren noticed she was growing bolder, and braver - kissing him instead of allowing him to simply kiss her. 

He tilted his head, leaning into her as she made quick work of exploring his mouth. The kiss snowballed into something more heated, Ren daring to reach out and grasp the top of her thigh with his hand, feeling the warm skin beneath the layer of oh-so-thin dressing gown. 

Ren felt his usually vice-like grip on his self-control slipping away. 

Rey was the first to pull back, causing Ren to lean forward in an attempt to chase her. He opened his eyes, his breath short and his grasp loosening on her. She looked...torn. 

Ren realized that perhaps she was not ready for anything more - and anything more he had no right to expect of her. He lifted his hand from her thigh, taking a moment to tuck a wave of dark hair behind her ear. What they were doing was bordering on treason, and if they pushed it any further they would certainly be acting in treason. It could result in much more than just a tryst. 

"Are you well?" he whispered. 

"Yes, of course," she breathed out. "I just --" 

"I understand," Ren said, simply. He brushed the side of her cheek with the pad of his thumb. 

"Do you?" 

"Yes," he intoned, quietly. "Shall we see if they left any breakfast for us? I believe I owe you an archery lesson." 

"Yes, you do," she replied. Before long, she was smiling again. "I'll go first." 

"I'll follow shortly," Ren said, unable to move from his spot without making it patently clear the kind of effect she had on him. 

Ren watched as she pulled on her robe and wrapped it tightly around herself. He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly in an attempt to steady himself. She came back around the side of the bed and gave him another lingering kiss. When she pulled back, he could feel her eyes on him as it took him a few moments to open his own. He finally did, just in time to see the door click shut behind her. 

When the blood in his veins chilled some, Ren got up from the bed and splashed his face with cold water. He got dressed and made himself presentable before heading into the small dining room where they had often breakfasted before. 

"Oi, sir," the cook said. "Yer the first to come down this mornin'." 

"Really," he said, interested. 

He supposed his late-night nightmare had kept everyone from catching a decent night's sleep. It made sense now that he and Rey had not been disturbed. No one had been up to do it. 

"'Ere's some tea, sir," she said, setting a mug full of it down in front of him as he took a slow seat at the table. "I'll get started with breakfast." 

Rose was the next to appear, looking more than a little ruffled. She yawned and stretched like a cat before plopping herself down in the seat across from him. 

"Mornin'," she uttered. 

They were both nursing the black tea when Finn and Poe came out, looking just a bit better than Rose did. They mumbled their salutations as well before sitting next to each other at the east end of the table. Two more mugs of tea were set down in front of them. By then, the smells of breakfast wafted through the house, and the sounds of food cooking were their only chorus. Ren looked up when Rey came in, dressed in breeches and a vest. She looked ready for archery, and was, perhaps not surprisingly, the most sprightly of them all. 

"Glad to see someone got some sleep," Finn mumbled over his mug of tea. 

"I got as much as you did," she pointed out, thanking the cook as the tea was set in front of her. 

"Could you at least have the decency to look as poorly as the rest of us, then? You're making us all look bad." 

"Speak for yourself, Finn," Rose said, chucking one of the oven-warmed rolls at him. 

He caught it and took a bite out of it. Poe watched the interaction with some interest before reaching for one of the rolls himself. Blissfully, breakfast was served moments later. The first part of the meal was spent in relative silence as they gorged themselves, but as they slowed polite conversation began to flow between them. It was surprising, considering the relative hostility of the last meal they'd shared together at that very table. 

"I'm sure you two have plans this morning?" Finn asked, eying Rey. 

"Ren's going to teach me the basics of a bow and arrow," Rey said, her voice chipper. 

"Interesting," Poe said. "It would be a useful skill to have, certainly." 

"What about everyone else?" Ren tried. 

Everyone looked at him, blinking in surprise for just a few moments. He quickly looked back down at his plate, shoveling more food into his mouth. 

"I have some items to finalize with the boat, and then I will require all of your assistance in gathering and packing. Next week, I believe." 

"I was going to get drunk before noon," Finn murmured. "But I should like to see Rey with a bow and arrow. Might I tag along?" 

Rey looked at Finn, a bit surprised at his general joviality. He looked at Rey as if to signify: I don't mind, it's up to you. 

Rey took the signal and nodded her head, putting another fork full of food into her mouth and chewing before she spoke again. 

"Certainly, though promise me you aren't coming along just to tease me while I learn." 

"I promise," Finn murmured. 

"Might I come along, too?" Rose asked, her eyes wide and blinking. 

"Of course," Rey said, after a moment's pause. 

"I feel quite left out," Poe said, smiling. 

After they had breakfasted, the four of them walked out to the make-shift arena that had been set up in the wake of the Island having new residents. Ren had been there before more than once and was greeted warmly enough to surprise the rest of the group. They were kind enough to help him with what would be required - something for Rey to hit with arrows - and they set up a bullseye to give her something to practice with. 

Ren showed her the basics of it. She fired off a few arrows. The first of them wobbled or headed straight for the ground. But then as she got the feel of the bow, she began to come into her own with it. Ren could see her working through the learning process with remarkable speed. Eventually, she was hitting the bullseye without much trouble at all. 

Ren left her to practice, moving to carefully join Finn as Rose got up and tried to learn some tips from the new master. Ren was sure there was more to learn, but what he had available in his retinue she mastered with remarkable ease. 

"She's smart, eh?" Finn said, his eyes on Rey. 

"Yes, remarkably." 

"Are you surprised?" 

"No." 

"Yes, I suppose you have been around longer than I. You knew her when she was a girl newly come to the palace." 

"Not well," Ren admitted. "I believe I frightened her then." 

"You certainly did," Finn laughed. "She's told me of it." 

Ren smiled, just a bit. 

"How did you come to be at the palace?" Ren asked. 

"Oh, it's what we do when we have a good deal of money," Finn said, nonchalantly. "I stayed for her. She seemed...fragile. I suppose I was wrong about that." 

"Are you from the Isles?" Ren continued to pepper him with questions. He was chatty. 

"Yes. My father owns the entire thing," he admitted, bored. "That emerald green fabric dye? He owns all of the rights to it and charges far too much money for it. It's made from the jade beetles that overrun the island. Mostly from their feces. Isn't that charming?" 

"I see." 

They sat in silence for a few moments. Ren was considering never wearing emerald green. 

"What will you do, if the King does have something to do with all of this?" 

"I do not know," Ren said evenly. Honestly. "But I will not turn my sword on her. It would be like cutting off my own arm." 

Finn looked...aghast. 

"Does she know that you feel this way?" 

Ren shook his head. It didn't matter if she knew it or not, she had not intended it...she had not intended for him to pledge himself so fully to her without speaking of it. She had only asked him to keep her safe, she had not asked him to fall in love with her. 

"For my part," Finn began. "I have a bad feeling about Korriban." 

Finn shifted back atop the blanket he'd laid out, grabbing some of the fruit that had been brought out for lunch. He ate lazily, continuing to watch Rose and Rey fire off arrows, pluck them from the board and try again. 

Ren remembered the small blue book in the library and wondered if he too did not have a good feeling about Korriban.

❂

As the week wore on, he saw less of the Queen. She was taken with her new hobby, and Ren realized he had quickly run out of things to teach her. He approached a man on the island who had a good deal more experience with it than he did, and was forced to hand her off to him instead. Ren did not mind, it only mattered that she learned as much as she wanted to by the end of their time there.

He could not help but wonder if their encounter that morning meant she was avoiding him, just a little. 

Ren realized they were quickly running out of time, as each morning Poe drew ever closer to finalizing his plans for their departure. Ren realized he was going to have to say goodbye to the soft bed and the surety of a full belly - but it was nothing he hadn't done before. 

He had gone through his belongings and scrounged up whatever gold he could manage to buy her a gift, a gift he was sure she would find useful in the coming days. 

His swimming lessons sort of went to the wayside. 

One morning, Rey had breakfasted before the rest of the group and had made her way out to the courtyard alone. Ren had decided that he might try to visit the cove on his own. He remembered the way. As he stood in front of the small pool, he realized how stupid he was being, but something was driving him to at least give it another try. 

He undressed and slid into the cold water. 

Ren remembered what she had taught him. He expected to feel the familiar panic seize him, but as he moved through the water, he was remarkably free of it. Feeling brave, he submerged himself fully. He closed his eyes, allowing the strange silence of water to overtake him. There was nothing, only the sound of his own thoughts. 

He found himself slipping into sort of a fugue state. 

He heard a woman screaming. It was muted, at first, blocked out by the dark water. 

_Not my son! Not my son! I'll do anything, please._

She was begging, pleading. Screaming and sobbing. 

Ren heard the familiar sounds of splashing - felt the large hands around his neck. 

She kept screaming. 

_Send him away._

Another voice said, male. The pressure on his throat let up, inky black spreading out behind his eyelids. 

_Send him away or I'll finish the job._

This was somewhat of a mercy, he somehow knew. 

_Ben._

His mother. It was his mother. 

Ren opened his eyes. He kicked his way to the surface, breaking free of the dark quiet and taking in mouthfuls of air, nearly gasping for it. 

He had not drowned. His limbs had not seized in panic. Ren had to wonder if what he was left with was not worse than that, however. 

He swam to the edge, finding it came easily now - as if some part of his mind had locked his knowledge of it away until he'd remembered why he couldn't swim anymore. He lifted himself out of the water, dripping wet, and set himself on the edge of the pool with his feet still in the water. He did not know how long he sat there. He ignored the rumblings of his stomach and the ever-present shifting of time. There was nothing outside of the cave. 

Ren was grasping at straws, trying to hold onto the smokey tendrils of memory that were threatening to slip away from him. Why couldn't he remember their faces? Why couldn't he remember her face? 

Were these memories even his, or a monstrous trick of his mind? 

He didn't even realize there were voices outside of the cave, speaking in muffled, angry tones. Someone else was calling his name, again. He barely recognized it, until the voice was right against his ear. 

"Oh, Ren," she said, concern heavy in her tone. "Are you alright?" 

It was the Queen. 

"I'm so sorry, Ren. I didn't keep my promise," Rey was speaking through her tears, which she tried to wipe away with glove-clad hands. "Are you well?" 

She was looking over him, trying to seek out signs of bodily harm. He supposed he had none, only the fog of memories that had come up like vomit, long buried. The others followed her into the cave shortly. They had been out searching for him. It was the first time he realized how dark it was - Finn and Poe were carrying torches. He wanted to apologize, but he could not find his voice. 

Finn handed Rey a blanket, and she wrapped it around his upper half, coaxing him into a standing position. 

He was forced to follow them, deaf and mute for the moment.

❂

Ren didn't like the fuss, but he didn't stop it. The doctor was called to make sure he was well, and when he was pronounced as such, the others began rustling around to light the fire and make sure he wasn't going to freeze to death. When he was dry, he was left alone for just a moment to change into a fresh pair of clothes that had been left out for him. He sat in front of the fire, still feeling dazed and confused.

A hot meal was placed in front of him. 

It felt as if everyone else was moving at twice the speed he was. He even heard them speaking of him as if he wasn't there. 

"He's been acting strangely since he began swimming," Finn pointed out. "Will he be well enough to even accompany us? He hasn't said a word since you found him." 

"I don't know, Finn," Rey said, concern heavy in her tone. "He didn't drown...I can't account for it. I shouldn't have been avoiding him." 

"Why were you, anyway?" Rose piped up. 

"I don't know. I was afraid." 

"He's fine, Rey," Poe reassured her. "Let's all go to bed and give him some space to rest. You shouldn't blame yourself for it. It seems as if it's more than we might know." 

There was silence then, and he thought he was alone. Some feeling came over him, then, the same feeling he'd had when he'd been sent away. Who had sent him away, and why? Ren could not remember, he could only remember the feeling of it. Confusing and painful. He was alone. Or at least, he thought he was. 

He looked up to find that the Queen had crept back in, and was sitting beside him on the bed. She reached out, and with a cool palm, pressed it against his forehead. He briefly looked at her before his eyes found the quilt. She had been avoiding him. 

"What happened?" She asked, quietly. 

"Nothing, your highness." 

"Ren," she sighed out, helplessly. "Please, tell me." 

"I am not lying. Nothing happened. I swam, and then...a memory came up." 

"A memory?" 

"It isn't important, my lady. I don't wish to burden you with it." 

Rey looked like she was going to cry. 

"Please, don't cry," he finally said. "It was my own foolishness to go out there alone. You aren't to blame." 

"I broke my promise to you. I promised you I would teach you how to swim." 

"And you did. I didn't drown." 

"Ren..." 

"You should get some rest, my lady." 

"Please, I know you're pushing me away, I didn't...I was afraid," she stammered. 

"Afraid of what?" 

"Afraid I would disappoint you. I'm not as worldly as other women, and--" 

"And you thought I would find myself unhappy with you?" 

"Yes. Afraid you would suddenly lose interest, or realize who it was you were looking at." 

There was silence between them. A long silence. 

"It was a memory of my mother," he said, suddenly. "And of the day she sent me away from home. It was a few cobbled together pictures. Someone was drowning me, and she begged for my life. That is all I was able to remember." 

"Oh," she whispered as if his sudden catatonic state suddenly made sense.

"Furthermore, there is a long list of reasons why I might find you much more appealing than other women, and very few of them have to do with how worldly you are. Simply because the King overlooked you does not mean I will." 

"What reasons?" she asked her expression one of shock and awe. 

"You're smart, kind, and determined. You were kind to me even when you were fearful of me. You saved my life." 

She looked down at the quilt. She was fidgeting. She didn't know what to say, it was clear. 

"I love you, _my_ queen," he blurted. "Whether or not you decide to discard me, my heart and my loyalty are to you. I expect nothing of you that you are not ready or willing to give me, but you may always make use of me." 

Perhaps it wasn't the most eloquent thing to say, but Ren had done his best in blurting out his feelings unasked. He had not meant to, thought it better not to, but it seemed he couldn't contain it any longer. Her features contorted into outright agony. It wasn't what he had been expecting when he told her he loved her. She put her face into her hands and began to sob, her slight shoulders shaking with the emotion. Ren sat up abruptly, grasping her shoulders and looking at her with worry. 

He could imagine what Finn might have said: _Even when he's making love to a woman he makes her cry._

"What is it?" 

"Oh," she looked up at him, her eyes sparkling with tears. "We are in such a damnable situation." She sniffed. 

Ren couldn't help the relieved and bemused sound that escaped him. She began to laugh, and as he wiped the tears from her cheeks, so did he.

❂

Poe made good on his promise in the upcoming days. He put them to work, assisting with the assortment and packing of supplies on the ship. It was a great, monstrous thing that looked like a dragon of sorts - with small paddles sticking out of its belly, plunged into the water. Poe was proud of the boat, having engineered it himself. It was automated, he claimed, and they would not need to employ a set of men to paddle it. Finn made Poe promise that he would not end up having to do it, once or twice. It was larger than their own, for certain, but not so large that they would be noticed everywhere they went.

Ren was glad for the work - it gave him an excuse to empty his mind. 

Ever since his awkward confession, things felt new and fresh between him and Rey again. Raw. He was unsure of how far to tread, and if he should just let her make up her own mind without interference. He tried to tell himself that that was the right thing to do. 

He wished he had someone to ask about it. He was sure that the others had noticed the apparent chill. 

They packed their things, and before long, the morning came when they were to depart. 

It was before sunrise, and still chilly. They all had packed what they would need previously, carrying with them what they hadn't been able to put on the boat. There were a few that came to the beach to say goodbye and help them into the water - but it was a quiet affair. The Island would wake up and find that they were gone, and someday perhaps question that they were ever there at all. 

Ghosts. 

They were all to take on a role aboard the ship, though that first day they were allowed to simply get used to the fact that they were aboard yet another boat. Ren felt trepidation, but not because he was afraid of the water. His fear of the water had left him that night in the cave, he was sure he would not drown again unless it was absolutely out of his control. 

There were small holds below deck, and they each took one. There was a small kitchen of sorts, stacked half full with stocks of dried meat, flour, salt, sugar, and tea. Fresh produce would go quickly, but they had packed what they could of it without fear of it going bad too quickly. Poe had already mapped out their journey, and he had pinpointed where they would stop to restock their supplies. 

Ren thought that his gift for the Queen might go untouched if he didn't give it to her as quickly as possible. 

He pulled it from his belongings, still in a case. He found her above deck, standing in the sun with her face tilted up to the warmth. They were all dressed in practical clothing, though he was sure he should take a snapshot in his mind of what they looked like today - when it was all said and done they would be completely different clothes. 

Ren carefully placed himself beside her, but he kept his distance. She finally turned to look at him, her hand lifted up to shade her eyes from the sun. 

"I meant to give you this before we left the Island, but I didn't get a chance to," he offered up the large case to her. 

"What is it?" She asked, surprised. 

"Open it," he said. 

She did, and inside she found a bow and arrows. 

"Oh, Ren," she ran her fingertips down the weapon. "It's lovely, thank you."

"You're welcome." 

He gave her a small bow of his head before turning to leave her in peace. 

"Ren! Wait a moment, if you would." 

He paused in his movement, turning back to look at her. She looked determined, her hands balled into fists at her sides. 

"I love you too," she finally said, after chewing on her words for what seemed like forever. "And even if you discard me, my heart is yours. You can always make use of me." 

Ren looked astonished, he was sure. She was shouting it, over the din of the sea, her new weapon still in her hand. One might have believed her to be Cupid. Ren smiled, though he heard the distinct sound of someone clearing their throat. He turned away from her, and to his dismay, saw all three of their companions standing there. Rose chewed an apple, her eyes wide as she looked over the scene. Finn and Poe looked just as astonished as he felt. 

"It's going to be a long trip, isn't it?" Finn asked.

❂


	14. Missing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Parties haven't gone so well for us, thus far," Finn said. He had snuck up on them, a pint of ale in hand.

❂

"Tell me, your highness," Finn began. "What do you plan to tell the King when we do find him? That you're in love with his favorite Knight and that you're sorry, you don't want to be married to him anymore?"

Rey's moment, her confession, had been ruined fairly quickly by Finn's pestering. He followed her back through, down into the below deck, his rant seeming neverending. Ren followed shortly behind, and then Poe, and then Rose. They were a trail of ducklings, and Rey just wanted to get away from the onslaught. 

"Of course not, Finn," She finally turned around, realizing it was better to face him head-on. 

Finn almost bumped into her, he was so set on his path. 

"Finn," Poe began. "They couldn't have helped it, being so thrown together-" 

"Having one iota of rational thought might have stopped it," Finn looked directly at Ren. 

"What problem is it that you have with me, Finn?" Ren asked, his voice dangerously quiet. 

"I have no problem with you, Knight," he shouted. "Only that you are not to be trusted and this is insanity!" 

"Not to be trusted? Haven't I made it clear my intentions are honorable?" 

"Oh, are they? And yet, you've seduced her." 

"He hasn't seduced me, Finn," Rey replied, her voice rising in pitch. 

"It is..." Rose peeped. "Unusual, your majesty." 

"Yes, it is," Poe agreed. "But surely the two of you don't mean to take this any further?" 

Poe seemed to be asking them to make promises. It was a promise Rey did not want to make, nor did she think she could keep. She took one look at him and everything in her sung out like someone had plucked the string on a lute. Ren and Rey looked at each other, and she recognized the elation mixed in with agony on his features. It wasn't what he wanted either, she was sure. 

"Surely, for the comfort of everyone aboard...it is better that you don't take it any further," Poe said, his tone reasonable and metered. 

"I don't mind," Rose said, and Finn glowered at her. "I'm sorry, it's just that she's so happy...nevermind." 

Rose finished her apple in silence. 

"I apologize, Ren," Finn finally said after a few long moments of silence. "It's only that I know how treason is treated in court." 

It was a cold, hard check. Reality seeped in, and Rey realized that Ren had been right to be trepidatious. They both had been. 

"Can we all agree that for the moment, it is better that it go no further?" Poe tried, again. 

Rey and Ren looked at one another again. They both nodded at the same time. 

Rey had felt like the sweet summer wine just moments before, full of sparkling bubbles that threatened to lift her into the sky - and now she felt as if someone had shaken her up and caused her to go flat. Finn was the first to leave them. Poe gave Ren a pat on his shoulder and followed after him. Rose frowned and followed shortly thereafter, leaving the two of them alone together, as if they were testing out their new promise. 

She felt the tears stinging her eyes. 

Ren stepped forward, carefully placing his hands on her shoulders. 

"Nothing changes, Rey," he said. "I'll wait. Forever, if I have to." 

"We both will."

For some reason, Rey fully believed that he would. 

She leaned up and pressed a quick kiss to his lips before she stepped past him, leaving him alone below deck. 

The next morning, they all took up their jobs. Rose cooked, Rey cleaned. Poe busied himself with making sure they stayed on course, and Ren and Finn took up the rest of it, making sure that the boat was in good shape. If they stayed on course, they would be aboard a week before they took to port at the first port Poe had laid out for them. 

Relations weren't exactly tense, instead, there was a begrudging acceptance of the situation. Finn and Ren worked rather well together, Rey was surprised to find, but she could not account for Finn's temper. She wondered if it was less to do with her, and more to do with the fact that Ren was a Knight. Finn had never cared for Knights, but she was beginning to suspect there was more of a reason for it he had yet to share with her. 

Rey found it more difficult than she would have thought. She missed Ren, and though they were polite with each other, she found herself wanting to creep into his cabin and share all of her daily woes with him. She missed the smell of him and the feel of his lips on hers. She missed his steady voice, his quiet smile, and his general comfort. 

Not being around him when he was so near was agonizing. 

It was so excruciating she was having trouble sleeping at night. 

Sleeping on a ship was uneasy, at best, but there were times when she woke up in the middle of the night after having some foggy, warm dream about Ren's head betwixt her thighs. If this was desire, she was beginning to know why some people went mad with it. She wondered if he felt the same, and if he was having trouble sleeping - plagued with delicious, painful dreams. 

The only thought that helped her back to sleep was that he was.

❂

By the time they made it to the first port, they were all tired. A storm had disrupted them and thrown them off course, meaning that they had reached their destination a week later than Poe had intended. Rey was thankful to see the port, but she realized that even she was tired of the sea. She would be thankful when they reached the shores of Taris and could follow the land through into Korriban.

She had stopped thinking of what might happen when they were in Korriban, only that it would be nice to be on steady land for a while. It would be nice to have a resolution, too, but Rey was less hopeful that one would be forthcoming...at least not with ease. 

They reached the port at midday, and they watched above deck as they docked. Ren stood at the bow, wearing a cloak over his roughspun clothing. Rey found she kept looking for reasons to look at him, and she grew so frustrated with herself that she turned her back on him completely. She had, however, noticed the dark circles underneath his eyes. 

In a brief moment when no one was looking at them, Ren reached out and gave her a soothing squeeze around her waist. It took everything she had not to lean against him and just melt, but she managed it well. As his hand drew away from her, she committed the feeling of it to memory. She wished now that she had spent much more time kissing him before she had stupidly told him she loved him in front of everyone. 

Rey knew that it was likely to come out sooner or later, especially since they were all sharing such close quarters. 

She just wished she'd realized it. 

Poe came up as they docked, and they watched the men haul the ship and tie it off. 

"Someone should stay with the boat," he said. "And I believe it should be you, Ren." 

"Why Ren?" Rose asked. Even she looked tired. 

"I'm sure that the news that you've murdered the queen has come as far as even this. She is easier to disguise than you are." 

"That isn't fair," Rey said. 

"No, he's right," Ren agreed, flatly. "I will remain." 

"Good, that's settled," Poe said, clapping his hands together. "We'll be back by sundown."

"I will watch for you." 

"Rey...put this on," Poe tossed her a mask that would cover half of her face. "And pull up your hood, just to be safe." 

Rey did as she was told, realizing it was better. She would not risk being found out in a port city as large as this one, but she was uneasy about leaving Ren behind. 

"Shouldn't one of us stay behind with him?" she asked. 

"No, we need everyone to help carry supplies back," Poe was insistent on it. 

Rey had to wonder if he was looking for a reason to make sure they kept to their promises. 

They made their way onto the port. Rey looked back at Ren, finding he was looking down after them - his eyes solely on her. She frowned beneath her loaned mask, her feeling going from uneasy to unsettled. Carefully, she lifted her hand and waved to him, wishing she had taken a moment to give him a better goodbye. 

_Stop it, Rey. You'll see him again in the evening._

But Rey's feeling of uneasiness didn't leave her as they found their way to the market together. Finn was quick to separate from them, finding the nearest stall that sold cheap wine. He hadn't had a drink in a few weeks, and Rey was beginning to think it was wearing on him. Rose followed. 

"I'd better keep an eye on him," Rose said. 

"Make sure he doesn't get too drunk," Poe said. "A worthy task, I know." 

Lehon was a city of sleeping ancients, long laid to rest. Rey could see the spires of their temples shooting high into the sky. They had not been used for worship in some time, having been repurposed to support a thriving port city as it outgrew its initial shoes. The priests of Lehon had long since moved on or died. The only people that remained in this city were interested in trade, and trade alone. It was a beast that hurtled along into the new century. 

Rey helped Poe with his purchasing, but she had set aside what was left of her own allowance with another task in mind. Ren had bought her a weapon, and she had a mind to return the favor. Just because they had promised not to take their relationship any further didn't mean that Rey could not give him a gift. She found it was harder than she thought it might be. Ren needed so little, and he often didn't concern himself with items unless they were necessities. 

It was late in the evening when the sun was finally dropping into the horizon and they had nearly finished their chore when the amber glow of a glittering trinket caught her eye. It was amber colored, and inside there seemed to be a dark, glittering insect. It was alarming, but somehow still beautiful. 

"Ah," the stall master said. "A very pretty piece. I have it on terms it came all the way from Korriban." 

Rey looked up at him, surprised. 

"It's true," he said, plucking the brooch up and handing it to her. "You'll see within the flames of Korriban." 

"How much?" she asked. 

She didn't know what came over her, but she knew she had found the perfect gift. He asked for too much at first, but then she was able to talk him down to a more reasonable price. She did not know if it came from Korriban, but the color of it reminded her of Ren's eyes, and she could see him pinning it onto his cloak in some distant future when he might be allowed to be a Knight again. 

The merchant put the pin in a silk bag and tied the string. Rey took it in hand and slid it out of sight, thinking to keep it hidden until she could give it to him without the two of them being watched. Poe had found Finn, who she was thankful to see was not too drunk. Poe had a bit of gold, and they had a bit of time, so they stopped at a nearby tavern and had a meal before making their way back across the city to the port. 

The scene they were presented with was off, but it took even Rey a few moments to figure out exactly _why._

The boat was gone. And Ren was gone with it.

❂

"I should have guessed he would take the boat," Finn said.

"He couldn't have," Poe pointed out. "He had no idea how to work the automation." 

"He couldn't have figured it out after weeks of watching you?" 

"He wasn't watching me," Poe was sure. "Stay here, I'll ask the dock hands." 

Rey felt like panicking, but she was too far into shock to really do so at the moment. The boat was gone. Just gone, like mist. And along with it, Kylo Ren. Rey realized the ominous feeling she had all day long must've stemmed from this, and she walked back through her memory of the day to try and see if she had seen anything unusual at all. 

She did not believe for one moment that Ren had stolen the boat and left her, though it was the first conclusion that Finn had jumped to. She shakily sat down at the nearest bench. Rose sat next to her, reaching out to grasp her hand. 

"They won't tell me anything," Poe said, putting his hands on his hips. "Did he say anything to you?" 

"About stealing the boat? No, of course not." 

They all sat in silent horror, working through the ramifications of this. 

"He's hurt," Rey said. "It's impossible that someone could have taken that boat without him fighting it." 

"What makes you so sure?" Poe asked. 

"I just...I know him. He believed that going to Korriban was the best thing to do. He wouldn't have left us like this." 

Finn moved to speak. 

"Finn, before you open your mouth, can you please consider that perhaps Ren didn't steal the boat?" 

"Where would it have gone? Who else could have done it?" 

"I don't know. I do know that the dockhands were fairly chatty until I brought it up. I think if we spend more time asking around tomorrow we might gather some more information. Let's not jump to conclusions, Ren may very well be hurt." 

Finn looked down at his boots and began scuffing the pavement with his toe. 

"Why are you so quick to blame him?" Rey asked. 

"I don't want to talk about this. I'll be at the local tavern." 

"Finn," Poe tried but was ignored. 

"Gods, what a mess," Rose said. "What will we do now?" 

"Follow Finn. I'm sure they'll have rooms to let until we can figure out a better plan of action." 

"What about Ren?" Rey asked, more shakily than she had hoped. 

"He's a Knight, Rey. We have to believe that he can look after himself." 

It was easy to forget the rumors of how dangerous Ren was when the man she dealt with was so markedly different from what they espoused. Rose helped Rey out of her sitting position. Poe had gotten a few steps ahead of them, trying to keep Finn in sight while he stomped down the busy street. He finally ducked into a rowdy looking tavern that was near full already with half drunk men and women. 

They followed. 

Poe rented rooms for the four of them, which cost more gold than it should have. The man didn't like the idea of housing women, and Poe had to do some fast talking about how they were his sisters on their ways to be wed off to some rich landowners at the edges of the city. Rose did a good job of looking vacant, while Rey's sarcastic expression was (thankfully) hidden by the mask on her face. 

"She's even too good to breathe the air, ey?" 

"Something like that," Poe laughed as he handed over the gold. 

It was a laugh too boisterous to be real. 

They were shown to rooms that looked like they hadn't been properly cleaned in months. Rey was unsure about sleeping on the straw-filled mattress, sure she would come away with all manner of friends that might feast on her during the night. 

A gray looking stew was sent up to them with heels of dark, stale bread. Rey found she had no appetite, but she got what she could down of the bread and some of the stew, washing it all down with ale that was closer to vinegar than anything else. They were a markedly silent group. It was beginning to settle in on all of them that they were stranded in an unfamiliar city and they'd lost their only means of transportation out of it. 

It was dire.

❂

Rey didn't sleep well. When the sun came through the window it gave her a pounding headache, and she woke up with the realization (and panic), that Ren was gone.

Would she ever see him again? 

Was he even still living? 

Rey forced herself not to think of it. She had just...realized how she felt, and now she had to try and imagine a world without him? It was too unkind, even for her to consider. 

Poe banged on their doors, shouting something about how they all needed to be downstairs in twenty minutes. 

Rey splashed cold water on her face and tied her hair back. She put the mask on and pulled her hood over her head, sparing one glance at herself in the mirror before she followed his instructions and went downstairs. The last one down was Finn, who looked like he was nursing one hell of a hangover. Poe handed him something that looked disgusting and told him to drink it. 

They ate breakfast in silence, seeming unable to strike up even the smallest conversation. 

Poe finally took up the reigns, swallowing down his tepid tea and setting the mug firmly back atop the table. 

"We have to try and find out where the boat was taken. The only way I can see to do that is to start asking around. We should split up to cover more ground." 

"I don't know this city well at all, Poe," Rey said. 

"I purchased a map. I circled a few spots it might be a good idea to start with. If people clam up like they did last night, we might have to find another way around this...like money...but let's start here first." 

Rey didn't like the idea of this, but she realized they didn't have much more of a choice. They would run out of money eventually, and they had to try and find a way out of there. Eventually, she wagered, Poe would find a ship that would take them closer, but as far as she knew none of these boats were crazy enough to take them into Korriban, one of the most unsettled regions in the world. 

No one wanted to go there unless they had to. 

"Rey, you'll come with me," Poe said. "Finn, go with Rose." 

There was a grumble of acknowledgment, though no one seemed particularly thrilled about the new plan. 

Poe and Rey made their way out onto the streets. Poe did most of the talking, considering Rey's mouth was obstructed. He asked around, varying his question enough so that people might take notice. Had boats been disappearing? Poe was right, most people clammed up when it was mentioned, leading them both to believe that something more was going on than Ren having just absconded with their only means of transportation. 

Rey satisfied herself that something else was going on. Definitely. When Poe started offering up money, they had few takers - which was surprising in and of itself, considering how the city ran on the money. It was growing later, and Rey realized they were going to have to head back to the grubby Inn with no further ideas where the boat, or Ren, had gone. 

They were certainly beaten as they made their way back to the tavern. 

"We might have to seek out another vessel," Poe said to her as they walked, slowing down. 

Neither of them particularly wanted to be in the Inn, that was for certain. 

"There they are!" 

They heard Rose shout. She ran up to them, looking a good deal more excited than they felt. She grasped Rey and Poe's hands and pulled them towards the Inn. 

"Hurry, hurry. We've got some news!" 

"Rose, what is it?" Poe asked. 

"When we're inside, come on," She dragged them along, pulling them into the bustling Inn. 

"Where's Finn?" 

"I don't know...he was here a moment ago. Oh well, I'll tell you." 

"Tell us what?" 

"We asked around today. We heard something really interesting. It isn't unusual for the "government" here to take foreign ships and charge a tax. When the owners can't pay the tax, they auction them off to the highest bidder." 

"They didn't even give us a chance to pay the taxes," Poe said. 

"I was told that sometimes they don't," Rose pointed out. "But we might have a chance to win it back." 

"What?" They both spat out, in unison. 

"They're having a pazaak tournament. There's talk that our boat is on the list of prizes." 

"Pazaak?" Poe spat out. "I haven't played that game since I was a boy." 

"I've never played it," Rey said. "I don't believe Finn has either." 

"But I have!" Rose exclaimed, a little too loudly. "I was the best in Manaan." 

"You were?" Rey was flabbergasted. 

"Yes," Rose said, shoving her hands into her lap as if she didn't know what to do with them. "I wasn't always at the court." 

Rey thought back. She hadn't thought much of when Rose had disappeared, it happened. She hadn't even thought about what Rose might be doing in her free time. 

"Did you hear anything about Ren?" Rey finally asked. 

"No," Rose said, with a frown. "I'm sorry, Rey. We were afraid to even ask about him. Those posters are still up everywhere." 

"We shouldn't have left him alone," Rey sniffed. 

"No, we shouldn't have," Poe agreed. "But at least we have a lead, now. We'll go to this...tournament--" 

"Party," Rose said. "It's a gala of sorts." 

"Parties haven't gone so well for us, thus far," Finn said. He had snuck up on them, a pint of ale in hand. 

Poe sighed. 

"We'll have to figure out what to wear that won't cost a small fortune...and a way to keep your face hidden." 

He looked at Rey. 

She could only hope that Ren was there and that he hadn't been killed - but she was beginning to feel her hope slipping away from her. 

"I'm going to go to bed," she murmured. "Goodnight." 

"Goodnight Rey," Rose replied, concern evident in her voice. 

Rey slowly made her way downstairs where the din of the Inn was quieter. She shut her door behind her, locking the flimsy lock to (hopefully) keep any wayward stragglers from entering her room uninvited. Rey took her mask off and pulled her cloak off, tossing it aside. She took a moment to open the window. There were a few drunken men down at the door of the tavern, shouting in a near incoherent language. She could smell the salt of the sea that felt so far away, now. 

She sat at the window, listening to the sounds of the night and wondering, hoping really - that Ren was in the same city unharmed. 

She prayed that they would all make it out of there alive.

❂


	15. A Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey felt her legs give out, and she was forced to sit on his bed. 
> 
> She couldn't make sense of it.

❂

Poe had gone out the next day and found them suitable "clothes" so that they wouldn't get turned away at the entrance of the "party". Rose had gotten a butter yellow gown that was a bit too long in the sleeves and skirt for her. She and Rey spent the morning trying to pin it up in a way that wasn't noticeable. Finn had gotten her a black dress, as it couldn't exactly be classified as a gown. It was cut in the style that Lehonites wore, with long sleeves and a high waist. It dropped down into a folded V, looking more like a robe than a dress. She could understand Poe's thinking, it would hide her, and the veil he'd bought for her to cover her face wouldn't look so out of place paired along with it.

Finn and Poe were dressed in garb that was much the same as what they might have worn in court, though with darker, deeper colors. Poe had also gotten them knives, considering all of their weapons had been aboard his ship. Rey wasn't very comfortable with knives, but she stuck it in her tall boots nevertheless. 

Rey wasn't feeling confident about their plan, but they hadn't had much time to make one. Finn would flash his gold and his emerald scarf (one he had saved from the fire on the Isle), and they would hope that it would be enough to garner them entrance. Rey knew they were on unsteady ground as it was, but she went along with the plan because it was the best lead that they had, and she was hoping that they would find out what had happened to Ren. 

The place that Rose and Finn had heard about was across the city, through the bazaar, which was bustling even at the late hour in the evening. There were merchants hocking wares, and the man who had sold her the brooch gave her a slight nod as if he recognized her. Rey pulled her veil tighter across her face, fidgeting with it as it crossed up with the mass of her curled hair. 

She had the idea that being recognized would be bad, especially under these circumstances. 

The district that they found themselves in was clearly one that held more wealth - the new government had taken up in what might have originally belonged to the fallen monarchy there. It had the sense of decay; whoever had taken it over hadn't taken the time to repair it or keep it up. The spires appeared ashy, and Rey could see all of the damage done and the decay settling in from the years of being held high in the sky. 

It gave her a feeling that had become quite familiar to her throughout the last few days. 

She kept her feelings to herself, following Poe past the tough-looking men that blocked the door. They were two haphazard guards, wearing piecemeal armor and brandishing battered weapons. Rey didn't like to think about what a rusty, dull blade might feel like. The hall was decorated in such a way that made her think that it had been decorated by someone who had seen a grand party once and had taken it from memory. There were candles lit, but it was dark, so dark that it was almost difficult to see the path ahead of them. 

Rose reached out and grabbed her arm for support. Rey thought she could hear her heart pounding away in her chest. She realized she was in much the same position. Scared. 

The hallway opened out into a large room. It looked as if it had been a ballroom of sorts, but a bunch of dining tables draped with red cloth had been situated all over the room. Rey doubted there would be any dancing that night. Rey could already feel the uncomfortable tension threading through the air as if they weren't the only group there trying to retrieve an important item that had been 'lawfully impounded'. 

Rey had a feeling that whoever these men were, they were bored. 

She couldn't have imagined any other reason for it. 

Rose had to buy into the game, which Finn had given her money for. She was sat down at one of the tables, and the intent was to win one's way up through the ranks until she was playing with the remaining top players. 

Poe pulled Rey aside. 

"I'll keep an eye on her. See if you can quietly ask around about Ren." 

It seemed like a bad idea, to run around this place blabbing about a hard-to-miss Knight with a facial scar, but she realized she didn't have much of a choice. If he was on the boat, and the boat was here, surely someone had to have seen him. 

Or, at the very least, heard about what happened to him. 

Rey was wary of leaving Rose at the table by herself, but she took right to the card playing and worked her way through the ranks. Rey moved across the tables that housed towers of food, wishing she had the stomach to eat and the room to drink, but she knew it would be stupid to attempt either. She felt someone beside her. They were too close, and when she turned to face them she expected it might be Finn or Poe. It was not anyone she recognized, a swarthy man with an eyepatch and a gold tooth. 

Rey had never seen a pirate before. He might have been handsome, in another life. 

"I've never seen you at one of these," he said, grabbing a small glass of port and swallowing it down. "Y'look pretty, if you'd take that damn veil off." 

Rey wasn't sure how to respond, so she remained quiet. She was learning that sometimes silence prompted others to continue speaking to fill the space. She ate a grape. 

"Sorry to see so many people here," He grabbed another glass of port. "It's so loaded that no one has a chance at winning." 

"Why do they bother then?" 

"Gambling is an addiction, my lady. Besides, they've got some Prince on the hook here." 

"Prince?" Rey asked, carefully. 

"Much more I can't say," He said, switching yet another empty glass for a full one. "Would you like to dance?" 

Rey was working out her excuse not to dance with this man when Finn brushed against her, his hand catching her elbow and leading her away. He was murmuring something about her being required and calling her 'honey', which he had never done. Rey was thankful for the ruse, but when she glanced back at the man he could only smirk. 

Rey stuck close to the crew after the interaction, watching Rose win hand after hand. If the cards really were loaded, she was doing a good job at even besting the cheaters. Rey had never seen her so focused on anything. She was sure Rose didn't look at any of them the entire time she was at the table. The night dwindled, the light dimmed, and the revelers began to break off into the streets to find more lecherous entertainment elsewhere. 

Rey was tired of standing, and Rose had worked her way into the very last circle of players. They were a scary-looking lot, but Rose never seemed to falter. She would not make it through the last game. 

She won a hand, and one of the men stood up and began shouting at her in a language none of them understood. Poe was on the alert, at Rose's back before it had any chance to escalate - though it did after some more shouting took place. Weapons were drawn and chairs were upended, and more men came filtering into the room. 

"Please!" Rey shouted, trying to prevent any further harm. "She was only playing the game by the rules!" 

"Seems my friend here doesn't like to lose," One of the men said in response, translating for the angry man who had started the fight. "And he never does." 

It went completely south from there. Rey was forced to take refuge beneath an overturned table, grabbing Rose and yanking her into cover with her. Rey pulled the small blade out of her boot, having it at the ready while Poe and Finn fought various gangsters off of them. 

Rey had never seen so much blood. 

She was a bit thankful she had never had an occasion to learn how to fight, but she wished she could be of some service. 

"Rey!" She heard Finn shout. "Here!" 

He tossed something at her, something she was too panicked to see. It was a quiver of arrows and a bow. 

Rey had only ever shot at things that were still or inanimate. She had never actually taken aim at another human being. She realized she didn't have much time to debate the morality of it. There were just too many men, she had to find a way to help where she could so that they didn't die in an empty ballroom in the middle of nowhere. 

She began letting them loose. 

All of them hit where she aimed: the back of the man who had Poe in a chokehold, the chest of another who was running directly at them, the arm of another who was sweeping out to puncture Finn with his blade. It was only three, however, and Rey counted a lot more. 

She suddenly wished they could rely on Finn's method of taking care of problems. 

They didn't get a chance to even consider it. 

She heard a familiar voice shout: ENOUGH! 

The room went silent. The power of the command was enough for even the men who had attacked them to still their actions. 

Rey stood up from the cover where she'd ducked, seeking out the source of the command. 

Phasma strolled out into the low light. Rey had never seen her dressed as a Knight, but here she was in full armor with a bright, royal blue cape swung over her shoulders. She was dazzling and imposing, and Rey felt her heart plummeting down into the very depths of her chest. 

What was she doing there? 

A terminal silence fell over the room as Phasma strode forward. She had men with her, a lot of men - archers more skilled than she with glinting silver bows fashioned with sea creatures, a nod to Manaan, she suspected. Rey realized that not only were they outnumbered, they were also outmatched. She couldn't have anticipated what came next, however. 

In the dark, the men that felt behind her pushed forward another man. He was tall, and in the shadows, she could only wonder at his silhouette. When they shoved him forward, she realized exactly who it was. 

She had never seen him dressed in such finery, even when they had forced him into a new suit he had blanched, and the new suit hadn't been anything that anyone in court would be caught dead wearing. It hadn't been ugly, per se, just simply not flashy enough. This was entirely different. He wore a leather tunic emblazoned with a fiery red thread that was shaped like a four-pointed star, each point jagged. Around it, another red circle. His hair had been washed, curled and pomaded, swept away from his brow and held there by a thorny looking black crown. 

A blood red cape was tossed over his shoulders black fur lining the hood, melting down to the floor. He wore leather on his bottom half, and his boots were shined to such a degree that they reflected the candlelight. His arms were caught behind his back. When she looked, she saw the sure glitter of chains. He struggled, his actions becoming markedly more violent as he saw her. 

_The Prince._

"Rey," Ren muttered. They pulled him back. 

"What's going on, Phasma?" Poe finally said, his hand dropping from its position, blad still clasped in his fingertips. 

"Surely you've guessed at it by now," she said. 

"Enlighten us," Rey said shakily, forcing herself not to go running directly in Ren's direction. 

"One of your friends on Poe's little Island gave you up," Phasma began. "We were here, lying in wait." 

"What do you want with Ren?" Finn asked, having noticed the get-up. "I thought it was the Queen you were after." 

Rey looked at him. She could tell they were all just as confused as he was. 

"Don't you recognize him? The lost Prince of Korriban?" 

"That's insane," Rose muttered. "He's not a prince!" 

"Why lay a trap like this if it was him you wanted?" Poe asked. 

"The King has instructed me to deal with all of you. We wouldn't want any of you popping up again, later on. The Queen, especially. He wishes to be rid of her immediately." 

"Why not kill him too, then?" Rey shouted. 

"We have need of him." 

To stop his struggling, Phasma nicked Ren with an item she couldn't see. He fought it, though it took him only minutes to fall lax, hanging in his chains as the men struggled to keep him upright. The crown fell off of his dark curls, clattering against the tiled floor. Phasma bent to lift it up, twirling it on her finger as if it were just a prop. 

_The lost Prince of Korriban._

Rey realized how they'd gotten a hold of him, to begin with. They'd been sedating him with something. Rey moved to help him, but Rose had such a fierce grip on her arm it was impossible to go anywhere. She was hidden behind the table, holding onto Rey's arm as if she were a child not wanting to let go of a parent. She shook her head, her teeth biting so hard on her lower lip that Rey was sure she might draw blood. 

Rey could almost hear her thoughts: _No, no, no!_

"Phasma," Poe began. "There's no need for this. Let us have the boat back and you can have Ren. We have no need to meddle in the affairs of Korriban." 

Rey knew he was lying, but it stung all the same. 

"I'm not giving you your boat back, and I know your silver tongue well enough, Poe Dameron," Phasma looked, all of the sudden, quite bored with this. 

"Kill them," she instructed easily. 

Her men wasted little time. Arrows began sailing through the air. 

Rey was too focused on Ren to worry about the men as they advanced. They were already dragging Ren away, and Rey followed hopelessly, yanking her arm free of Rose's grasp. She knew it was madness, but she had this singular, insistent thought that if she just went after them, she could stop this whole horrible nightmare in its tracks. 

Rose, Finn, and Poe realized they had little left to do but follow her. 

In the misdirection, Rose grabbed one of the candles. She tossed it onto a large drapery, watching for a few scant seconds as it caught fire, and caused panic. 

"We certainly do have a knack for that," Poe said, breathlessly as he followed in the wake of the igniting fire. 

❂

Finn had been right. Parties clearly weren't their forte. 

She had lost sight of Ren fairly early on, and they had not shaken all of Phasma's guard after they had recovered from the initial shock of the fire. Rey was sure that the entire ballroom was burning now, and they would have scant time to get out of the building before they became incendiary as well. They were running and being chased, and the risk that they were going to be caught was great until Poe directed them down, down and down into a labyrinthine tunnel that hopefully would lead them out into the night air. 

Even as she was trying to escape her own death, Rey could not help but think of Ren. She thought of his gleaming, dark hair - and how his eyes had seemed more yellow than they ever had. 

Had Korriban reclaimed him already? 

Her brain was making connections, even as they ran. 

Ren in Manaan at a young age, trained in the service of the kingdom. Ren forgetting all of the time before then, Ren's strange dream in the cave on the beach. Rey felt it growing harder to catch her breath, the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. 

But his mother had sent him away, what could Hux want with him alive? 

Rey was wandering behind her companions, nearly catatonic until Rose grasped her arm. 

"Rey, it's this way," Rose softly said, pulling her along in the direction Poe was leading them. 

Rey had already lost her bearings, but Poe never seemed to lose sight of his. 

Rey heard Phasma's clear voice, echoing ahead of them. She moved to follow, and Poe grabbed the back of her dress and yanked her back, pulling her into the dark and out of sight. Rose clamped her hand at Rey's mouth, both of them looking at her in a way that seemed to say: this isn't the battle you want to fight, not today. 

"We've lost track of them, ma'am," a man they couldn't see muttered. 

"Find them," Phasma seethed. "We can't lose those scurrying rats again." 

They were unlucky in that as Poe rounded the corner, they ran into the very man who had been speaking with Phasma. They were forced to run in the other direction as the man called his fellows, sending them into a thunderous chase down the tunnel. Rey was glad she had worn her boots. The men forced them out into the air, and they found themselves on an old abandoned dock. 

It wouldn't be long before the men rumbled out after them. 

"It's the boat," Poe said, pointing. His tone sounded utterly relieved. 

It was, as if, for once, a bit of luck had shined down on them. 

"Come on." 

Arrows started whizzing through the air. One came so close to hitting Rose that she screeched and just barely managed to jump out of the way. Finn hoisted her up on the boat and Rey ran so fast that she gained enough air to rocket herself into it. Poe followed, scrambling as he untied the rope and tossed it on deck.  
He barely made it on board before he was grabbed back and pulled towards the deck. They reached for him, the three of them using every bit of strength they had to pull him back on board. Finn was struggling to push the boat away from the dock in a futile attempt not to let any of them follow them on board. 

They were followed, forcing Finn to fight them off. Rey could tell that he was running out of energy, but he managed to eject one man into the ocean and the other back onto the deck. Rey could hear Phasma shouting and she could hear Poe's thunderous steps as he ran down the dock and down to the automation. She could only pray they hadn't broken it. 

Rey saw them launch more arrows as the boat began to pick up speed in drifting away from the dock. She had no doubt they would be followed out into the ocean. Phasma's screaming became more panicked the farther away they got from being within their control, and Rey realized as they grew smaller that Ren was not among them. 

Rose and Finn stood beside her, and they all watched in silence as the men scrambled to venture out after them and they pulled, helter-skelter, out into the ocean. Finn was bleeding. Rose was covered in soot and mud. Rey realized she had a few bruises and nicks herself. 

They had barely gotten away with their lives again. 

She wondered how many more times they would. 

They were a battered bunch. 

The hold had been ransacked, but Poe was hopeful that they could redeem a good deal of the supplies that had been tossed around. They did a sweep to make sure that they were the only ones aboard, and that there were no stowaways with them. Ineffably, Rey was drawn to the room Ren had slept in, just a few days ago. His was the room that had perhaps received most of the battering. His clothes were strewn all over the floor. They had left him without his weapon, and his armor, something she knew he always carried with him. 

The small blue book caught her attention after a second look. She remembered having seen it somewhere before. It took her a few moments to realize that it was the book he'd been looking at in the library in Poe's house. 

He had taken it with him. 

Rey looked at the spine. It was in a language she did not know how to read and embossed in silver. She opened the book, flipping through the pages, half expecting something to fall out of them. When nothing did, she found herself disappointed, having hoped that Ren might have left something behind. There was nothing. 

Rey flipped through it another time. On the second time through, she came across a page that was dog eared. She could see right away that whoever had written this book had drawn a few sketches in black ink. Rey had nearly passed one by when she turned back to it. It was a face that was familiar to her, a boy who had not yet grown into his ears and his smile. A boy with a black mop of hair and a patrician nose. 

It was Ren, there was no mistaking it. 

Rey felt her legs give out, and she was forced to sit on his bed. 

She couldn't make sense of it. 

Was it true, what Phasma had said? 

❂

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finn says: if you have a problem, set it on fire


	16. Lost Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh Ren," she began. "You can't have fallen in love with the Queen." 
> 
> Ren did his best not to react.

❂

Ren dreamed of Rey's kohl-rimmed eyes and veiled face. He dreamed of her wildly curly hair, catching the light - just moments before he'd been forced into sleep again. 

He had other dreams. Flashes of memory he couldn't quite grasp onto, faces and voices that haunted but did not plague. Whatever Phasma had been giving him was like a bad fever dream all wrapped up in a convenient poison. 

When he woke up again, he had a headache. It was the sort of headache that one got after having been deprived of water too long. His mouth felt as if it had cotton shoved into it. He expected to find that he was still bound but he recognized that he was back inside of his cell in the bowels of Phasma's boat. He was still dressed in the clothes she'd forced him to put on the night before - the finery of Korriban. The crown that had been put on his head was gone, a trinket that she seemed particularly obsessed with. 

He wondered what Hux had promised her. 

Ren had been on the boat by himself for a total of twenty minutes, having watched the other four disappear into the town. If he had had an ominous feeling, he couldn't remember it. It happened so suddenly they hadn't given him time to react, something he was sure that Phasma had intended. She knew well enough that he would've fought them if she had played fair. Phasma hadn't played fair. Ren had been completing some task when the back of his throat began to tickle, and he began to cough. 

It was far too late when he noticed the bottle, releasing clouds of noxious yellow gas. The next thing he remembered was waking up, in the dark bowels of a ship he did not know. 

Ren had suspected, for a time, about who he was - but Phasma had confirmed it for him. She had promised him that they would not harm him (for now). He had not known that did not extend to his compatriots. When he remembered that she had brought him before them the night before, he shot out of the dirty cot and pressed himself against the barred door. 

It was iron, and nearly impossible to get out of. 

He rattled his cage, and he heard Phasma's heavy step on the stair. He drew back, trying to put as much distance between them as possible. 

"You should know by now there is no way out of there," she pointed out. 

"Are they dead?" 

"Who? Your little friends?" 

Ren didn't answer. He recognized just what type of snake this woman was, and he realized he should say as little as possible to her. 

"Oh Ren," she began. "You can't have fallen in love with the Queen." 

Ren did his best not to react. 

"I suppose Hux knew you would. How could you not? Even though he has no use for her now." 

"Did you kill her?" Ren asked, again. 

Phasma seemed to be deciding on what she wanted to say. The silence stretched out. 

"He had been hoping to kill two birds with one stone. I told him he should not underestimate you." 

Ren wanted to know how Hux knew. How had he known what Ren was? 

"He had his suspicions, of course...when his father took you in. He had his suspicions that you were the bastard son of Korriban, born a half-blood." 

"I don't know what half blood means," He spat out. 

"You father was not from Korriban. He was from Manaan. You mother is the Queen of Korriban. When her father found out, he tried to have you killed. Your mother begged for your life, under the agreement that the King would never see you again." 

Ren felt as if he'd been kicked, right in the gut. 

"Considering your ancestry, I suppose it isn't surprising you should fall in love with someone of Manaan. I imagine Brendol agreed to take you on because he knew you might be useful someday." 

"Why are you telling me this?" 

"The Queen of Manaan lives," Phasma said. "If you agree to live out your usefulness, we won't pursue her. Your mother has disappeared, and we have need of your blood." 

"My blood?" 

"Even if it is muddy, Snoke believes it will do. I'll let you think about it. We have a few days before we reach Korriban." 

Phasma had grown bored with the conversation, he could tell, but she had told him more than he thought she would. 

Why did they need his blood? Had she meant that literally, or more metaphorically? 

Ren was relieved to hear that Rey lived, and hoped that it meant that the others lived as well. He knew that Phasma's promise not to pursue them was likely an empty one, but Ren had no other options but to obey. He had been stripped of all of his weapons and Phasma always carried with her that small little vial of sleeping poison. 

And, he had three days to waste.

❂

By the time the boat docked on the very last day of their journey, Ren had abandoned the Korriban styled tunic and cape. It was too hot in Korriban, he realized, to wear a cape lined with fur. He smelled just as one might expect he would, like a man who had been kept inside a hull for three days without a bath. Ren was forced to contemplate his fate for longer than he thought, as it took them quite a long time to come below and chain him up. Pushed out ahead of them like a prisoner, he nearly fell a couple of times, glinting against the dangerous orange glow of the Korriban sun. 

Ren felt at home, almost immediately. 

Korriban was sun-scorched and fire-born. The orange dirt cracked, and beneath raged the fires of Korriban, which caused it to be hotter than any place in the world. It felt like stepping out into an oven warmed with coals. Ren had known he was from Korriban, but standing on the soil he realized there was no way he could ever doubt it again. Arid, harsh, and full of unseen life, Ren began to know why he had loathed Manaan so. 

This was the earth, and here he was firmly rooted in it. 

Ren saw there was a caravan waiting for them, headed by great black beasts that resembled rhinos. He was shoved into one of the finer looking caravans, set amongst a group of unknown people who put their scarves against their noses at the sight of him. 

"This is the Prince?" 

"Apologies, Lady Netal," Phasma said. "We did not have the time to make him appropriate." 

She sniffed in reply as if to say: no matter. 

They were all dressed in the finery of Korriban. Ren was not surprised to see how much it aligned with what Phasma had made him wear. Black and red, feathers and fur. 

The caravan hurtled off along a rugged road. It was a bumpy ride that was endured in silence. 

Ren did not know how much time had passed before the caravan came to an abrupt halt. 

"What on earth is it?" The woman named Netal leaned forward, trying to see beyond the curtain. 

"One of the wheels has probably broken," Phasma said. "I will go out and see to it." 

A long time passed and Phasma did not return. 

The others inside of the caravan began to grow restless, but Ren could tell they were too fearful to go out and face whatever it was on their own. Ren would have, had his limbs not been chained to prevent him from running in just such a case. Before long, the curtain was thrown back and Ren saw a black-gloved hand slide in with a blade clasped in it. Ren thought he recognized the blade, but the gasps from the others distracted him from really looking. 

"Come on out and we won't hurt you," a voice said. 

They were all quick to obey, leaving Ren alone and unable to move due to his binds. He struggled with them, fought against them, but found they were done too tightly for him to slip out of. He heard a few thumps, and then another few heavier thumps and then silence. 

"All Hail," he heard the voice say as it swung back the curtain. 

Ren was shocked to see the face of his compatriot, Zaka. 

"Zaka," he said, unable to mask the surprise in his voice. "What in the Gods names are you doing here?" 

"You sent us here, remember?" 

"Ren," Kato said, stepping forward. "It is a relief to see you in one piece." 

Zaka grasped his chains and forced him up onto his feet, out of the caravan. The others stood in a circle, a formation he had taught them, weapons in hand, though they looked lax. Ren looked around, finding that the entire party, including Phasma, had been taken by surprise. Many of them were unconscious, except for the blond night - they had given her the special privilege of being bound and gagged. Her eyes were murderous, and she struggled violently to get free. 

"Come on," Zaka said, retrieving Phasma's key from somewhere on his person. "It won't be long before Hux realizes what we've done and sends out another party, and we'll have less luck with them." 

Zaka unlocked his binds. Ren shook off the chains, stepping away from them. He was happy to leave them behind. 

"You've seen better days, I wager," Zaka said as he marched his way up to the front of the caravan, his hands in his belt.

Zaka was a swarthy, boisterous and barrel-chested man. His black hair was so long it came past his shoulders, and he often braided half of it back. He had a dark beard, though Ren could see that it was now threaded through with gray, perhaps due to his recent time spent with the King in Korriban. Ren noticed that his eyes were markedly more yellow than they had been. 

They were all from Korriban, of course. It was mostly what made them stand out so much in Manaan. It was how they had earned the moniker, Knights of Ren, as they all resembled their leader. Black hair, strange eyes. 

"How did you know I would be here?" 

"I'll explain on the way. We really shouldn't dally." 

Zaka handed him a rain to one of the great black beasts. 

"Ever ridden one of these?" 

"No," Ren said, taking the reign. 

"Now's a good time to learn. Up you go." 

Ren did as he was told, scaling the great beast and settling into the saddle. He watched as the others did the same, following their motions to get the beasts to move. They moved in a clump, even if they were not tied to one another, and they weren't the fastest creatures in the world, but they had a long stride. They were able to put distance between themselves and the scene of the crime quite easily. 

Ren did not know where they were going. 

The day passed into evening, and evening into night, giving him a good deal of time to look over the scenery. At night the temperature dropped just a bit, and you could see the glowing red coils pulsing through the land in the dark. It was still warm, even in the dark, but it gave a break from the heat just a bit. There were flora and fauna, but it was the strange, prickly type that you found in the desert, built to survive and outlast the oppressive heat. Ren found he had distant memories, prickling in the back of his head. 

They finally came on the mouth of a cave. 

"These were built by your ancestors," Kato said, pulling his great beast to a halt and dropping down into the hot sand with a 'thump'. "May they be blessed." 

"Indeed. You'll be safe here, for a time. Come inside." 

Ren was not expecting what he was met with. There was a staircase, formed into the rock - that aimed down. They went down it and came upon a heavy door. Kato unlocked it and handed Ren the key. They pushed past the heavy door together, and what was beyond was even more surprising. It was a chamber of rooms, each furnished and lit by light that seemed to burn on its own. 

"What is that?" Ren asked. 

"Firelight," Zaka said. "It's what your King of Manaan is after." 

The remainder of the Knights stayed outside, and Ren had only been accompanied by Zaka and Kato. They sat down on great black couches, and Ren followed suit. 

"It's constantly renewing energy, they've found. Suddenly Korriban is rather precious, as we're on top of pounds of it." 

"I see," Ren said. "And so Hux came here to confirm it himself." 

"Yes, but he wasn't expecting Korriban's by-laws." 

"By-laws?" Ren questioned. 

"A monarch must allow for import and export of any product in and out of Korriban. And as the Queen has gone missing, they're fresh out of monarchs. They need your signature, in blood." 

"Why couldn't they have just forged it?" 

"Korriban is unsteady as it is. When word got out that you lived, and you were coming here, the people were joyous. Your mother has grown old, and she has allowed Snoke too much influence. There is no peace here, not anymore. I suspect she went missing because she knew she would be forced into it, somehow. If they try to take over the kingdom without the presence of blood, there will be more than just riots. There is a group of advisors, and they would not allow it." 

"Hux must have known I would never agree to it." 

"Well, then I suppose his plan B was to slaughter you and do it anyway. Damn the consequences." Kato frowned. "I believe he still has some loyalty to you. I believe he thought he might coerce you into giving up the kingdom." 

"What use could you have for it?" Zaka asked. "Surely it would be better to allow a man with more influence to rule. It seems to me they intended to keep you as a prisoner." 

"This is all about the damn land," Ren said, softly. 

"Well, not completely." 

They looked at each other. Kato was younger than Zaka, and his beard had not grown quite so long. 

"You have a sister, my lord. I suspect Hux intends to marry her." 

"Then it does not make sense that he should allow me to live," Ren interjected.

"It was a condition of her accepting him. They will squirrel you away, sedated and unproblematic, and he will take over the kingdom." 

"But by law, the right to the kingdom is yours. Even if you are a half-blood. The old King is dead, and with your mother missing there will be no one to stand in your way but Hux." 

"My sister," he said. "Who is she?" 

"Bazine Netal," Kato said. "But there is some question to her heritage." 

The woman in the caravan? 

"Question?" Ren inquired. 

"That she is Snoke's daughter and not the Queen's." 

"Manaan is defunct," Zaka picked up the thread of conversation. "Hux has no money to spend, and he has always been in contact with Snoke. I believe this situation works nicely for all of them. They gain control of Korriban, and of you, and then the coffers will be full again." 

"There's only one problem," Ren replied. "Hux is still married." 

"Easily done away with. He himself asserts that the marriage was never consummated...and if she is dead, well..." 

Ren knew it to be the truth. She was not dead, but that was not for Hux's lack of trying. 

"How did my mother come to allow all of this?" 

"Did Phasma sedate you?" 

"Yes," Ren replied. 

"We believe they've been doing much the same to her for years. Bazine is young and easily turned, but I believe even she does not wish to see you killed." 

"What fondness could she have for me?" 

"Well, if she is truly Snoke's daughter and Hux's plans don't work out..." 

Ren understood. It made his skin crawl, just a bit, but he understood. 

"What are you expecting I'm going to do?" he asked. 

"Take back the kingdom, of course."

❂

After informing Ren that he smelled like the 'wrong end of a dog', Kato and Zaka informed him that there was a hot spring down the hall. They informed him that there were clothes, and the pantry was stocked with food should he get hungry. They explained that he would be alone. Fewer chances for them to be found out, that way. He was told that there would be two men posted outside, but where they were located was to be hidden. 

They didn't want to draw attention to the cave, after all. 

Ren thought that two men were gracious enough, but he wondered if he had not exchanged one manner of cage for another. 

Certainly, this would be better than the underbelly of Phasma's boat. 

"Ren," Kato said, turning to look at him. "One more thing." 

"What is it?" 

"Do you think that your companions will follow you here?" 

"Yes. I'm amazed they didn't beat us here. Poe Dameron had reasons of his own for coming here." 

"Phasma's boat is known for being the fastest...especially when fueled by firelight. Poe Dameron? The leader of the resistance?" 

"I do not..." It dawned on Ren that Poe may have had his own reasons in coming there that had nothing to do with them. "Why do you ask?" 

"We should keep an eye out. If they fall into Hux's hands, it may not go so well for them. And Poe Dameron might prove to be a stroke of luck for us." 

"Thank you, Kato. Why are you helping me?" 

They both looked surprised. 

"Ren, we are your Knights. We have always known you were the King." 

It shocked him, he had to admit. 

"We were gathered in the service of the Queen, and sent to protect you." 

Zaka patted him on the back. 

"All hail," they both said, before disappearing beyond the heavy door. 

Ren heard the key, heavy in the lock as it turned. 

_Thunk._

Ren still had so many questions. Had anyone seen his mother? How were they so sure it was him? 

He knew, however, with a sinking certainty that every item up to that moment proved that he was the long lost prince. Remembering finding the book in Poe's library, there was no mistaking that the boy in that small history of Korriban was him. Ren's small hope that this would all be a mistake and he could someday get back to his life as a Knight had been quashed. 

He was the lost son of Korriban. 

_Ben Solo._

He turned away from the door, wishing that he could just catch a glimpse of Rey's face. He wished he could talk to her about it, to feel her small hand in his. He wished so much they had just stayed on that damn Island forever and forgotten about all of this. However, he knew that eventually, it would have found them. 

How were they supposed to take back a Kingdom that had been infiltrated with Hux's agents, and his army? 

There were so few of them, in comparison. 

Ren followed the instructions and found the hot spring. He undressed, piling his dirty clothes in a corner of the stone room. The water was hot and it stung in certain places. Ren washed his hair, sinking down into the depths of the hot water that at one time, might have bothered him. He was no longer fearful of it, thanks to the Queen. 

He hoped she was well, and that Phasma had not been lying to him. He had to believe she was well. He wasn't sure he could continue on with this unless he had some thought that he would see her again. 

It took Ren awhile to scrub all of the grime from his body and his hair, but when he was satisfied that he had, he dried off and found a closet full of clothes. It was all Korriban finery, though he was thankful to find that someone had folded up a few pairs of clothes that were less fine and more practical, though they were hidden away in drawers. 

The cave was the warmest he had ever been, especially in the last few years. He had meant to eat, but he found the soft surface of a bed and fell straight to sleep. 

He dreamed of his mother - a faceless woman he still could not remember. He could remember her voice, calling his name. He could remember how she laughed, and the dream was full of it. Sometimes, Rey took her place, skirting across his dream like a ray of sunshine. There were other things that crept in, darker things that threatened to overtake his dream - shadowy men with no names or faces, dark, deep pools with no bottom or end. 

When he woke again, it was with the sense that someone was watching him. He opened his eyes, disoriented to find that there was no sun. He sat up, pulling back against the bed in the even that whoever was standing there was there to harm him. 

He looked at the figure. It was a woman, standing nearly as tall as Rey. She had refined, gray hair that had been tied up in a careful bun. She wore deep red robes, and on her finger was a large ring that resembled the design of the tunic he had worn on the night that Phasma had paraded him around in front of his former companions. 

Her expression was difficult to read, but all in one moment it dawned on him. He recognized her. 

This was his mother. 

"My son," she whispered, a tear streaking down her features.

❂

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about all of the...expoooosition...in this chap. 
> 
> but now you know some stuff.


	17. Sweet Nothings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Your eyes are like amber gold," she said, instead. "I've never seen them so yellow." 
> 
> "Does it make me more fearsome to behold?" he asked, teasing in his tone. 
> 
> "Quite," Rey replied, a smile threatening to break out onto her features.

❂

_My son._

Ren feels his mouth go dry as the two words fall from her lips. He has a hard time believing that this woman is really his mother. He has a hard time believing he ever had any parents at all. He wasn't even sure how to act. 

His mother stood in silence, the tears streaking down her stoic features. Ren finally slid out of the bed he had fallen asleep in, offering up a white handkerchief. His mother took it in her small hand, so small compared to his own, and patted it against her face. She dried away the tears and tried to hand it back to him. He refused it. 

"Let me make some tea," he said, awkwardly. 

He was unsure of what else to do. 

"Wait a moment," she said. "Let me look at you for just a moment longer." 

They stood in silence. This small woman had a presence that filled a room. She carried herself in a way that suggested she was taller than she really was. She possessed a sort of warmth that even Ren recognized, though he knew her just about as well as he knew a strange beggar on the street. Leia reached up to touch his face. He couldn't help it, he flinched just a bit. Excepting Rey, it was rare that someone touched him with kindness. He could not help but feel angry, angry that she had left him to his fate, even if the adult knew that she had done so to prevent his death. 

He was just a bastard child of a childless kingdom, he was learning. 

His mother touched his face anyway. 

He couldn't help but look down at the ground, finding himself unable to meet her gaze. She traced the bridge of his nose, her fingertips dancing over the scar on his brow, eye, and cheek. 

"You have grown so much," she whispered. "I hope whoever did this to you, you gave it twice as bad back." 

As always, Ren found himself unsure of how to respond, so he didn't. 

"We should talk, you and I." 

Ren sucked in a deep breath of air, the emotion of this suddenly becoming overwhelming. He took a step back as if to protect himself from a tide that he did not think he could survive. At the beginning of this journey, he had only been a Knight seeking to protect his Queen, and now the woman he loved. 

"I am sorry, my son," she said, her tears threatening to overtake her. 

"Please," he began. "Please do not be sorry. I will make some tea." 

Leia let him pass by her, still barefoot and dressed in the britches and tunic he had slept in. 

It took her a few long minutes to follow him out into the kitchen. 

Ren found no need to light a fire, the water was already steaming hot. He began looking for tea, and when he could not find it, his mother stepped in to help. She pulled open a cabinet and completed the motion of preparing a cup of tea. He wondered if she ever had when he'd been a boy. He was trying not to think of it. 

She forced him to sit down and put the steaming teacup in front of him. She seemed to know her way around, and she went through the stores, coming out with cold meat pie that had been made the evening before. She cut him a huge slice and set it down in front of him. 

"You look quite gaunt," she pointed out. "Eat. You'll need your strength for the months ahead." 

"What exactly does that mean?" he asked, doing his best to keep his tone neutral. 

"I know it isn't what you were likely expecting, but you are the only heir to the throne, my son." 

"What about Bazine?" 

"She is not my daughter," Leia said so forcefully Ren had no choice to believe it. "I was...at that time...indisposed in such a fashion...I had just lost my husband and my son." 

"Is he dead, then?" 

Leia looked at him, surprised. 

"Some years past, yes." 

"What if I don't agree with this?" 

"That is, of course, your decision," Leia said, taking a seat across from him. 

"I don't even know your name." 

"Oh my boy, it's Leia. Leia Organa. Your father was Han Solo." 

"My father," Ren said, slowly. "And my real name?" 

"Ben. Ben Solo. You were named after a very good friend." 

"How are you sure that I am your son?" 

Leia looked at him, her eyes glassy with tears. 

"There could be no mistaking it." 

She was so sure that any hope that they were mistaken was then gone. 

Ben looked down at his hands. What business did he have being a King? None. He was a Knight at his core and his position had always been to devote himself to the service of someone else. He could not even imagine pretending at it, only believing that everyone would see him for the farce that he was. He could not forget what the others had told him, though, that they had always known he was a king. In so many ways, he felt betrayed. All of these years, this great secret had been kept from him. If Hux had never thought to set foot in Korriban, he might never have known. 

And he hated to admit to himself that he might never have sought the truth. 

But...he could not help but think...now, now he might be worthy of her. 

_Of Rey._

And he had no thought to turn his mother away. He was there, and the only way out was through. He could not go back to his life as it was, and he could not send Rey and her companions to their deaths, either. It would be to spend the rest of his life with heavy guilt and sorrow hanging over his shoulders. No, to him, there was no other choice. 

"I am assuming, then, that you have a plan?" 

"You had Poe Dameron with you, didn't you?" 

"Yes, but we were separated." 

"And they will come here?" 

"I am fairly sure, yes." 

Leia did not tell him more of her plans then. They spoke of other things, his memories of her reading him fables, singing in low tones, and making the very spiced tea they were drinking. They were not just dreams, they were in fact memories. By the time the conversation ended, Ren felt exhausted. He felt as if he'd just ran a long distance with very little water. He did not know that reuniting with his mother after years of telling himself that he had none would be so very exhausting. Eventually, she excused herself.

As the days passed, Ren began to realize he was being kept as some sort of precious prisoner when he tried to get out of the confines of the cave. He didn't remember a time in his life when he'd slept so much, and once the initial shock to this body wore off he found himself restless and wishing for any activity. His mother visited him over the stretch of time, but their meetings became no less fraught with tension, not because Ren disliked her, but because he was struggling to let go of the years of resentment he had not been aware he'd been building. 

He did not ask her for her reasoning, he was not sure it would have made him feel any better. 

With his free time, he worried for Rey, hoping that she was safe and that they would slip into the city unknown. He had to trust their fate to his Knights, as he was no longer allowed to directly take part. Too fine, and too precious, just because of the blood that slipped through his veins, uncaring of its origins. 

Ren was unused to being idle. 

It was driving him mad. 

He began to spend the long days training, as he could in his limited space. He couldn't swing a sword around, but he managed a work out in other ways, happy to put himself through the familiar motions of building muscle mass and tiring himself out. He went to bed at roughly the same time every night, and woke up the same time each morning, trying to keep track of the daylight hours even though he could not see the daylight in the cave. 

Sometimes, the two Knights that were assigned to him let him wander outside on Korriban's strange and familiar earth. 

He knew that four days had passed since his arrival, and with each day that went with no word of the Queen or her companions, the more worried he became. Had they been captured? Each time he questioned, he was met with vague answers. 

He began to have a feeling he was purposefully being kept in the dark, which he did not like. 

On the fifth day of his confinement, he had bathed and found a book in the dusty, small library. He had taken it abed, and the room was dark, lit only by one single candle. He fell asleep as the hour passed, his blade at his side. It was comfortable, but not happy. He had grown a bit lazy in the fact that no one would find him here unless allowed. 

There was a small scraping sound that alerted him back into the waking world. His first thought was to dismiss it as some underground animal, scraping by in the dark of the night. He couldn't have imagined that when he opened his eyes he would find someone else standing in front of him. He thought it might have been his mother, but when he lifted the candle and drew it nearer, he saw that it was the Queen. 

Surely, he was dreaming.

❂

"Ben Solo," she said, shakily. "The forgotten prince of Korriban."

She sounded as if she might break out into tears. 

"Rey," he began, as he reached out to touch her face. "What's the matter? Are you not well?" 

"I am well," she sniffed. "Only overwhelmed to see you well. I had been sure..." 

"I am as you see," he reassured her. "How long have you been here?"

It was an obvious surprise. 

"We've only just arrived. It was lucky that your friends came to retrieve us...the King had men waiting at the dock. It was a narrow escape. They said I could not see you, but I believe they took pity on me when I said I did not believe you still lived." 

"It is always a narrow escape with you," he teased, trying to draw a smile out of her. She seemed drawn, wan and exhausted. 

"Now that I have assured myself...I promised them that I would leave you." 

She turned to go, and Ren couldn't help his response as he stepped forward and took her elbow in his hand, preventing her from going any further. She turned to look at him, her eyes sparkling. She was still crying. Ren could not guess at why, they were both alive, both safe in Korriban for a time. 

"What is it, my lady?" 

"I feel as if I'm saying goodbye," she said. "You and I are now of different worlds." 

"Are we?" 

Rey did not pull away from him. In fact, it looked as if she was pulling up all of her strength just to convince herself to walk away from him. He felt that same inexplicable pull, wanting with all of his energy that she would just remain in his presence for a minute longer. He did not want to let her go. She did not want to let go of him, he was sure of it. 

"I am still the same man that I was, Rey," he intoned, taking another step nearer to her. "My title has changed, a shift in fortune I was not expecting, but I am still just a Knight. One that loves you, quite dearly." 

She reached out for him, balling her firsts into the loose hanging fabric of his tunic. She pressed her face into his chest and sobbed, and he wrapped his arms around her. He could not account for her crying, but he imagined it was because of how much had happened and changed in the matter of a few days. 

"I was afraid you were dead," she muttered into his skin. 

"I had the very same fears," he whispered into the crown of her dark hair. 

When she drew back, it was after a long few minutes. He could see the smudges of dirt on her face, smell the sweet sweat dried in her hair. She had come straight here, she hadn't even gotten a chance to rest yet. When he drew his hands down on her arms, she hissed, surprising him so much that he yanked back as if he had touched something hot. 

He saw in the dark light that there was a dark blot of blood pooling at her forearm. 

"What happened?" he asked, alarmed. 

"A small knife. It's nothing to be alarmed about." 

"Come with me," he murmured. 

He stopped in front of his small oaken chest and pulled out a tunic that would swamp her, along with a pair of leggings, should she choose to wear them. 

"Ren, I promised them I would leave you. They're very concerned about keeping your locations a secret." 

"I'll deal with them. Tonight, you should stay here." 

"Ren, I--" 

He was already through the door before he would hear any more protestations, looking back at her to ensure that she followed him. She did, her brown cloak sweeping at her feet as she slowly made her way after him. He led her through the cramped corridors, into the room that housed the hot spring. 

"You can wash here," he offered. "And then I can help you with your wound." 

"You're a king, not a nursemaid," she argued. 

"A king," he laughed. "Humor me this, then." 

She agreed. He left the clothes aside for her, turning out of the steamy chamber to allow her time to rinse and shed her travel clothes. Ren waited outside of the room until she was finished, watching her reappear with her long hair hanging wet around her shoulders, staining the white linen to reveal some of her brown skin beneath. 

He felt unsure of himself around her, as he always did after they had been apart. Had things really changed so drastically between them? Could they no longer stand on equal footing? 

He sat her down at the table he and his mother had sat at a few days prior. He made tea, and then gathered what he could to help her with her wound. It looked worse than it was. Ren took her arm in hand and examined the cut, estimating that it had been done with a small, sharp blade. He was thankful that it only appeared to be a short puncture wound, and that it likely wouldn't need stitches. 

"One of Hux's men, my Queen?" he asked as he busied himself with cleaning the wound. 

"I wish you would not call me that," she said, her voice wobbly. "I am beginning to doubt I ever was a queen." 

_You'll be mine if I have anything to say about it._

"You are still my Queen," he said, instead. 

"Call me Rey, please," she implored, her eyes full of sorrow. 

"I wish I could ease your heart, my--Rey," he corrected himself, and she smiled. 

He finished with wrapping gauzy linen around her arm, tying it off as tightly as possible without cutting her circulation off. She stretched it out before reaching for the hot mug of tea and taking a sip. He expected her to make a face, but perhaps she had gotten used to the tea they drank. 

Rey sat up in a rigid fashion when she heard the creaking of the heavy door. They were intruded upon, Ren never fully able to keep anyone out, but unable to leave. It was Zaka, his cheeks pink with exertion, even beneath the shadow of his dark beard. 

"My Lord," he said. "She was insistent upon seeing you. We have recovered the others with a few bumps and bruises, thankfully. Hux nearly beat us to the dock." 

"He'll be aware, then." 

"Yes. In the interest of keeping your location as hidden as possible --" 

"She already knows of my location, Zaka. Surely, there will be no harm in letting her remain here for the night?" 

"I understand, but it is necessary, my lord." 

"If I am your Lord than you are bidden to follow my instruction. I have said very little of you keeping me here as a prisoner, but you will allow me this oversight." 

It was striking, how easily he stepped into the role. So alarming, in fact, that he felt the need to step right out again. Rey was looking at him as if she could not believe he had even spoken in such a tone. 

"Yes, my lord. Please note that I did try to advise you." 

"It's been noted. Please ensure we go undisturbed for the length of the night." 

Zaka looked at Rey, a smile creasing his features as he gave a bow and exited the hiding place. The Queen continued to look alarmed. 

"That wasn't necessary," she said, surprise in her voice. 

Ren couldn't help but smile at her. 

"I am a King, as everyone continues to remind me." 

"I should allow them to protect you," she insisted. 

"Is it me you're fearful of?" He finally asked. "You're not required to stay if you don't wish it." 

Rey smiled again, though it was a bare ghost of a smile. 

"You think I'm still afraid of you?" 

"I have it on good authority that I did frighten you, once upon a time." 

"You did," she admitted. "But even then...you were the only one who welcomed me to the kingdom." 

Ren looked confused. 

"The flowers," she said. 

"Oh, the flowers."

❂

Rey was uneasy, he could tell.

They sat in silence at the table, his eyes examining her features. She could not look up from her hands. 

"What is it?" He finally gathered the courage to ask. 

"You were right," she began, turning finally to look on him. "You were right that we should've never allowed this to go any further than it did at the cottage that night." 

It seemed so far away. 

"I was foolish to believe that it wasn't harmful to those around us, and to ourselves." 

"What are you trying to tell me?" 

"Even though I love you," she began, still shaky. "We should never be anything more." 

Ren felt strongly like he'd been kicked in the stomach. It hadn't been the first time, that week. He had not been expecting this from her, Rey who had run towards him and never away from him. 

"Rey," he asked, his voice deep and firm. "Do you still care for me?" 

"Yes, of course, but--" 

"Forget about all of the other various troubles we have right now. Do you care for me?" 

"Yes," she said, flatly, as if there were no question. 

"Then, tell me why you're afraid. Honestly." 

"You nearly got killed. We both did. And the others..." she began. "And I am no longer a queen, and you are no longer a Knight, and if it was impossible before it will be more impossible now." 

"Maybe," he admitted. "There is no changing it now. Unless you can tell me with some certainty that you don't love me, I will not be anywhere but beside you." 

Rey looked him directly in his face. Her expression was difficult to read, a mixture of emotions he could not pin down for very long - they shifted too quickly. She was beautiful in the low light, her hair drying in waves around her face, her lips a perfect shade of peach, stained lightly from the spice tea. He wanted to kiss her. 

"Your eyes are like amber gold," she said, instead. "I've never seen them so yellow." 

"Does it make me more fearsome to behold?" he asked, teasing in his tone. 

"Quite," Rey replied, a smile threatening to break out onto her features.

He was a bit surprised as she stood up. The damp of her hair had soaked along the back of her shirt, though it was drying quickly considering how warm and arid Korriban was. She came to stand in front of him, her hands carefully reaching out to push his dark hair away from his features. Her small hands lingered on his cheeks, feeling the slight rough of a beard that had just begun to grow in. 

She was looking at his eyes. 

"It really is extraordinary," she murmured. 

Ren took the time to look at her. The journey had made her a little thinner, and he could tell that she was tired, but when her smile lit up her features it completely outshone those things. He slid his hands into her damp hair and pulled her down, kissing her lips in an abrupt, sweet manner. She released a sugary noise, and he felt her sidling closer. He felt the heated press of her thighs as she slid her legs around him. She positioned herself atop of him, and he felt the tickle of her hair as she leaned forward into the kiss. 

Ren felt bolder than he had before, his hands lifting up the hem of the overlarge tunic and seeking out her skin, both encompassing the small of her back. She felt warm, though he couldn't trust it, he might have been the one who was burning up. 

Her fingertips were in his hair at the base of his neck, and then slipping down his shoulders, tracing along the jut of his collarbones. His mouth broke from hers, a wash of hot breath intermingling with his own before he found her shoulder and then a particularly sweet spot on her neck that had her covered in goosebumps and releasing a surprised, throaty moan. 

Gently, she leaned back, her hands cupped around his neck. He opened his eyes, foggy and wondering if she might have regretted her actions. If she might have been regretting _him._

"We are truly alone here?" she asked, out of breath. 

"Yes," he said, pressing a kiss to the corner of her smiling mouth. 

"I want to --" she started, abruptly pausing. "I want to see you out of these." 

She passed her hands over his arms, lifting his tunic just a bit. 

He wasn't going to make her ask again.

❂

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh boooi.


	18. Too Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Yes," she replied. "When I was a girl, new to the Kingdom...I thought you were quite scary." 
> 
> "Why?" 
> 
> "You were always glowering. Never said a word to me." 

❂

Rey was having the longest night of her life. When she had presented herself to a sleeping Ben Solo, she had hoped to be at the end of it. Hux's men had nearly gotten a hold of them and might have if it hadn't been for the sudden appearance of the Knights of Ren. Finn had been nicked with an arrow and Poe had a black eye. Rose was the only one who had gotten out with only a scratch, but they were all exhausted and scared.

They were spirited away into the thornier regions of Korriban. They were told to keep to a cave, though where it was and how Rey would find her way back from it she wasn't sure. She felt as if she might have been lead into certain doom, but the only thought that kept her from screaming was that there was a certainty that she would see Ren at the end of it. 

She was to be disappointed. 

Ren was not where they were, and it seemed that his Knights loathed to even tell her that he still lived. Rey kept asking. She would not sleep until she was brought before him. Surely, he couldn't have tossed them away after finding he was a King. Surely she hadn't outgrown her use to him. 

Finally, one of the men had taken pity on her and showed her to the lonely cage where they were keeping him. He told her that he would give her fifteen minutes and that she should forget ever having seen him. They were trying to keep him safe. He was their one remaining precious material. The trump card that might have gotten the whole wretched nation of Korriban out of the knot it was in. 

The formality of it made Rey feel coltish. Rey had been graced with time without him to think of the true hopelessness of their situation, made even more so with the sudden realization that his blood was more royal than her own. She had already made a decision, how wobbly it was, that she would try to discontinue any further thoughts of romance between them. 

Kylo Ren had shaken her already crumbling reserve the moment he'd laid eyes on her, foggy still with sleep. 

She couldn't have walked away from him, but it didn't stop her from trying. 

And, all at once he had busted down the flimsy barriers she had constructed, telling her that he loved her. Making an insurmountable situation seem surmountable. 

She wondered if she had not known there was something special about him all along. 

Or maybe, she was just looking for ghosts where there were none. 

Ren had not given her any answers that she could stand on or point to. She realized that it didn't matter. She loved him, and she could not give up many more hours of the time she might have with him to fear and distrust. 

So, she had gotten up from the table that they sat at, left her tea behind, and closed the seemingly unmeasurable distance between them. 

It had been measurable, after all. 

He kissed her, making her feel as if the entire world and all of its demands on her had melted away. 

And, she had gotten brave and finally told him that she wanted to see what was underneath all of the armor, metaphorically speaking. 

Ren looked surprised that she should be so forward and as if he had been expecting something entirely different to come out of her mouth. He didn't question her, instead choosing to kiss her lips again in a soft, muted way. She gave a slight squeak of surprise when he stood up, lifting her with ease. She grasped onto his neck and gave a slight giggle in the confines of his mouth as he kissed her. 

They moved towards the bedroom in a wobbly, amorphous fashion, stopping at moments to reacquaint themselves with each other's mouth, each kiss becoming more incendiary, more like drowning. She was acting on instinct, feeling herself fall cosmically short of what he might have expected, but each time she felt herself withdraw from him on the basis that she couldn't have been what he wanted, he found a way to draw her back. 

It was so intoxicating, being seen. 

The bedroom he had been asleep in was dimly lit with a candle that was flickering in the draft. It cast a reddish hue on the room, and Rey could see where he had been sleeping on the bed, the blankets still mussed from his presence. He went to blow out the candle, and she stopped him by grasping his hand. 

"Leave it," she said, unsure she even recognized her own voice. 

Surprising herself, she was the first to undress. She lifted his oversized tunic over her head, exposing the bare skin of her chest to the arid air. Ren was watching her. She expected to see a sort of feral hunger there, though his features were so disarmingly gentle they surprised her. He didn't want to devour her and leave her with the remnants - he wanted to adore her. 

Rey found she couldn't let the momentum stop then. She untied the laces on the borrowed breeches and let them slide down around her hips before they fell to her bare ankles. She wore nothing underneath, aforethought she didn't have time to examine right then. She worried at her bottom lip, her cheeks flaring with heat as she stood completely nude in front of him. For a brief moment, the confidence drained away and she tried to arrange her limbs to cover herself, but Ren stepped forward then. 

It was then he finally did ask: "Are you sure about this?" 

"Yes," she replied, right away. 

Ren lifted his shirt over his head, revealing the patchwork of scars she had gotten glimpses at but never really had time to examine. She noted the dark thatch of hair that trailed down beneath his breeches, visible because the fabric dipped so low on his hips. She reached out for him, her fingertips finding the smooth planes of his scars, tracing the ragged flesh that had healed and healed again. He was a map gilded with gold, and she followed the lines with her fingers. 

Finally, she felt she could take the things she wanted because he wanted her to have them. 

Rey wasn't expecting the brush of his calloused fingers over the bud of her nipples. His hand easily encompassed her breast, brown and large against the pale flesh that never saw the sun. His hands created a wonderful, soft scrape against her skin - rough and gentle at the same time. He took the other in hand, testing their weight as he grasped them, thumb tip flicking over her nipple as the skin responded by tightening up. Rey released a shaky gasp, finding that the sensation of his skin on her caused the pooling ache in her lower belly to grow. 

She was wet between her thighs, something she had experienced before, but never quite to this degree. 

His hands drifted, warming the slope of her arms and the flat of her belly. He was examining her, committing her to memory by way of touching her. He reached around and cupped the curve of her ass, pulling her against him in such a way that she could feel the length of his cock through the thin fabric of his pants. His mouth was at her neck, stoking that sweet spot of flesh just below her ear that made her shiver. The sensation was almost too much, and she felt like a ripe peach that was about to burst. 

Rey drew her hands between them, fingertips finding the laces on his garments. She pulled at them, purposefully brushing the hard length she felt just beyond. He released a ragged sigh, a sound she found she wanted to hear more of. She pushed the pants from his hips, fingers tracing his hip bones before they connected with _him_ , hot and hard. The flesh jumped when she touched it. 

Ren grasped her shoulders, tightly, his forehead pressed against hers. For a moment, she thought he might stop her, but when she looked up at him she saw that was not his intention. He held her there for a long moment, his eyes closed and his forehead still pressed against hers. Rey obliged him, and they stood there together, simply breathing the same air. She traced his abdomen, finding the firm muscle of all of the hard work he often did. 

This time when he kissed her, it was hot and melting, and Rey felt her legs grow unsteady. 

Ren took control then, no longer satisfied with the exploratory touches. Rey did not know what to expect, but she knew at least some of what the act looked like. She had dreaded it with Hux, but when she sought out the same fear in her chest with _Ben_ it did not come. 

"Are you--" She breathed out. "Are you going to...?" 

"No, my lady, but there are other activities we might occupy ourselves with-" 

His voice trailed off as he positioned her back on his bed. She was surrounded with his scent, sleepy and sweet and often underpinned with soap. He was still calling her 'my lady', but this time it caused a shiver to run its way down her spine. Rey remembered having dreams like this, but she hadn't ever expected they might come to reality. 

Ren's mouth found the buds of her nipples, his teeth dragging the flesh - the sensation causing Rey to release a startled gasp and arch her back up off of his sheets. He did the same to the other, his hands adjusting her hips and sliding her thighs apart. The wet drying on her nipples made her feel sensitive to the air, cooling her skin even though the room was so warm. Ren dragged his teeth along the inside of her thighs, sinking his teeth into the meat of one just enough to leave behind a small mark before causing any real pain. Rey thought she should have perhaps felt alarmed at it, but the knowledge of the bite mark underneath her clothing gave her pleasure, causing another surge of heat to pulse at her cunt. 

She wanted to leave one such mark on him. 

Rey was promptly distracted from the thought of it when his thumb found the flesh beneath the dark thatch of hair between her thighs. He sought out her clitoris, thumbing the mound of nerves as if to test how much he might get away with. It was nearly too much, and Rey felt her legs tensing and shaking as he continued to stroke her with a calloused thumb. 

She gave a small whimper of protest when he stopped. 

What came next was so much better. 

He pulled aside the folds of her flesh and placed his tongue on her. He closed his lips around her, sucking at her clitoris and causing her to arch further up against him, her fingertips grasping in the dark waves of his hair so tightly she was fearful (foggily) of ripping his hair out. He laughed, the deep rumble sinking into her oversensitive cunt. She was forced to loosen her hold on his hair as he began to move, his tongue lapping at her until she was warm and wet, so wet she felt it on the tops of her thighs. Each time she began to tense and shake, the sensation building between her legs, Ren would pull back, making her desperate for more and aware that he was drawing her along to something more. 

Rey felt the pressure of his finger as he pushed it inside of her. It caused a bit of pain, wide and long, stilling inside of her. He let her get used to it, her hips rolling up against him and his devilish finger. And then, she felt the pressure of another, sliding up inside of her. She let out a simmering moan, feeling it shudder in her chest as she lost more and more sense of what he was doing. The noises that he ripped out of her only seemed to encourage him. He crooked his fingers, stroking at some molten spot within her as his tongue lapped at her like she was milk and honey. 

That steady feeling of warmth and pressure had grown and grown until it was no longer within his control. Rey's legs were so taut and tense that they were shaking, trying to get closer - _closer_ to his mouth and his stroking deep inside of her. It caused her to lose her breath, starting low in her belly and washing over her cunt. It was burning, and she closed her eyes and arched her back, gripping against him so tightly - as if she might drown. She came, her breath catching in her throat and her vision going white and then black as the pulsing pleasure shuddered around his fingers. When the rolling came to an end, Rey found she couldn't help the feral moan that escaped the depths of her throat, having been caught there by a lack of breath. 

It kept on coming until she was weak, limp, and sweaty atop his bedclothes, gasping for air. 

She felt the shift of his weight as he joined her, felt the press of his hand as he drew her damp hair away from her features. He traced the line of her chest, drawing his fingers down between her breasts to her bellybutton. Even the soft touches felt, for a moment, too much. She had been plucked and strummed and she was still vibrating with the intensity of it. It was very nearly painful, but only in such a way that made her much more aware of how lovely it was. 

"That isn't what the nursemaids warned us about," she said, her voice gravelly even to her own ears. 

It occurred to her that she should feel shameful, turn her gaze away from him and cover herself up. But she did not, and instead shifted to look at him, his eyes intense and molten gold in the low light. She kissed his lips and tasted herself there, reaching out to slide her body against his. He was still hard, and she could feel the length of it twitching against her hip as she pressed herself atop him. 

"Rey," he warned, his voice deep and husky. 

"I want you to--" she tried on the word, a word she never thought she would find herself using. "--fuck me." 

There was no lightning bolt, as she expected.

He groaned, and growled as if she was simply too much - she was asking for too much. She could tell by the tilt of his mouth and the uptick in his breathing that he liked it when she talked that way. 

"You don't want to?" 

She hooked her legs around his hip, pressing the warmth of herself down on his cock. He released another groan, unable to help himself as he rolled up to meet her. They stayed that way, his hands on her hips as he moved to create a sweet sort of friction that had her wet a second time. The stiff flesh felt good, and she wondered what he might feel like inside of her. 

"Of course I do. It will hurt," He said, factually. "You...you've never done this before. It always hurts the first few times." 

"I know," she said, kissing his mouth again. "I don't care. Please?" 

She dragged her teeth along his lower lip. 

He gave another frustrated groan, his cock twitching against her. There was something else, she could see - a sort of holding back. The other 'activities', they might be able to pretend hadn't happened. If he fucked her, it was a line they could not uncross. It would be done, this decision, cemented in the night. 

"Please," she whispered again, into the confines of his mouth as he kissed her back. 

He abruptly grasped her arms and pushed her back into the mattress. Her legs wrapped around him, a sneaky thought crossing her mind that if she didn't let him go anywhere, he would be forced to do what she asked. Of course, if he really didn't wish to, she wouldn't stop him, but his body seemed to betray him - and so did his eyes. 

He slid his fingers into his mouth and then into her, much like before, one after the other. She was still pliant from the previous activity, which she found made it much easier this time. She grasped his wrist, arching against the intruding digits. He withdrew them from her after a few minutes, forcing her to release his wrist. Rey liked the view, enjoying the sight of his body between her legs as he grasped his cock and put the head of it against her. He was right, it was different. 

She felt the head of him intrude on her, and then more and more. How wet she had been was not enough - he stretched and filled her to a degree she didn't think was possible. She released a whimpering groan, dropping her hands into the sheets and balling the fabric up into her fists. Ren abruptly stilled, obviously concerned about hurting her. He stopped himself about halfway through, his brow wet with perspiration and his face contorted with concentration. It wasn't unpleasant, this pain. 

"Relax," he breathed out, his hands reaching out with her to force her to loosen her limbs. 

She could tell that he was doing everything he could not to let himself be overwhelmed. She did as she was told, doing her best to accommodate him. There were moments when the pain was a bit blinding, and he had to start all over again, coaxing her further and further along. Finally, she placed her hands on his chest and pushed him back against the bed. He looked surprised, his hands out and his neck tense as he tried to keep his head up to look at her. 

"Relax," she teased. 

It was easier, on top of him. Less painful. She pressed down atop him, releasing a gasp when they were finally able to connect completely. The look on his face was worth it, driving her to continue on this devious path she realized she might never come back from. She pushed her hips down, finding that the more she moved, the easier it was. Ren began releasing a whole slew of lovely noises, his hands reaching out to grasp her hips and force her into a more pleasing position. She gave another abrupt cry, not expecting the sudden movement. Still, she didn't stop. 

Rey began to learn the rhythm of it, though she was no expert. She listened for the catches in his breath and the pleased grunts and groans that he made when she moved in a way that was something he enjoyed. His grip became tight on her hips, his motions erratic as he bounced her on top of him, her breasts moving with the quick motion. He opened his eyes to look at her, and she could see that even in _this_ position he still thought her beautiful. Her own breath became ragged as he continued, and she forced him to slow, though it was already too late. When she tightened around him he came, his own orgasm ripping through him much like hers had. 

Rey enjoyed the feel of his twitching abdominal muscles beneath her fingers as he groaned, and with a few final rough thrusts, he fell to the bed, much like she had. They were both covered in sweat, and she fell down atop his chest as he fought to catch his breath. She was wet and slick between her thighs, and when she felt him slip from her she felt the warmth of his cum drying and leaving behind a sticky reminder of what they'd just done. 

"Gods," he breathed out, his voice as ragged as hers had been.

❂

There was no going back, then.

They both slept, deeply, their sweat cooling on their skin - the both of them forced to crawl beneath the blankets, scurrying after warmth. Rey woke what felt like a few hours later, feeling the sensation of Ren's fingers rubbing against her temple. She had fallen asleep on top of his arm. The candle had gone out, casting the room in complete darkness. Not even the moon touched them, though as her eyes adjusted to the dark she could see that the stone in Korriban had it's own, strange red glow. 

Ren was awake, though his eyes were far away, cast somewhere into the future where she could not follow. She shifted her legs and found that she was sore, causing her to release a small noise of realization. It was enough to break Ren's spell, and he looked at her in the dark, shifting his arm so that she could come closer, curling herself up against his chest. 

"Are you running through your list of regrets?" She asked, trying to sound playful. 

"No," he whispered, though there was no one for them to disturb but each other. 

"What is it then?" 

"I was thinking that I have no idea how to be a King," he admitted. "How does a Knight become a King?" 

"You'll make a good king," she reassured him. "The rest can be taught." 

"I do not want to be a King," he said, a tinge of sadness in his voice. "I would have been quite happy to live as a Knight forever...even if it meant--" 

"What?" 

"That I could only give you a chaste peck on the cheek on birthdays." 

Rey smiled. 

"I would have always wanted more, even if you wished to live like a monk." 

She heard him laugh in the dark. His fingertips were drawing back through her hair, threatening to lull her back into sleep. Rey didn't want to sleep. She thought that if she stayed awake, she might be able to put off the oncoming morning. They wouldn't have to face it. 

"Let's just stay here, then," Rey offered, her hands spidering along his abdomen, tracing the length of the scar she remembered being there. 

Ren gave a sleepy mumble of agreement. She looked up to find that he had closed his eyes. 

"Did you...did you want to do this, that night in the cottage?" 

"Yes," he said, readily. "I told you as much, didn't I?" 

"I did not believe you," she admitted. 

"Were you really afraid of me?" he asked in return. 

"Yes," she replied. "When I was a girl, new to the Kingdom...I thought you were quite scary." 

"Why?" 

"You were always glowering. Never said a word to me." 

"I was trying not to confess my undying love for you," he laughed. 

"What?" Rey asked, alarmed. 

"Yes, my Queen, even then. But you were always a bit too fine for me." 

"And now, am I too fine for you? Now that you are a King and I'm shortly to be a pauper?" 

"Oh Rey," he said, shifting to kiss her mouth. "You will always be a bit too fine for me."

❂

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, that's a lot of smut my dudes.


	19. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I hate Knights," he had tea himself, and he took a sip of it, looking at the two that flanked Ben. 
> 
> "Yes, I've always wondered why."

❂

Rey woke up alone.

She could not tell what time it was, but her internal clock seemed to tell her that it was not yet morning. She gave a soft noise of discomfort as she sat up, finding the ache between her legs had not subsided. Frowning with the realization that she was alone, she slipped out of bed. The proof of their activity made the skin between her thighs feel stiff. She bent down to retrieve the tunic she'd so easily shucked off just hours before and pulled it on over her hair, creeping out into the strange cavernous hallways. 

Rey listened for any sounds of activity but found none, not until she heard the slosh of water behind the door that lead into the hot spring. She carefully pushed it open, finding that Ren stood in the hot water. He was lathered up with soap, and Rey enjoyed watching the muscles shift in his back as he moved his arms. She shucked the tunic off again and carefully slid into the hot water, trying not to make any noise. 

She reached out for him, tracing her fingers across his warm shoulder blades. The hot spring had made his skin hot and flushed, and when she touched him he ceased in his washing motion to turn and attempt to look back at her. 

"You left," she pointed out, a bit of pout in her tone. 

"I couldn't sleep," he admitted, placing his hand over hers as she draped herself across his back like a cape. "You looked peaceful, I didn't want to disturb you." 

"You should have," she replied, leaning back and sliding her hands over his soapy back, attempting to assist. "Will they come to retrieve me in the morning?" 

"I am not entirely sure," he admitted, leaning his head back and moving into her touch. "I've been kept as a prisoner here for the last week." 

"They are worried about you. You are their last hope, after all." 

He turned, gently rearranging her limbs so that her forearms were slung over his shoulders and she was pressed against his front. He was slick and warm, and his dark hair was slicked back against his cranium. He had shaved that small ghost of a beard off, leaving his face smooth and visible. His breath smelled a bit minty. 

He slid her with him into the depths of the spring, and she wrapped her legs around him as they sank into deeper water. It was hot, and her skin flushed immediately, but the water felt good on her aching limbs and sore spots. She released him. She submerged herself in the hot water, just briefly, before she resurfaced and pushed her hair away from her features. She found that Ren was watching her, quite carefully. He had grasped the soap in his hands and he had worked it into a lather. He reached out for her, drawing her up so that he could slide his soapy hands over her skin. 

Rey shuddered, involuntarily, beneath his touch. He drew his hands down her arms, across her breasts and belly, along her legs and thighs. She could see that in his intense focus on her, his cock was growing stiff. Rey chewed on her bottom lip and looked at him as he turned her around, his hands sliding down her shoulder blades and along the small of her back. His hands kneaded her hips, and he pulled her back against his stiff length. The way he looked had her sent all of her blood rushing down, and she realized she was slick, warm and wet, again. 

"Can I...again?" 

The sweet depth of his voice gave her another slight shudder. 

"I want you to," she said. "But I'm sore." 

"I'll go slow," he said, pressing himself against her backside in a pleasant way. 

Rey felt his fingertips teasing along the slit of her cunt, pulling the folds back and slipping them in and out of the already throbbing, wet warmth. Rey pushed back against his fingertips, finding that it was easy to ignore the soreness when she wanted him to do what he wanted to do to her. His fingertips worked their way inside of her, and she was forced to bend over and catch her hands at the stony edge of the hot spring. She was struck again with how she should have been ashamed, but there was no such emotion. 

It was...easier, the second time around. He pressed the head of his cock against her, and she bit her lip hard enough to taste the copper sting of her blood. He was slow, as he had promised, but the motion was much more fluid than before - as if her body remembered to accommodate him. She gasped, feeling the difficulty of catching her breath washing over her as he slid himself out, and then back in. Each time he did it, her body yielded to him just a bit more. 

Rey listened for the pleasing catches in his breath. He let out a thoroughly grateful groan as he slid his cock inside of her, reaching new depths. Rey arched back, finding that her hips rolled back to meet him naturally. Ren's hand grasped her breast, his fingertips pinching her nipple as his other hand slid down the curve of her back appreciatively, pushing her hair away from her shoulders. It hung to one side, the tips touching the surface of the water. 

Rey heard and felt the pleasant sound of their skin connecting as he began to move, first so slowly that Rey found herself pushing back against him and breathing out the words: more, more, please. 

"I love you," he gasped out against the hot skin of her shoulder, his body feeling immense as he hovered over hers, holding onto her as if she might slip away into dust. 

Rey was having difficulty forming actual words as he pushed inside of her, the heat and friction drawing her ever closer to the edge of something she could not yet define. She felt her poor legs going to complete jelly, her body tightening around him as she came, again. It ripped through her, causing her to arch back against him for a long intense moment before she pushed back against him a few more times, unaware if the movements were hers or his. 

Rey heard a rough growl rip free of his throat, the length inside of her jumping and tensing and filling her with that strange sensation of warmth. 

"Shit," he gasped. 

Rey nearly lost her balance, noting the slight tension in his tone. 

He carefully slid himself out of her, reaching forward to keep her from falling into the stony ledge. She was glad for the support, as she felt as if her legs might never recover from the activity. When he turned her around, she looked at him blearily, her hands sliding lasciviously over his shoulders. 

"What is it?" 

"I meant not to--" he sucked in a deep breath of air. "Inside of you." 

"Oh," she breathed out. "I bled only a day or so ago."

She hoped it would give him ease, knowing enough about the mechanics to know that it was difficult to conceive then. 

"Is that what you're worried about?" 

"It will be even harder to deny if you have a child in your belly," he admitted. "Not that it would give me pause for any other reason but that one. You're still..."

"Married to Hux?" 

"Yes," he replied as if the thought of it still being truly left a bad taste in his mouth.

"Ben," she tried his real name, for once. "There is no more truth to that marriage than there is to a Fool at court. Please don't make yourself sick with it. I love you." 

"I like it when you call me Ben," he admitted. "I just want to keep you safe, this isn't exactly proper." 

"Damn being proper," she surprised even herself sometimes. 

Ben smiled.

They rinsed off and went back to bed, their hair damp and their thoughts muddy with all of the new doors they'd opened and gone barreling straight through.

Rey wondered what it might be like to carry his child - finding that the thought of it didn't bother her at all.

❂

Rey hadn't expected to wake up alone again.

There had been a fresh set of candles put out, each of them lit to fill the once dark chamber with light, perhaps in an attempt to make it resemble daylight. Rey sat up, finding that their discarded clothing had been cleared away, and a thick red blanket had been tossed over her naked frame. She saw folded clothes at the table, sat next to a cooling cup of tea. Rey reached for the blanket and wrapped it around herself, slipping out of the bed and moving to the table. 

Ben had left a note. 

_Put these on. We are to go on a trip, today._

_-Ben_

She worried, for a moment, that someone had come upon them, but she was sure she would have woken up to the noise. Rey ran her fingers over the clothes. They were practical but made to fit her. The linen was dyed such a deep shade of red she was sure it was a color she had never worn before. The breeches were a soft, doe leather in the color of chocolate brown. He'd even given her undergarments. She moved stiffly as she dressed, each time she did she reminded herself of what they'd done the night before, though it felt days away right then. 

She finally got dressed, tucking the deep red tunic into the tops of her pants and pulling on the leather tunic over it. She stopped and pulled her boots onto her feet, taking a minute to braid her hair and take a few swallows of the cold tea. 

Rey bounded out into the hallway, feeling more energized than she had in months, which was surprising, considering that they had slept very little the night before. She followed the sound of voices, realizing that there were others in the cavernous little home. Rey came upon them in a strange sort of waiting room, decorated with expensive looking red carpets. There was little finery, making it look as if the carpets were just an attempt to make the stone more forgiving. 

Ben had dressed in the finery of a Prince, which she could tell he was vaguely uncomfortable in. He was wearing silk instead of linen, the sleeves puffing out beneath his brocade styled tunic that was cut at the waist instead of the knees, more in the fashion of nobles over Knights. His boots were shiny and stamped with the symbol of Korriban, and his hair gleamed in the low light. 

Perfect to set a crown upon, she thought. 

He looked more handsome than she could ever remember seeing him, and she wished they were still alone so that she could divest him of the uncomfortable outfit as quickly as possible. Forcing herself not to flush, she came into the room to find that her other companions were there, along with the two Knights who had allowed her in the night before. 

"Rey," Finn said. "You look...different." 

"Bad different?" Rey hoped she did not look so different that it was going to be noticeable and known by everyone. 

"No," Finn said, shaking his head in slight confusion. "Just different." 

"Glowing," Rose said, in agreement. "Well rested, I think he means." 

"Ben was telling us you weren't feeling well last night," Poe pointed out. "But it seems you are well now." 

"Uh, quite," she cleared her throat a bit. 

It would be no secret that she had slept there, but Ben had told them that she had been feeling ill to mask the fact that she slept so late. He wondered if he'd slept out in the early hours of the morning to prevent them being found together. She knew her friends were not idiots, however, and she could see the cogs turning in Finn's brain already. Poe didn't seem to care, and Rose was willing to take the situation at face value. 

The two Knights gave a bow of their heads, their faces impassive. Rey tried not to think about it, her actions had seemed so warranted until laid out bare in the light of day. She hadn't thought that everyone might come to question why she had stayed the night. Improper, indeed. There was someone among them that she did not recognize. She was older and carried herself with an air of authority. There was something about her that was familiar. 

"Rey," she said, standing up to take her hands. "I've long wanted to meet you. I'm Leia. Ben's mother." 

Rey's eyes lit up with recognition. 

"Oh!" She exclaimed. "I had thought you were still missing." 

"I am, technically." she smiled, warmly. "My son speaks highly of you." 

"Th-thank you," she muttered, allowing the woman to draw her in another direction to have a seat beside her. 

Ben was looking at her, she knew. She caught his glance, and he gave her a small smile before his attention was directed elsewhere. 

"I suppose I have no reason to dislike you now, Ren," Finn said, taking a seat in the most incorrect fashion possible in a nearby chair. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I hate Knights," he had tea himself, and he took a sip of it, looking at the two that flanked Ben. 

"Yes, I've always wondered why." 

"His mother was killed by a Knight, she was in the line of his duty," Poe replied, for him. 

"Ha," Finn said, bitterly. "In the way of your former King, Brendol." 

Rey looked at him. It made sense now, why he had distrusted Ren so. 

"Knights do anything and everything they're told to do. You don't have the bearing of a King at all, you know." 

Ben did not look offended. 

"You bluster, Finn," he finally said. "But I believe you've come to accept me." 

"Ha!" He repeated though he did not speak again then. 

"Why have you called us here?" Poe finally asked. "I am sure there must be a reason for it." 

"We saved your lives," Kato said. "Would you have rather gone with Hux?" 

"Of course not," Finn muttered. "But I'm sure there must be something you want." 

"In exchange for our lives," Poe finished for him. 

The air in the room was tense. Just because these men trusted Ben and they had all come to a grudging understanding of each other did not mean that they would all readily accept one another's goals. 

"There are tales of a resistance you're building on that Island of yours," Zaka began. "How large have you grown in numbers?" 

"You expect us to get involved in this fray?" Poe asked. "Merely because you have some thought that he is a monarch?" 

"He is a monarch," Kato said, defensively. "And is it not true that many of your numbers on that Island are countrymen displaced from Korriban?" 

"What care have you had for them to expect them to die on your behalf?" 

"With any luck, no one will die," Ben finally spoke up. 

"That's rather naive if you to consider," Poe shot back. "You, a Knight." 

"Hux might be stupid, or he might be underestimating me, but he has not amassed an army here. His barracks are empty, soldiers are not being paid their tithes. Snoke may have told him he has Korriban's army to rely on, but I wager it will be as simple as swapping us out." 

"What are you proposing?" 

"Exile, for the newly minted advisor of the newly minted King. You know they have no rights to take the crown, though will attempt to do so in my mother's absence. They'll spend the coin easily enough, even if I haven't given my seal of approval, at least until they're able to hunt me down. I'll wager there's something else they require me for." 

"What do you mean?" Poe asked. 

"I've had time to read while we waited for your arrival," Ben began. "The firelight is sealed with 'old magic'. My blood is required." 

"You can't believe those tales," Kato said. "Magic? I've never seen or heard of such a thing being truthful. Hux simply wants to marry your sister. I believe the requirement will fall to the wayside if the two of you are dead and there are no monarchs left to agree. The Kingdom will fall to chaos, which is more preferable to Snoke than trying to convince you to allow yourself to be imprisoned there." 

"Why then haven't they been spiriting it out of the city? Something must be preventing them from doing so. And they've kept me alive this long, there must be another reason. All of these problems you present would be solved merely by killing me." 

"Why didn't they bleed your mother then, when they had the chance?" 

"Male heir," she replied, flatly. "And, they tried. I knew that my signature of approval would soon be required. The only way that I saw out of this was you, Ben." 

"Get to the point, Ren," Finn said. 

"All we have to do is gain control of the palace again. We sneak in on his coronation night and we spirit him out of there, along with Snoke and anyone else who wants to lay loyalty on them." 

"You believe he'll just allow you to do that?" Poe questioned. 

"No, but I believe Korriban's army will stand beside me. And we have more numbers if we have your alliance. I'll give you anything you want when it's all said and done. Resources, homes, whatever you request you'll have." 

"Making such big promises already," Finn snarked. "Just like a King." 

"You will have what is promised," Leia said, simply to place her seal upon the words. 

"What makes you so sure he'll move ahead with the coronation if it isn't even approved?" 

"I am not sure, but if Snoke has his way, it will happen somehow." 

"So what, we just wait for an invitation to show up?" Poe asked, looking quite stormy.

❂

Rey was forcibly pulled away from the conversation as the details were hammered out, something she wished hadn't happened. She had always been an equal part of the group, as it were, but now she felt as if secrets were being kept from her. She was sulking until Leia advised it was only because they were being moved to a different location. Did that mean she would be allowed to stay with Ben? That he would be allowed to remain with her?

Rey was forced to ride a horse, a terribly painful ordeal that she clenched her teeth through, hopeful that no one would notice that she was in such pain. Thankfully, the ride was not a long one, like the night before. She hoped she would get time to rest. 

Rey was surprised to find that they were in front of an actual house, not a cave. It would provide less protection, she was certain, but she saw that there were many guards posted to prevent unseen attacks. 

"This is one of my homes. You and your friends may remain here for a time. It will be more comfortable than that of the caves," she said. 

"Won't they know to find him here?" 

"It's unlikely," Leia admitted. "But the time will come eventually. We all agreed that it might be better if we saw it coming, and there were more escape routes. Those caves are labyrinths, if you get lost, there's little hope of ever seeing you again." 

"I see," Rey said. "And my friends will be staying here?" 

"It depends on what everyone chooses. Poe and Finn were talking of homing with a few of the Knights, just for ease." 

"It's very kind of you," Rey admitted, happy to dismount from the horse and allow someone to lead her away. 

"Of course," Leia said. "He is my son, though I fear he does not believe it yet." 

"He says he has no memory from the time before being in Manaan." 

"A protection for himself, I wager. I wonder if the memories will return." 

"I believe that they will." 

"And you are the Queen of Manaan." 

"Yes, or rather, I was. I believe Hux intends to stand on that the marriage was never consummated..."

"Yes, so that he might marry Bazine. But he neither cares nor deserves even her. And I see...you are in love with my son." 

They abruptly stopped, Rey's face going white and then red as she looked down at the ground. She stammered, trying to come up with some excuse. Leia only laughed. 

"Oh my dear," she said, touching her face. "I was a girl once too. Ben is a product of such follies...but I would like to believe you have a surer head on your shoulders than I did. It's only natural that you should love him. I have had the misfortune of spending time with Hux. I do not know my son, or how he managed to become the man he is, but he is certainly a better one than the King." 

"Follies," Rey muttered, following Leia behind at a pace. 

Leia turned to look at her, her eyebrows arching upwards. Suddenly, it seemed, she understood. 

"Oh, I see." 

Leia only smiled, kindly. Rey looked but found no judgment there. She realized she was not about to be given advice, or told how silly it was to give up your maidenhood to a man who wasn't your husband. Leia took her hand. 

"Come, let me show you your room." 

Leia was right. It was more comfortable than the caves. There were bedrooms with windows, it was cooler. There was a kitchen, places to sit, and activities to occupy one's mind with. Rey would be glad to see the passing of time, having been so disoriented underground. She was uneasy about allowing Ben out into the world, but she knew it had come to the time where he no longer just belonged to her alone. He was going to step into this role, it all seemed decided now. 

The room Leia showed her was draped in the favored color of Korriban - red. 

"There are clothes that have been recovered from amongst your belongings, and a few other items I noticed were missing that you might be in need of. The cook serves dinner at Six. The guard rotates, every six hours. I do not stay here, but I will come to visit during the time while we wait for this plan to take shape. Please, let me know if you need anything else." 

"Thank you," Rey said, turning to look at her. "You have been kind." 

Leia remained until just before sundown, showing Rey how the sunsets lit the sky up like it was burning, tossing it with such oranges and reds that Rey had never seen before. Rose came, shortly after her departure, having decided to stay with her instead of with the others. Finn and Poe had opted to go elsewhere, an idea that had been given up that it might be better if they remained somewhat separated from each other. 

She and Rose ate dinner together, promptly at six. 

Exhaustion had settled into Rey, deep and bone weary. 

After they were finished, they made their separate ways, Rose into her chamber and Rey into hers, both of them tired. Rose looked so exhausted she wouldn't be surprised if the woman just planted into the bed and fell straight to sleep. Rey undressed, happy to slide out of the warm clothing. She rinsed with cold water, enjoying the feel of it cooling against her skin. She was sore, still, and when she looked down she saw the teeth marks Ren had left behind the night before. She fought to hide her smile, even though she was quite alone. She traced her fingers around the mark, images from the night before zipping through her head. 

She might have wanted to do it again, had he been there. 

Perhaps her body would thank her because he wasn't. 

Rey enjoyed the feel of the cool nightgown she slid over her bare skin. She was happy to slide into the bed, underneath the clean bedclothes. She was happy for the moonlight, peeking through the window. She supposed she should have felt more concerned about what was to come, but she decided she would save the concern for tomorrow. She was too happy, sleepy, and sated to worry. 

She fell asleep as if nothing at all was wrong. 

Rey had sweet dreams, the kind of dreams that filled her with warmth and promise but slipped away entirely once she had opened their eyes. It was something soft, rubbing along her ankle that woke her. She opened her eyes to find the moonlight fully dousing her room through the open window, and the dark shadow of Ben sitting there at the foot of her bed. 

"I did not mean to wake you," he whispered. 

He looked tired, himself. His shirt was untucked and he looked more ruffled than he had that morning. She sat up after giving a feline stretch. 

"I am glad you did. I missed you," she said, wrapping her hands around his so that she might draw the knuckles to her mouth. 

She dusted them with soft kisses. 

"My King," she said, laughing softly. 

He smiled, his free hand found the side of her face, and then her hair, tracing down the tender part of her neck. She wondered if he was remembering, too. 

"I came to see that you settled in well, and will let you rest." 

"Stay," she said, not wishing to let him go so soon. 

"I should not, there are quite a few eyes on us now." 

"You can sneak out before sunrise," she tempted him, realizing she was being rather forward. She should have thought about the _follies._

"Rey," he said, his voice soft. She realized she was about to be disappointed. "We should not tempt fate any further." 

She knew he was right, but she didn't want him to go. That overrode all sense. 

"I feel as if I am always the one chasing after you," she looked at his hand in hers. "Is that how it's to be?" 

"You've gotten good at making me feel guilty," he teased, leaning in to kiss her lips. 

She leaned back into him, her fingertips catching in the collar of his shirt. It was so easy, this back and forth. So easy to slip into with him. So comfortable, and safe. 

He gave a thoughtful hum as she kissed him, the sound rumbling between each soft peck, and she knew then that she had gotten what she wanted. 

"You will always have your way with me, it seems." 

"Always," she whispered against his mouth. 

He pulled back, standing up from the edge of the bed. He locked the door, pulling the curtains nearly all the way shut so that only a sliver of light crept through, stretching out across the bed. He pulled the leather tunic off, and his boots, but he did not fully undress. He slid into the bed beside her, and she found her place rather easily at his chest. 

He ran his fingers through her hair, rubbing gently at her scalp as he kissed the crown of her head. 

"Goodnight, my Queen." 

She found she didn't hate it so much, after all.

❂

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woo boi aren't these two lovesick dummies GONE for each other


	20. Blood and Misery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The room fell into blackness. 
> 
> And then there was chaos.

❂

The day had started off so well.

Rey had woken up in what was quickly becoming her favorite fashion - tangled up with the King of Korriban. She had expected that he would be gone in the morning, but she felt the sure weight of his heavy arm wrapped around her waist and she knew he had overslept. Sometime in the night, he had removed his shirt and dropped it onto her floor, further proof that he hadn't really intended to leave her in the morning. 

In the throes of girlish adoration, it was easy to forget the situation that they were in - that they were in hostile territory planning to overthrow a King of one realm who had overstepped his bounds into another - a move that had been apparently planned since his birth. Rey didn't even think about it, instead preferring to forget that small detail and focus on the man who was asleep beside her. 

He looked remarkably boyish in his sleep, and Rey had an urge to tuck white flowers in his hair - his hair that had become like a mane in the past few weeks, threaded through with chocolate hues and dark black. She reached out to carefully tuck it out of his face, and the whisper of her fingers on his forehead was enough to stir him. When he saw her, he smiled, shifting lazily in his position in a half-hearted attempted to stretch. 

Instead, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her atop of him. She gave a small noise of delight, he moved her around so easily, as if she weighed nothing. Her hair fell forward, and he used his large hands to push it out of her face before kissing her. Rey thought she should've minded the morning breath, but she did not. Each time Ren kissed her she felt it shimmer and shudder through her body, it _completely_ distracted her. 

His hands drifted down her frame, the nightgown suddenly feeling quite slight beneath his touch. He squeezed her ass, causing her to release a slight huff of pleased air. It was amazing how quickly it went from playful to _not-so-playful_. 

It was different, the kiss slow and smoldering as if he wanted to take his time that morning. He grabbed her and pressed her into the bed, sliding betwixt her thighs as if he always belonged there. Rey gave another trembling sigh, arching up against him as he kissed her jawline and found that sweet spot at her neck. 

And then, there was a knock at her door. 

Ren stilled, immediately, his head turning towards the door. Rey bit her bottom lip, pressing her hands back against the bed. 

"Rey?" It was Rose at the door. "You've slept rather late this morning. Are you well?" 

Rey had to clear her throat out, though her voice still came out as strangled. 

"I am well," she croaked. "I'll be down in a moment." 

"Very well," Rose said, her voice growing distant. 

They listened for steps, and they heard them and satisfied themselves that she had gone. 

Ben laughed, quietly. The next kiss he gave her was chaste and quick. He moved to get off of her, and she clamped her legs around him. 

"We have a few minutes," she said. 

"You're incorrigible," he whispered, kissing her again. "I've got to go. I've stayed too late already." 

Rey was forced to let him go, watching his bare, muscled back as he pulled his shirt on. Rey wished it didn't feel like they were always saying goodbye. She would've liked to stay in a bedroom with him for a week, she realized. She might have been willing to tie him up to do it. 

"Where are you going?" she asked, forcing herself to sit up. 

She noted the way that his eyes lingered on the exposed tops of her thighs. She didn't pull her nightgown down. 

She really was being incorrigible. 

"I promised I would meet Poe, Finn, and the others. We have much to talk about." 

"I suppose I'm not invited," she said, finally sitting up completely and sliding out of the bed. 

"You are if you wish it, but I believe your friend is a bit frightened here. I thought you might want to stay with her." 

"Rose?" Rey asked. 

"Yes, Rose," he replied. 

Rey realized she had completely overlooked her friends due to the recent events, and she felt a bit ashamed of herself. 

"Do you think we're safe here?" 

"As safe as you would be anywhere." 

"As safe as I would be with you?" She asked, playfully. 

"There are guards. I've made sure that you're safe." 

Ben smiled as he looked at her. He had an open look on his face, and she could read all of his emotions there. His eyes were growing more yellow by the day, and she had to admit, it suited him. It was as open as she had ever seen him. There was no more armor there. 

"Good morning, my lady," he said quietly as he stood, slipping out into the unoccupied hallway. 

She couldn't hear his steps as he moved away, though she wished she could. It might have been some sign that he was there at all. 

Rey bathed as quickly as she could before plaiting her hair back out of her face and putting on her 'mens' clothes, breeches, a tunic, and a pair of boots. She looked through the closet for a jacket of sorts, surprised to find that they had retrieved her bow and arrows. She smiled, drawing her fingertips over it before she grabbed it from it's resting place and went downstairs. 

"Good morning," she said, seeing Rose sitting at the end of an empty table. "Are you well, Rose?" 

Rose didn't look like she was feeling well. 

"I'm alright," she said. "Should we have breakfast? Kylo Ren just left." 

"Oh," Rey said, unable to hide her disappointment even though she had known he would. "Yes, breakfast." 

"I've already had some tea," Rose said, a bit sleepily. 

Rey was really beginning to be concerned for her. She wasn't acting like herself. The cook shuffled out, looking sleepy as well. It was as if a sleeping spell had been cast on the entire house. She wondered at it, and wondered if Ben had noticed it - but she realized he had probably been in a hurry. The cook had barely made it back into the kitchen before Rose had completely lost consciousness. 

Rey was quick to get out of her seat, moving over towards her friend to keep her from falling out of her chair. She slid her down to the floor, gently resting Rose's head back. 

"Rose?" She tried, her voice a bit frantic. "Rose?" 

She kept shaking her friend and gently patting her face. Panicked, she checked Rose's pulse. She was relieved when she found it there, sure and steady. Rey looked at her breakfast, deciding it would be best not to touch it. She kept remembering what Phasma had done to Ren. She went into the kitchen to find the cook asleep in much the same fashion, passed out on the long table where food was prepared. She checked her pulse, just in case. 

Rey grabbed her bow as she made her way outside. 

The guards were asleep. 

Rey heard the horses before she saw them. There were at least six of them, all with riders. She knew from the turn that the morning had taken that these were not friends. She took aim, and with an intensity, she didn't realize she was capable of, she shot one of them straight off of the horse. She repeated the motion, taking down another, the whizzing sound followed by a pleasant 'thunk' as the arrow found flesh. These were Phasma's men, she remembered what they had been wearing. 

Rey felt rather good about herself until she saw, truly, how many riders there were. Perhaps not wanting to risk it again, Phasma had gathered a whole battalion. Rey knew she had to run, but she couldn't leave Rose there. She nocked another arrow and took aim, taking down the third rider. 

She managed to do so one more time before she realized she was out of arrows. She did not know what had happened to them all, but not all had been retrieved, obviously. She tried to move back into the house, but they were already on her, one man going so far as to fly off of his horse just to wrestle her to the ground. Rey fought and kicked, even biting the man a few times, but he held fast. 

Rey found herself bound. 

It was Phasma who addressed her, though Rey had a difficult time seeing her through the light of the Korriban sun. 

"You've killed two of my men," she said, surprise evident in her voice. "Take that away from her." 

The remaining men dismounted, one of them still struggling with an arrow sticking out of his bicep. The uninjured man took the bow that had fallen at her side, throwing it far away into the brush. Phasma finally hopped down off of her horse, grabbing Rey and yanking her up by her binds. Rey grunted though she was beginning to doubt there was any foreseeable way out of her binds. 

"You are a pain in my ass, little Queen," Phasma muttered. "Clear the house. Make sure everyone sleeps." 

"Please!" Rey shouted. "Do not hurt them, they've done nothing wrong!" 

"Don't worry, we've express instructions not to harm anyone. We simply need someone to deliver our message. The King believes you'll make a good bargaining tool, and if we hurt anyone it might be markedly less effective. If Ren refuses to come to us, we must come to him." She smiled. I can't believe he's left you here alone."

"He won't come after me," she said, though even she knew it was a falsehood. 

Phasma laughed. 

"Don't worry, little dove. We just need him to do something for us, and then we'll let you all go to live happily ever after." 

Rey was gagged, after that. She screamed and struggled, exhausting herself in the process, even as she was tossed onto the back end of a horse. 

There was something more to this than just a kingdom. 

The Palace was astounding. Black Obsidian with spires that reached so high in the sky Rey had a hard time believing they could be built by human hands. She did not see much from the back end of the horse, however, and she was quickly put in front of Hux in a large room draped with so much red it was difficult to see straight. Everything shone and glimmered, seemingly with its own magic and heat. 

"Ah," Hux said, clearly drunk. "My wife." 

Korriban had not been kind to Hux. He was far more in his cups than she had ever seen him. His hair was unkempt and she spied the beginnings of a beard shadowing his face. He never went without shaving, at least not the Hux that she knew. He was still wearing his dressing gown, an oversight she wished he'd corrected before he had her brought before him. 

Rey was pushed forward, falling onto her knees with no way to catch herself. It hurt, and she gave a small cry around the gag that was shoved in her mouth. 

"Take that off of her," Hux instructed, waving his finger around as if he were doing magic. "I thought it was about time to bring you back to me. Or have you forgotten that we are still married?" 

"What are you _doing_ , Hux?" Her voice was hoarse. 

"What am I doing?" he asked as if it were all just one big joke. 

"Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to take over Korriban?" 

"Well, why not? My Kingdom is running on empty tills," he said. "And I am married to a woman who's dowry never paid." 

He was slurring his words. 

"What?" 

"Oh, that's right. You don't know. You don't know that your father rescued you as an orphan girl with no money to speak of. It was one of those rare moments of kindness he no doubt had - but Lor San Tekka wasn't your father. Oh no, you are the daughter of a blacksmith and the woman who helped raise you. And once he foisted you off onto me, he saw no need to give me any of his money." He looked at her, viciously. "That's right, my Queen. You're nothing." 

Rey felt the air seep out of her lungs. 

"But surely, the land," Rey said, stuttering. She would have to deal with the shock of her parentage another time. 

"It's worth nothing. Going back to the ocean, as it were. And Korriban is in need of a king, why shouldn't I step in? Of course, I didn't anticipate the damn blood magic and Kylo Ren." 

"Blood magic?" Rey asked. Surely he was very drunk to believe that there was living magic in Korriban. 

"Oh, he hasn't told you," He poured himself what was left of his wine. "The reason why Korriban is so sought after? Imagine how easily you might control the world with all of the firelight. But the magic--" 

"Hux, there is no magic," she said, flatly. 

"Yes, there is," Hux replied, sharply. "Why do you think I let him live? The damn thing only responds to blood. Ren is the best shot we've got." 

"Ben won't do this," she said. 

"He will now. You see, your little friends on the Island were quite chatty when we applied pressure. There was a consensus that you have become quite close."

"What?" 

"Weren't you wondering how we always seemed to know where you were? Anyway," he continued on with his tale. "They've told us that you and the would-be King have become very close. I admit, I never took you for a slut. Did you let him fuck you?" 

Rey felt like she'd been slapped. 

"My lord," it was Phasma. "You've had enough wine, my lord. I'll take the girl." 

It was a kindness, perhaps, but Rey thought it was far more likely that Phasma didn't want Hux drunkenly spilling anymore of their little plan. Rey was pulled back, having difficulty staying steady on her feet. Even Phasma handled her more gently, though it didn't spare her from the fate of the wide dungeon beneath the palace. 

She was thrown into an unforgiving cell that smelled of odors no human should ever have to smell. Rey realized she should not cry, but she had just been sold out to a man she hated by a man she had considered her friend. 

She could not help but cry.

❂

Rey was brought dinner, which she left sitting at the maw of her cage. She watched as an overlarge rat took an interest, chewing its way through the dark heel of bread that had been left behind. Rey swallowed, settling down into her empty cell and pulling her knees around her chest. She pressed her face into her knees, damning herself for how stupid she'd been.

They all should've stayed together. It hurt more than she thought it would, and she fought the urge not to melt into deep, wracking sobs. Why would he do such a thing? Rey worried for Rose and the others, and she wondered what would happen when Ben got back to the house. 

She was met with the thought that it might have been the last time she would ever see Ben or any of them. Once Hux got what he wanted, there would be no reason to keep her alive. She almost wished that Ben would not come here, as she wagered it was likely some kind of trap. 

After the first day in the cell passed, they began to bleed together. On what seemed like the third day, Rey was sure that no one would come for her. She ate the heel of bread that was left, though it made her sick to her stomach to even consider it, she was so hungry. Hunger became a gnawing, constant presence in her mind. 

On the fourth day, Phasma came down into the dungeon, dressed in full, peacock blue regalia. 

"Get her out of there, and get her cleaned up. We have word that he will make an appearance tonight," Phasma said, suddenly uncaring that Rey heard her plans. "She must be in good shape, or this whole plan might be useless." 

Rey knew it was not what they had been expecting. There had been plans to crash a coronation, not be forcibly brought to make a deal at a hostile table. She wondered if they would keep to their plans, or if they would come up with an entirely new plan. Rey was dragged through the dark, glittering hallways. She was exhausted and deprived of food, water, and sunlight. 

The maids did what they could with her. 

She was fed a small meal, which revived her some. She was also given a strange tonic, which she was loathed to accept but was forced to drink anyway. Rey realized she could stand upright, though her hands were still bound behind her back, making it quite obvious she was still a prisoner. When she was stood in front of the mirror, it was almost easy to ignore. 

Her hair had been curled around her shoulders and threaded through with glinting gold. They had dressed in a dress with a high waist-line, something of a new fashion statement. The skirt fell in shimmering reds and golds, and it looked almost like fire. Her eyes were done in dark kohl, and she had gold sparkle glimmering at her cheekbones. 

She almost did not recognize herself. 

Still, underneath all of the glamor, she looked thin and tired. 

Rey was brought into a large room, lit with thousands of candles and shimmering with that strange oil slick color that the whole palace seemed to have. It was as if the floor was water and the walls were reflective, creating the strange sense that the place was otherworldly. The candles cast a deep, discomfiting yellow glow that Rey might have found beautiful under any other circumstances. It just made her uneasy, as if she were attending a place of worship for her own demise. 

She was brought before Hux, who looked soberer than he had the last time she had seen him. Beside him was a woman, small and slight, her features painted with gunmetal gray makeup. It was unlike anything Rey had ever seen, and she almost looked unreal. 

"This is her?" She asked. "Your wife?" 

"Not anymore, my dear," he said. "Once this evening is over with, we will be well rid of her." 

Rey was sat next to a long line of men. Men she should have recognized. The men who were always at Ren's side, at least, a good number of them. Rey realized that they had been steadily collecting people he cared about to draw him here. She could not know what his fate would be if he came here. 

Rey knew it, almost immediately, when Ben Solo came striding into the hall. He was dressed in the garb of a Prince, and Rey saw that all of his weapons had been taken from him. She jerked forward, trying to get free of the guard that held her, but she was yanked back so fiercely her wrists stung. He wore the deep red of Korriban, his cape shimmering like oil in the low light. He held his gloved hands up, a sign of surrender. Rey was sure that his eyes were glowing, they were so yellow. He'd never looked more radiant. She was sure that even some of his scars were fading. 

It was hard now to deny that he was the King of this realm. The place even seemed to respond to his presence, drawing him into its dark womb with welcoming hands. He gave her a brief look, and she tried to convey all of her feeling in the mere seconds he had looked at her and then looked away. She wanted to tell him to run. 

"You've come alone, I trust?" 

"As per our agreement," he said, dropping his hands to his sides. 

"What a sight you make," Hux said, leaning in to whisper something to the woman at his side. 

She smiled in a way that reminded Rey of the sharks back in Manaan. 

"You've brought me here, Hux. Now it's time to do as you've promised." 

"Not until you do as you promised. I agreed to let them free, but only if you provide me with your blood and your Kingdom. This could have been so much more polite, you know." 

Looking at Hux, Rey knew he was not going to keep his end of the bargain...purely because he could. Maybe it would look weak, that the new King of Korriban should not allow these traitors to live, or maybe he felt the need to satisfy some vengeance, but Rey knew she would not make it through the night. 

Ben did not look at her again. 

"Fine," Ben said. 

"Don't do this!" she found herself shouting before she even realized it. 

Everyone turned to look at her, except Ben. It seemed as if he couldn't. If he did, he might crumble. 

"Ben," she said, wishing he would look at her. "He means to kill us anyway." 

"Someone shut her up." 

"I won't give you what you want if you lay another hand on her," Ben said, through his teeth. 

"Ah, there he is. The Beast of the Realm," Hux waved his hand. "Go on, shut her up." 

The man who was guarding her pulled her to her feet. He shoved a foul smelling rag into her mouth. Rey realized it was coated with something. He pushed her closer to one of the candles, holding her far enough away that she could feel the flickering heat of the flames, made stronger by how many there were. Ben took a step forward, and Hux was quick to rise out of his chair. 

"Take another step, Knight. Then you might see what will happen to your whore." 

Rey felt herself being pushed closer to the candles, head first. If the rag in her mouth ignited, there would be little stopping the flame from engulfing her. 

"I grow tired of this," Hux said, taking a large swig of wine. "We only need his blood, which I'm sure will come in spades. Kill him." 

As soon as the words tripped off of his tongue, Rey heard the telltale sounds of an arrow. It met it's intended target, heavily. She could hear him choking, blood quickly filling up his mouth as he tried to gather air. The guard who had been holding her pushed her forward, but he did not hold her aloft. She barely managed to avoid the flame as she fell again, still bound by the rope. 

She pushed the rag from her mouth with her tongue, glad to be rid of the awful taste, and took three big gasps of air. She turned to see that the pitiful gurgling noises were coming from Hux, the man who had once been her husband. The arrow had pierced him straight through his neck. His lips were bubbling red with blood, and his face was pale. He had already died, drowned in his own blood and misery. 

The room fell into blackness. 

And then there was chaos.

❂

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (don't forget about snoke tho)


	21. Incinerated

❂

_She was dreaming of swimming._

_The water was cold, but once she got her legs and arms moving her body warmed up, and she was able to swim easily. There was a push of the waves against her body, but she broke past it, always thrilling for the moment when she reached the deeper sea. She didn't have to go up for air, still breathing even though she knew that wasn't normal._

_She kept swimming._

_She was blessed with some sort of sight that allowed her to see, even as the water got darker._

_Rey stopped, seeing the familiar frame of Ben Solo, floating free in the depths of the water. She swam for him. She swam and she swam, and she never seemed to get any nearer._

_Rey heard an unearthly sound, a roar that seemed to shatter the quiet peace that surrounded her. She saw what looked like a great beast, swirling around Ben._

"Rey!" Someone shouted. And then again, more forcefully. 

She opened her eyes, finding it was incredibly difficult to do so. Finally, she did. 

It was Finn, leaned over her with his hands on her arms. 

"Oh thank the Gods," he breathed out. "Are you alright?" 

"My head hurts," she said, reaching behind her skull. When she drew her fingers away, she saw the oil slick of blood. 

"You cracked your head pretty good when you fell back," He said, quickly rushing her to her feet. "We have to go." 

"Where's Ben?" 

"Not here. I don't have time to explain now. Hurry." 

Rey hadn't remembered falling back or losing consciousness. She only remembered the arrow in Hux's throat and the sick sounds of him drowning in his own blood. When she looked back, the hall was dark, but she could hear the sounds of battle even behind her. 

"He might be there and need our help," she said weakly. 

"He's not," Finn said, ducking down a dark hall as a few of Hux's men rattled past them. "Shh." 

Finn ducked out into the hallway. Rey stumbled in the gladiator style sandals they' put on her, her head still woozy from being knocked. She hoped it wasn't cracked open. The back of her hair felt sticky. Finn pulled her along, unwilling to pause for even a minute to let her regain herself. The Palace was swarming with agents of the King, and it sounded as if more of them were arriving. 

"Finn," she tried, tugging her hand from his. He grasped it again. "Finn!" 

He finally turned to look at her. 

"Please tell me what happened," she was firm, planting her feet against the ground. 

"We have to get out of here, Rey. I'll tell you once we do." 

"Where is everyone?" 

"Poe is here, somewhere, with the others," His voice cracked, betraying his concern for his friend. "Rose is back at the house, with the doctors. She still wasn't awake, last I saw her." 

"What happened to Ben?" 

"Someone assassinated Hux the minute he ordered to have Ben killed. I didn't see it was done until the aftermath. Ben told us to keep hidden. He had a plan that he was going to give them his blood to get you free, whatever it took...but Hux clearly had no thoughts of letting anyone walk out of here alive. We thought as much might happen, so we gathered as many people who could hold a pitchfork or a knife as possible, and those that were able to make it in time from the Island. Hux told him he would give him a week before he started cutting off your fingers." 

"Gods," Rey breathed out. 

"The room went dark, Ben was gone when we were able to get the candles relit again. And then--" Finn paused. 

"What, Finn?" 

Rey didn't really require an answer. As if on cue, she heard that great monstrous screech that she'd heard in her dreams. It rattled the palace walls, threatening to send sconces flying out of their place. Rey heard the obsidian rock as it came loose from its formation in the wall, rolling down and threatening to fall on their heads. 

"No one was anticipating the dragon," Finn said, flatly. 

"Wh-Dragon?" Rey breathed out. 

It screamed again. 

Finn grabbed her hand and they continued on their trek out of the palace. 

If Rey thought that the inside of the Palace was chaos, she was not prepared for the outside of it. There were small battles going on everywhere, and Rey felt the heat of many fires blast against her face as she walked into the arid air. Finn's grip on her hand loosened, his eyes on the sky that had been filled with fire and brimstone, lined like the very bellows of hell. 

The beast hung from one of the spires on the palace, it's great black claws tearing into the stone as if it were nothing. She could see its wings, folded back in a way that reminded her of a bat. Even from the distance, she could see the molten gold veins lining the two massive wings. The dragon was scaled, black and red, its eyes a feral orange pupil set on black where whites normally would have been. It screeched as another round of arrows were launched at it, shaking them off like so much nothing. 

It didn't appear to want to leave the tower. 

"He's up there," Rey said, so quietly she wasn't sure Finn heard her. 

"What?" Finn said, shocked. 

"Ben is up there, I know it." 

Rey pulled her hand free of Finn's hand. He reached for her again, but she was already out of reach. She was running, uncaring about how much it hurt and how dizzy she was. She knew with every fiber of her body that Ben was there, and something drove her in his direction, like a magnet. Finn was chasing her, but she kept running, pulling her dress as high as she could so that it wouldn't disrupt the movement of her legs - her hair flying out behind her like gossamer. He was shouting her name, but the background noise became an overwhelming din. She could no longer pick out individual sounds. 

She kept running.

❂

How to get up? How to get up to where the Dragon was?

Rey ran through the open doors of the spire that she had targeted, finding it was a chapel of sorts that had likely fallen into disuse. She could see blood, trailing. She followed it, finding a back set of stairs that lead up. Rey hoped it was not Ben's blood. She had an ill feeling that it was. 

She kept going, the stairs seeming endless, time ticking away more quickly than she willed it to. She heard the beast again and nearly lost her balance as the spire rattled, forcing her to put her hands out and keep herself still. If the spire came down on her, she didn't care - at least she would've been trying to get to Ben. Ben who had not asked for any of this, Ben who had been expelled from his kingdom when he was such a boy. Ben who had almost died too many times to count. 

_It couldn't go like this._

Rey's thoughts were racing. She was jumping back across the last weeks, months, and years. Should she have known it was coming? There was always talk of Dragons, but they were from an era and a time that had passed before her forefathers had even been alive to think of procreating. It began to make sense why they had let him live after they had guessed at his origins. It wasn't the firelight that was the problem, it was the Dragon. 

They had been looking in the wrong place. 

Rey did not think that the stairs would ever end. She had lost Finn, the adrenaline in her body pushing her to speeds she hadn't thought she was capable of. 

The stairs finally ended. 

It took Rey a few moments to fully process what she was seeing. 

The great dragon was being accosted by a man Rey had never seen before. His face unsettled her; as if it had been caved in and an unskilled hand had taken to putting the pieces of his skull back together. He wore a great gold robe, and his arms were covered with blood up to his forearms. Ben was unconscious, face down on the stone. 

The man had not noticed her. 

Rey fell forward, scrambling her way to Ben. 

She could not tell if he was breathing. All she could see was the mess of blood. It had started on his arms, the man having ripped his sleeve away to draw blood from the skin by cutting. Some of the wounds were deep and careless, and Ren had lost some blood. Rey pushed her finger against his neck, begging and pleading with the heavens that she could find a pulse. She rolled him over. He was heavy, dead weight. She pressed her head on his chest.

_Please._

"Damn beast!" The man shouted. "Look, look at your Master's blood!" 

The Dragon reared back, fire hiccuping from its large nostrils. It was confused, Rey could see. The smell of Ben's blood had it disoriented, and it swayed it's head back and forth like a snake, trying to make sense of what it smelled. 

"You belong to me now! I have killed him!" 

Rey's heart sank. She didn't want to believe it, and couldn't see through the tears that now stung her eyes. She kept pressing her head against his chest, his blood smeared on her hands as she desperately tried to convince herself he wasn't dead. 

She put her hands on either side of his face, moving it to face her. She willed him to open his eyes. He did not. 

"Oh Ben," she sobbed out, quietly. "I love you. I love you." 

She pressed a kiss to his mouth, letting it linger on his lips before she blinked through her tears to find the man still standing at the ledge. He was keeping the dragon away from Ben. 

"Rey!" Finn shouted, fumbling out onto the scene without realizing what he was looking at. 

The noise drew the attention of the man standing at the ledge. Finn stepped back, and they both turned to find him turning on them, stepping down from the ledge where he had stood. The dragon fell back, the fire still burping from its nostrils in its confusion. The look on the man's face was absolutely venomous. Rey realized then that this could be no one other than Snoke. 

Snoke's apparent frailty was just that, a facade. 

He tilted his head and smiled, or rather, it was a mockery of a smile as he took in the battered Queen. 

"Too late for him, I'm afraid."

"Rey!" Finn shouted again. 

She felt the need not to budge from Ben's side, even though she knew he was dead. Rey began to feel great gusts of wind, so powerful that she was sure they would be pushed back from their position. She watched Finn struggle against the wind before he completely lost his stance and flew backward. 

Rey quickly realized it was the flapping of the great dragon's wings as it followed behind Snoke. Rey did not leave Ben, and she consigned herself to the fact that she would be burned alive here with him. Finn fought back against the tidal wave of wind, but he got no closer. The only one seemingly unaffected by it was Snoke, though he seemed unaware that the beast was following him. 

"It's about time I took care of you too, Queen," he seethed through his teeth. 

He gave a command in a language that Rey did not understand, and the dragon bustled forward, almost as if it had stumbled. Rey waited for her inevitable fate, but it did not come. The dragon continued to stall. Snoke repeated the command more forcefully, and still, nothing happened. He kept repeating the command, each time more forcefully, growing more panicked with each call. Rey realized she might have to take this opportunity to turn the tide. 

She was about to pull away when she felt someone grab her hand. 

It couldn't have been Finn, could it have? 

Rey could not dare to hope, but when she looked down she saw it was Ben's hand grasping her own - still gloved. 

"Ben?" she sniffed, her expression dropping in surprise. 

His eyes were open. They were as yellow as she had yet to see them, seeming to glow with some supernatural light. He didn't even seem to recognize her as he sat up, releasing her hand and turning to face the old man who was currently advancing on them. His cape caught the wind behind him, and Snoke stopped in his tracks. 

"You are like a bug!" he shouted. 

The command came again, but the beast was not looking at Snoke. It was looking at Ben. Rey was forced to stumble back as the beast gave another great flap of its wings. Rey threw her arm up, trying to shield her eyes from the great gust of warm wind. 

It was Ben that shouted the next command - as if it was a language he had always known. 

Snoke looked as if the entire world had fallen out from underneath him. 

The Dragon obeyed. 

Rey and Finn were forced to run back from where they'd found him, narrowly avoiding the blast of fire that came from the beast's maw. Rey turned back just in time to see the flame engulf Ben, catching the ends of his cloak and turning it to coal. 

There was very little chance he had survived the burst of flame as it engulfed him. 

Finn and Rey could not get back down the stairs quickly enough. Rey's feet were blistered from the sandals she wore, but she bit through the pain - the throbbing in her head, heart, and feet - and kept running. The building was certainly going to come down now, the rampaging dragon now intent on destruction. 

They barely made it out of the spire before it crumbled, and Rey worried that it would take the rest of the palace with it. 

They kept running. 

The Dragon had taken flight, leaving its post on the spire. In the deep light of the lowering sun, Rey could not see into the sky - she could only see the spot of it flying along the horizon. It wasn't done with its bloodletting yet.

❂

As the day aged into the night, the tide turned.

The mere thought of being melted by a Dragon sent many of Hux's men running, especially once they learned of their leaders' fate in the palace. Rey was sure his body was still decomposing in the chair he'd chosen to sit in the night before. The Dragon did not burn the palace, as they were expecting - instead, targeting those that might cause it more harm. The men who belonged to Snoke. The men who were loyal to Hux. The forest and the trees, and anything that might stand in its way, a great lashing out in anguish as the beast had lost its rider. 

Rey had never seen so much flame and fire. 

So much retribution. 

She felt it, the desire to take revenge, though those she might have taken revenge upon were already dead. 

As the men began to disappear, the true destruction became apparent. There were many dead, either from fighting or from the Dragon's disarray. Rey and Finn doggedly found their way back to the palace and began helping in whatever ways they could. Rey was given clothing that she could work in and a pair of shoes that gave her feet some relief, both bloodied and blistered from her running. 

She wanted to curl into a warm bed and break down, but she knew she couldn't. Ben would have wanted her to make herself useful. He would have wanted her to help. 

There were so many injured. 

Rey and Finn began with the terrible process of trying to find those that lived and assist them, the palace becoming sort of a makeshift hospital as doctors and healers were called in from the village. Everyone was terrified of when the beast might return, hopeful that it would find it's way back to whatever it was hoarding and fall back asleep for the next century. 

Leia came in on horseback, looking harried and exhausted. Rose followed, having woken up sometime in the early hours of the morning. Rey had lost track of time, only knowing that the sun had fallen and it had not come back up again. 

An unnatural quiet settled over Korriban, the silence of so many dead or wounded, the silence of a Kingdom who had lost its chance for the monarchy to continue. Ben Solo was dead. 

And so was Hux. 

Rey began to wonder what the point had been, but she realized that Snoke's desire had probably been to tame the Dragon. It had never had anything to do with the firelight, though Hux had probably only seen his coffers filling when he realized that Korriban was atop a natural resource. Rey realized how much of the whole catastrophe had probably been orchestrated by Snoke. He must have realized, read, or guessed that the beast of the realm was not, in fact, Kylo Ren. Snoke needed him alive if he had any hope of trying to control the creature.

It was a Dragon who might only obey the last remaining heir of Korriban. 

Still, it seemed like so much waste. 

The Knights of Ren returned, haggard and sad. They began to assist with the process of carrying those that did not live out into the dark of the hot night. The bugs had already begun to amass, and they were faced with the difficult problem of what to do with so many dead. Rey focused on those that did live, helping with burns and wounds where she could, though she had no real skill with it. 

"We should find him," Kato said, just within her earshot. 

"There will be nothing left of him," Zaka replied, his voice cracking, just a bit. 

"I'd heard tales of a Dragon," he said, trying to shift the subject. "But who knew the thing still lived?" 

"Not I," Leia said, drawing away from comforting a man who might not survive the night. "It was well kept, from all of us." 

"He stumbled right into it." 

"He was trying to protect Rey," Finn said, having come back into the hall after assisting with carrying Hux out of the place where he had died. 

Rey felt the tears welling up. She felt it was her fault, this whole mess. If only she'd been a better archer if only she'd been more prepared. If only she'd run when she had the chance, maybe all of this wouldn't have happened. Leia quickly came to her side, gently grasping her arm. 

"Let us get some air," she said, her voice gentle. 

Rey nodded, haphazardly wiping her tears from her face. She did not want to be seen crying. 

Leia took her arm and lead her away from the chaos. Rey began to cry, unable to stop herself then. Leia allowed her to cry, reaching out for her and pulling her into a warm hug. When Rey had cried herself out, Leia looked at her. 

"You should not blame yourself," she said, her voice warm. 

"Why shouldn't I? I'm nothing. Hux told me of my origins. If I hadn't--" 

"My dear," Leia began. "Your life is just as valuable as Ben's was. If Hux had ever had any understanding of that, he wouldn't have set this entire mess into motion. Ben understood it. He knew that he could not truthfully equate his life with yours, because to him it was just as important, no matter what your origins are." 

Rey let out another quiet sob. Leia handed her her handkerchief, embroidered with the symbol of Korriban. 

"And he certainly loved you." 

It did not make Rey feel any better. 

As they became too exhausted to continue their work, they were forced into rooms in the palace, rooms that had gone untouched by the chaos that had haunted the place. Rose and Rey shared a room, too fearful to sleep on their own in a place that now seemed to echo with the ghosts of those that had died. 

Rey had nightmares, of fire and blood and drowning. She had nightmares that felt as if she was falling and falling, never to hit the solid ground beneath her. Rose did not sleep well either, shifting and whimpering in her sleep. Rey finally gave up on it, though she realized that while she was awake, she would have to deal with the terrible, gaping ache that had settled itself in her chest. 

Memories that had once been happy, memories she would have revisited a thousand times over gleefully were now tinged with the remembrance that Ben was gone. She knew she shouldn't have, but she grieved for Hux as well. 

She might have found some humor in it, her husband and her lover gone, all in one fell swoop. 

Rey found herself wishing that she had been able to see his face one more time, but it was an impossibility now. He had been incinerated. She was thankful that they all lived, in spite of his death. She was thankful that Snoke had not gained control of the beast, only daring to think how great the destruction might have been if he had. She found some comfort in the fact that she was not totally alone. 

When it grew late, she finally found some sleep. 

Her dreams were punctuated by the familiar screech of a black dragon. Her thoughts rattled with the beasts' great claws as it ripped into the ground, causing the earth to shift and crack beneath it. She thought it was just a dream, anyway, until the rattling and the thundering woke her up. 

Rose was already awake, having shot up from the bed with her eyes wide. They listened - as if listening closely would prove to them that it was not the Dragon come back to call. 

"It's back," Rose gasped.

❂

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so u probably didn't see this coming, and i hope it doesn't seem like lazy writing  
> but i just couldn't pass up the opportunity


	22. King of the Realm

❂

Snoke's command unlocked a part of his brain that had been keeping the language of the Dragon - making Ben realize that it had always been there. Ben had felt unsteady since he'd set foot in Korriban, from the ever-shifting color of his eyes to the feeling of having something rumble up inside of him that he couldn't quite explain. There was a beast, coiled in his chest.

He had mistaken it for being once again in his homeland. He had been wrong. 

Hux had taken Rey, and there was this deep sense of something waking up, something that might have been beyond his control. When he had gone to get her away from the Palace, he had done so with the thought that he might not survive. It didn't matter, as long as she did. 

They gathered as many as they could and walked into the Palace as known enemies to it, and it had gone much to his expecting until Hux had threatened to take his life. Something or someone did not like that he might not be standing any longer. 

It had been Snoke, of course, aware that if Ben died the last chances to control the Beast died with him. When the room had gone dark, Ben had found himself overwhelmed by a group of men who slipped in like the shadows only to slip right out again, carrying him along with them. Snoke had dragged him far from Rey, up to one of the unused spires of the Palace. He had been cut, and cut, and cut again. He had bled and been dragged, and as the magic slithered through his bloodstream, he had been sure he would die without ever knowing what had happened to Korriban. 

The scream of the Dragon was not enough to wake him. He was slipping, slipping, drowning. 

And then, something happened. 

The blood that he shared with this creature began to react. It pulsed through him, healing flesh, sewing up wounds, replenishing blood. He woke up as if he'd never been close to death at all. Rey's hand had been wrapped around his own, and her face was written though with concern, with sorrow. She had been sure he was dead. 

He had been sure he was dead. 

Snoke's command rattled him, forcing him to turn his focus onto the dragon. He spoke as if someone else was speaking through him, and the Dragon obeyed, belching flames so hot that Snoke was immediately ripped apart like someone had thrown him into the Korriban sun. The fire had licked at him, and Ben had been sure he was dead as well - but it wrapped around him like a blanket, threatening only to incinerate the ends of his cape. He held his arms up as it continued, blocking his face from the heat, but he began to realize that the fire did not touch him. 

When the building crumbled, he had to take refuge at the beast's back, but he already knew that the dragon would not mind. 

_This was his dragon. His birthright._

It was no wonder Snoke had wanted to overpower and control it. Nothing would ever stand in his way again. The thought of it in Hux's hands made him feel ill. 

The dragon lifted him into the air, so high into the clouds that he could feel the ice forming on his face and clothes. And then, Ben had forced them both back to earth, back to the battle that waged around the Palace - back to Hux's endless men who would fight in his name until they realized he was dead. Ben had turned the tide of the battle, purely because of the dragon. Nothing stood up to the fire, and they both seemed stronger with each other. 

Ben felt it, the slight electricity running through his blood. 

He finally felt as if he was home. 

The destruction was easy. The difficult part was knowing when to pull back, knowing that innocents might be caught in the fray. But even he knew when things had turned. 

The news of Hux had reached the ears of his battalions, and a beast without a head was no beast at all. Then, it began to spread that even the adviser was dead. Snoke was dead. There was no longer any need to fear. Ben saw them in the streets, moving slowly out into the dusty roads to see him pass on the back of Korriban's dragon. He heard them shout: All Hail! 

The King was back. 

Ben went as far as the borders, assuring himself that the conflict had not spread as far as that. It had not, but he knew that his flight served the double purpose of allowing the entirety of the Kingdom to know that the talk of the beast still living was not just a magical rumor. 

Ben was not even aware of how much time had passed until the sun fell into the sky and it turned to night. It was a dark night, blanketed with glittering stars. Ben had never felt so close to the stars, had never seen them burn so brightly. He had a brief feeling, a brief realization that he could've disappeared into the skies and never returned - but it was only a fancy. He felt then the full weight of his responsibility. He had to go back.

The Palace was not exactly a ruin, but Ben noted the terrible remnants of fire and destruction. He smelled the dead, heard the buzz of the flies as they feasted on the carrion flesh. He knew it would be some time rebuilding, some time healing. The Dragon circled a few times, unwilling to hear his command until he shouted it on the wind as forcefully as his lungs would allow. 

The Dragon's cry rattled the palace, and Ben knew there would be no approach that would be stealthy. 

When it landed, the heavyweight shook the ground, and the Dragon was unsettled to be back again, it's memories of Snoke's vicious eyes and intent hanging on it. Ben touched the great creature's scaled neck, filling it with ease until he was able to force it to land. Ben heard the hush of the Palace, though he began to see the lights moving along the windows as people woke. 

He watched as they began trickling out into the courtyard. Gasps came plentifully as people realized in the light of the numerous torches. Rey and Leia were the first to walk out into the courtyard. Rey's face went white as if she had seen a ghost. Her hands began to tremble, and he worried she would drop the torch she had brought with her. He saw his mouth reach out to steady her arm, though the look on her face was much the same. 

Certainly, no one would have survived that flame. 

He gave another command in the strange language, all consonants, and harsh sounds. The Dragon bowed, lowering itself down to the ground as far as it might go. Ben slid down from the back of the great beast, feeling the disconnection almost immediately. He landed on his feet, the wounds that Snoke had inflicted on him a sparse thing of the past. 

Rey dropped her torch as he walked from the Dragon, pausing to brush his hand along its nose, willing it to sleep. 

_Sleep._

The Dragon closed its frightening eyes. 

"Ben," she gasped out, unable to find her voice. 

His mother released her grasp on Rey as she took a step or two forward. Rey was in her nightgown, a crimson shawl wrapped around her shoulders. Her feet were bare, but she didn't care about her state of undress. Her eyes were completely trained on him. Shakily, she reached out to grasp at his clothes, as if reassuring herself that he was real and not a figment of her imagination. 

When she satisfied herself that he was, she fell against him, a quiet sob escaping her. 

"You're alive," he heard his mother say. 

Ben grasped Rey, holding her against him. Looking out beyond her, he saw the others that had followed her out into the courtyard falling to their knees. It was a quiet whisper, like a prayer: 

_All Hail._

❂

There was a lot of work to be done.

The days passed by in a blur. There was the dead, and the injured, and those who remained. Ben did not have time to ruminate on his new connection with a creature of myth. He only had time to deal with the problems that had been set down in front of him. 

They went to work identifying those that had passed. There was the issue of the King of Manaan being dead, survived only by his wife. Manaan had lost a good many men in the fight, some of them that Ren recognized, some of them burned so badly that there would be no recognizing them. It was not the best way to broker peace between the regions, but Ren knew there were no heirs to speak of. He knew he would have to step in, in some ways. 

The days moved slower as they began to rebuild the Palace - losing some of their furious qualities as an uneasy peace settled over the Palace. Ben thought often of the shadowy men who had accompanied Snoke, his mind on where they had gone and why they were not among those dead. He wondered just how far into magick the old man had been. 

His memories began to return; memories of Snoke's insistence that he be killed because his blood was not pure. He remembered the attempt on his life, and how his mother had begged for clemency on his behalf. He knew, somehow, that Snoke's uncertainty regarding the Dragon had kept him alive for as long as it had - it had kept Snoke from following through even when he was in Manaan. There were memories of his boyhood days and even memories of his father. 

And through it all, a connection to a creature that had been smashed by Snoke's meddling. It had been cut off for years. Snoke had been hoping that in all of his research, he had found a way to control the beast himself. 

It had not worked out in his favor. 

Though Ben still felt uneasy, the shadow of the old man hanging over him even after he was dead. 

And then, Korriban began to flower. It began to grow. It began to shift into something that might have resembled a happier place. 

He saw very little of Rey, initially because they were both so busy, and then because it seemed as if there was a wedge driven between them again. Ben had a long list of new duties, and though he tried to steal moments with her, she seemed to drift farther and farther away from him. He began to wonder if her surety that he was dead had killed him in her mind. Perhaps she could not stand the thought of losing him again, so she let him go bit by bit. 

And so the months went by in a blink of an eye, no matter how tightly Ben tried to hold onto them. 

And when his coronation came, hers was a face that he did not see among the many others. 

He had no interest in remaining at the celebration, not without her. He asked the others if they had seen her, and no one could account for her whereabouts. When he had done his part, he slowly made his way to his newly furnished chambers to catch a few moments of peace. In truth, his heart was heavy. He had known the situation would always be difficult, but he had not known she would disappear from him so easily. 

Ben took the heavy black crown from his head and set it aside once he found his way to his own room. He shut the door carefully behind him, his oil-slick black cape slithering out behind him as he slowly made his way over to slide the heavy red curtains aside. The sunlight spilled in through the fully open window - the window that faced the courtyard where the Dragon slept, most days. Ren did not see him, often wondering where the beast got off to when he disappeared. 

It didn't matter when Ben issued a command, the Dragon would appear. 

He turned, hearing a small knock on his chamber door. 

"Enter," he said, as loudly as he could manage. 

Ben felt a mixture of emotions when he saw Rey push the door open. She stepped past it, carefully shutting it behind her. 

"Your Highness," she said, a small, sorrowful smile drifting across her face. 

Ben took note of her clothing. He knew immediately by the state of her clothing that she meant to travel. She was wearing leggings and boots, covered with a white linen tunic that fitted her. Her hair was knotted back away from her neck, an olive green cape slung at her shoulders. 

"My Lady," He responded evenly, unsure of how to act around her. "I did not see you at the celebrations." 

He wished he could reach out for her and pull her back, pull her out of whatever fog plagued her mind. He missed her, terribly. So much so that most nights it ached, and he fought not to find his way to her rooms. 

"I saw you crowned," she admitted. "But I had thought today might be a good day to avoid the fray. There are reports from Manaan about the state of the kingdom." 

"I see," He said. "You mean to leave." 

Rey looked down at the ground, her hands pressed against her stomach as if she was trying to steady herself. All of the bruises and nicks from that night that he had died twice had been washed away from her by time. She looked healthy, her cheeks pink, her waist still slender but no longer sloping inward from hunger. 

"Congratulations," she said, shakily, unable or unwilling to meet his gaze. "There is no one as deserving of it as you." 

"Thank you," he said, keeping his position near his writing desk. "Will you leave today, then? Who will go with you?" 

Ben tried to keep his voice even, and steady. He did this, even though he felt as if his chest was caving in. 

"Finn means to go. Poe, I believe, would like to get back to his Island. Rose will remain, for a time." 

"She is welcome, of course." 

"I thought to come and say goodbye." 

"I appreciate the thought," he admitted. "I would have missing saying goodbye to you." 

Though it might have been easier not to, it would not have been kinder. She finally looked at him. He wondered what she saw when she did. Did she see the Knight or the King? Did it even matter anymore? She had clearly made up her mind to go. 

"Who will rule Manaan?" she finally asked, as if it was enough explanation for her wanting to leave Korriban.

"You, if you wish it," he said, though his voice had gotten quiet. 

"I will not stand on a ceremony that I am still the Queen--" 

"But you are, my lady. You are still the Queen, no matter what demise Hux has met here. I am sorry for the loss of your husband, but the region falls to you in the event that there is no heir." 

"I am not sorry," she replied. "He meant to kill you, I'm sure of it." 

"Yes, I have no doubt of it." 

"I am an orphan, your Highness," she began. 

"Please, call me Ben," he said, as softly as he could without sounding as if he was feeling the sting of it. 

"I am an orphan that Hux married under false pretenses. I can't lay claim to Manaan." 

"You are the Queen," he reminded her. "Unless, of course, you wish to resign the title." 

"It is my home. I feel conflicted about it," he could tell by the look on her face that this was not a lie. 

Ben was unsure of what to say. He wanted to tell her to stay, but he knew he could not force her to stay when she seemed so sure she must go. He did not know what had changed, but he thought it might have something to do with her seeing him come back from the dead on the back of a great black beast. 

"You are so much more than what I thought you were," she whispered. "You must marry well." 

"Rey," He said, finally standing up from his writing desk. He carefully made his way towards her, his voice quiet. "I want to marry you. Nothing has changed unless your feelings for me have. Have they?" 

"I thought you were dead, Ben. I feel as if...Korriban cannot risk you. I cannot risk you. I would rather live without you than live with knowing you are dead." 

"The fault is not yours," He insisted. "It was Hux and Snoke who set the entire mess into motion. It worked out remarkably well, considering. But, if you are set on leaving you, know I will not stop you. Just know, the decision is yours, not mine. If it were mine, I would never be away from you again." 

Rey looked at him. He felt frustrated, wishing he did not have to convince her that it was her that he wanted. He wished she would not continue to run from him. He wished she had never married Hux, but he realized that he might never have known her if she hadn't. The man had certainly done a good job of convincing her that she was worth nothing, and Ben's new and entirely unexpected position seemed to make her even less sure of him. 

"I must go, at some point. If I'm to rule." 

"Of course. And I will go with you." 

"You can't leave Korriban now," she insisted. 

"My mother is here. Korriban will live and thrive. We have rooted out the worst of it, now." 

Rey was silent then. Ben carefully closed the distance between them, moving slowly as to not startle her. She didn't step back from him, instead, looking up at him with a look that was difficult to deconstruct. She seemed to be pondering on her decision, though it also seemed as if she had already decided. 

"You are so different than the man I asked to keep me safe months ago," she whispered. 

"So different that you cannot love me?" 

"I still love you, Ben. You are different, not worse. More sure of yourself. You belong here." 

"I don't see a problem then," he smiled, carefully drawing his hand down the side of her face. "Because I will never love any but you, my Queen. Not from the first day I laid eyes upon you."

❂

Rey postponed her travel, but that did not stop Finn and Poe from continuing on their way. Poe had lost some of his people, and it hung heavy on him. Ben could see that it had strained the relationship between all of them, as the destruction had been so great. They had all lost people, but the grief remained.

Rose remained in Korriban, happier to do so when it became clear that Rey would stay for a time too. 

Leia gave her own engagement ring to Ben, something that had been handed down through many generations. The stone was a deep red, with black stones decorating the black metal band. Even the metal was black as if to kill any doubt that it had come from Korriban. 

They were married on a lovely spring day when the sun was not too hot, and the strange flowers of Korriban bloomed. They were married on a day that the dragon slept, a day that seemed a perfect day to get married. Rey wore white, a red sash tied over her. Ben wore black and red, the heavy dark crown feeling lighter on his brow simply because she was on his arm. She was provided with her own glittering crown of red stone, one that was far different from the one she wore in Manaan. 

Without meaning to, they had bridged the two nations. Fire and water. 

There would be talk, of course. Rey might have seemed mercenary, marrying one king and then another, but she and Ben knew the truth of it. They had fallen in love. 

Once they were married, the celebrations were great, (seemingly) all of Korriban celebrating the union. It would continue well into the night, but as evening fell, Ben and Rey found themselves with an increasing desire to get behind closed doors where no eyes could see them. Leia watched with a smile as the two of them made their goodbyes and gave their thanks for the great, overwhelming support. 

And then, they quietly found their way to his chambers, the rooms they would now share. It was a stark difference from how her marriage with Hux had been, already. 

Ben felt relief to be away from the revelry. He felt as if he had not taken a breath since he had dismounted the Dragon that night. He watched as his wife shut the chamber doors behind her, locking them to keep all servants and maids away. The room had already been prepared, lined with lit candles that put off a white glow. The bed was made, there was a full display of food and wine (something that Ben had argued was unnecessary but had been overruled on anyway), and decoration of the deep red flowers that grew only in his Kingdom. Ben had always noticed a faint underpinning of iron in their scent, but it seemed fitting that night. 

She turned to look at him, a smile on her painted red mouth. 

"How do you feel, wife?" he asked, moving to remove the heavy crown from his head. 

"Thoroughly married," she said, facetiousness creeping into her tone. 

"And are you disappointed?" 

"No," she said, softly. "Very happy." 

"You are different too, you know," he pointed out. 

"Am I?" 

"Yes. No longer a girl." 

"How could I be? So many things have changed." 

Ben watched her draw away from the door. She looked radiant in her lace white gown which had been hand-embroidered with patterns of dragons, an unusual choice for a bride but one she had made nevertheless. She was the bride of the dragon, after all. She lifted the crown off of her curled mass of hair, setting it beside his own. Ben looked at the two of them, side by side, and was struck with how differently he had expected his life to end up. 

Dead in a swamp somewhere at the behest of a King into whose service he had pledged himself. 

Certainly not beside the former Queen of Manaan as her husband and a King himself. 

Ben still had difficulties conceiving himself as such, but he kept hoping that someday he might accept the fact that he was, in fact, a King. 

"You seem far away," she pointed out. 

"I am only thinking of how unusual this has turned out to be." 

Rey laughed, the sound pleasant to his ears, her laughing indicating that she agreed with the statement, he thought. 

"Will you have some wine?" she asked, taking a moment to unclasp the long lace veil from her hair and hang it aside. 

Ben watched as she began unpinning her dark hair, enjoying the domesticity of the moment - realizing he might get to watch her unpin her hair each and every night. He took a seat at the foot of his bed, his eyes on the fine slope of her neck and her back, encased with the lovingly sewn lace bodice of the dress. In the fading sunlight, he could see the soft fuzz of her baby hairs along her arms as she shifted her hair out of it's confines. 

His wife was certainly beautiful. 

"Will you?" she turned around to look at him with a smile, having realized by way of the looking glass that he was staring at her. 

"Certainly," he replied, unable to help the smile that broke out onto his face. 

When she moved to retrieve it, he stood up and blocked her path. He couldn't help it, he hadn't kissed her in such a long time. 

"You aren't being very helpful with the wine," she said, looking up at him. 

"It'll keep," he murmured in reply. 

"Will it?" she teased, but he could tell she did not have the fortitude to tease him for very long. 

They hadn't even really touched one another for months, and Ben could not conceive of true struggle until he was forced to be around her and not touch her. 

He slid his hands along her arms, enjoying the feel of her warmth beneath the lace. She tilted her features up to him, her expression open and curious. This was not to be a wedding night where she would be fearful - where either of them would be. He kissed her, and she leaned up into him, her lips easily parting as he made quick work of her mouth. Her tongue was warm and pliant, and the more they lingered there, the closer he pulled her. 

Her fingertips traced the back of his neck before she slung her arms around his shoulders, standing on the tips of her toes as he leaned down into her. The kiss was a slow burn, a sort of melding, as they reacquainted themselves with each other. They had time now, time to do as they pleased. Ren felt the subtle shift of her hands as she unlatched the trinket that held his cloak at his shoulders. It fell to his feet with a loud rush of air, though he didn't care to retrieve it. 

Ben swung her back towards their bed, his fingertips slowly undoing the fastenings that held the back of her wedding dress closed. It fell at her shoulders, and Ben felt her slide out of it. She broke the kiss with a few lingering kisses to his lips before she pulled back to look at him. The slip she wore beneath the dress was soft and thin, and Ren felt his blood rush between his legs as he noted the silhouette of her rose-colored breasts and the dark thatch of hair between her legs. 

He had dreamed of her often since the first time, sometimes waking covered in sweat and his cum. He had not had such dreams since he was a much younger man, and now he was nearly thirty-two. 

She looked at him, a smile on her face as she ran her fingers over the regalia he'd been forced into as a part of their wedding day. She found the fastenings on his leather over-wear and seemed pleased to see it fall away from him as she undid them. Rey slid her hands along the muscles of his abdomen, lifting the fine shirt and untucking it from his breeches. She slid it over his head and he bent to give her better access. It fell to the floor along with the rest of their clothing. 

Rey boldly undid the laces on his breeches, her fingertips eagerly finding the length of his cock even through the fabric. It was difficult for Ben to not just throw her onto the bed, but he realized with some relief that they had time now when they hadn't before. He gave a rough exhalation, enjoying the way her face seemed to light up when she did something he enjoyed. 

"You're certain -- " she sighed as he kissed her again. "You don't want any wine?" 

Instead of replying, he drew her up against him, silencing her as he continued to kiss her. The last thing in his thoughts was wine. He sat her back against his bed, plush and a far cry from what they'd first done this in. Rey continued her job of unlacing his pants, pushing half-heartedly at his hips while they both fell back onto the bed, still connected at the mouth. Rey gave a sighing moan, which was nearly drowned in his own mouth. 

"Take these off," she muttered against the corner of his mouth as they tangled atop the bedclothes. She tugged on his trousers, indicating the offending piece of clothing. 

He pulled back, nearly unwilling to do so. Rey smelled like sugar and honey, and he realized she had probably bathed in all manner of sweet items before the wedding had taken place. He wanted to put his mouth all over her, as she would probably taste sweet as well. He slid out of his boots and then his breeches, leaving him rather naked and her still covered in her slight slip. Rey reached out for him, her fingertips making contact with the hard flesh. She explored the head of his cock with her fingertips before she found the base and began giving soft, hesitant strokes. 

He wrapped his hand around hers, helping her find a rhythm that was satisfying. He was utterly surprised when he felt her tongue flick out across the head. He opened his eyes, unable to peel his gaze away from her as she opened her mouth and encompassed him with it. He gave a surprised gasp, forcing himself not to buck into her mouth. His hands moved to pull her hair from her face, finding he thoroughly enjoyed the sight of her like this. 

"Rey," he murmured, and her brown eyes flickered up to him, an impish sort of pleasure apparent there. 

She was enjoying that he was enjoying himself. 

She licked the salty pre-cum from his cock, and he kissed her lips, tasting himself there. Hungrily, she pulled him down on top of her. He settled between her legs, hips rolling as he felt the warmth of her cunt against his cock. Rey surprised him again, shifting their positions so he was forced back against the bed and she was on top of him. He was beginning to realize it might have been her favored position, but it made for a nice view, so Ben wouldn't complain. 

She lifted the slip over her head, tossing it aside and shaking the length of her hair out around her bare shoulders. 

"You're so beautiful," he said, reaching out to touch her. 

Rey caught his hand and kissed the palm of it. She kept up the lovely friction, and before long he was slick with her. She positioned herself atop him, and he helped her, carefully sliding the head of his cock into her wet warmth. She was still so tight, it took them a few tries - though this time it certainly seemed to happen more quickly. It was easier, even if just by a small amount. Ben wanted to bury himself in her, but he kept a hold of her hips as she worked herself down atop him. When he was fully inside of her, she stilled, her breath heavy. 

"Shall we stop, lady?" He asked, pushing her hair out of her face. 

"Gods, no," she breathed out. "It's been too long already." 

"And she was going on about the wine," he hummed, his voice deep. 

She prevailed on him by tightening around him, drawing a strangled gasp of pleasure out of him as he fought not to push her into the mattress and fuck her completely. Her movements were slow at first. Ben enjoyed watching her seek out her own pleasure, moving in such a way that she seemed to enjoy. He realized that she was still learning, as it were. They began to move together, a slow build that caused the sensation to curl up in his abdomen like a snake. It toyed and it teased, as she did. 

Her skin was flushed and she had completely lost her will to tease him, moving atop him with her head thrown back and her mouth open. Her movements solicited lovely noises, and Ben found himself wanting to chase them out of her. He cupped her breast before his hand moved south, thumb tip teasing at her swollen clitoris. She gave out a low humming moan, and Ben continued with the onslaught, enjoying watching her tense up with each passing moment. 

Her climax came over her suddenly, causing her to hiccup with pleased, sweet noises as she shuddered around him. He moved with her, riding out the orgasm until she grasped his hand and forced him to still his movements, her breath still caught in her throat. Ben smirked, satisfied. 

"Keep going," she moaned, a command he wasn't going to ignore.

❂

The sun had gone down.

Ben could hear the revelers down below, shouting and carrying on. The courtyard was empty now, most of the celebrating having spilled out into Korriban's streets where there were Inns that stayed open all night. The moonlight shone heavy beyond the half closed curtain, filling the darkened room with a silvery sort of light. Rey had rolled forward, onto her stomach, and he could see the fine symmetry of her bare backside. He rolled over, running his fingers over the spun silk of her dark hair. 

Even such a short time after they'd finished, Ben spilling himself inside of her in such an intense way that he was sure he might feel sore the next day, it was difficult not to feel that familiar stirring. 

He wondered if his desire for her might never abate. He did not think he minded if it didn't. 

Ben began to hear the telltale pops of fireworks, something he had seen only once in his life. Rey sat up, her curiosity peaked. 

"What is that?" 

"A gift for my wife," he said, watching as she slid out of the bed, her thighs still sticky with him. 

She grabbed his dressing robe, pulling it on over her slight shoulders. It dwarfed her. He watched her pull her hair from the neckline and carefully make her way to the window. Ben could see the colored lights as the fireworks sailed into the sky, bursting out in patterns and colors, sparkling before fading into obscurity. Rey was transfixed, and he remembered that the one time he had seen them had been before she had come to Manaan. 

"Do you like them?" 

"They're beautiful," she said, still focused on the lights. She did turn to look at him. "Come and see." 

Ben slid out of the bed, joining her at the window. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back against his frame. 

"What if someone sees?" she asked, swatting his ass. 

"No one is looking here," he whispered in her ear, pulling her hair away from her neck. 

They watched until the fireworks had come to an end, bursting with noise and color for a few minutes before the only thing that remained was smoke, falling from the darkened sky. She turned to look at him, a smile lifting the corners of her mouth. 

"Wine?" She asked, unable to help the laugh that hiccuped out of her. 

Ben kissed her again. 

"Of course."

❂

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello.  
> you've made it to the end of this fic. i think this is my longest fic to date, so thanks if you stuck it out and read it all the way through!  
> you didn't think i was gonna leave em without a happy ending, did ya? 
> 
> may this smut and fluff sing you onto your next bigger and (hopefully) better fic. 
> 
> thanks again for reading!!


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